Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Beg a joke
Beg a joke
Bobby's every move can't be separated from the rope. Why? (Answer: Bobby is a puppet, (I don't understand this))
Xiao Wang is a good soldier. One day, when he was on duty, he clearly saw an enemy touching him quietly. Why did he turn a blind eye? (Answer: He is aiming)
4. A student throws a coin into the air: watch a movie face up, play billiards face up, and learn when the coin stands up. (Answer: To study)
5. Two dogs race. Dog A runs fast, while dog B runs slowly. Which dog sweated a lot at the finish line? (Answer: Dogs don't sweat)
6. There is an animal that is as big as a cat and looks like a tiger. What kind of animal is this? (Answer: Little Tiger) 7
7. Monkeys can break a corn every minute. How many corns can a monkey break in an orchard in five minutes? (Answer: I didn't get one)
8. Slip (hint: pay attention to homophonic) Three trees, you have to tie 10 horses, and only one horse can be tied, but not two? (answer: how to bolt? )
9. What is higher than the sky in the world? (answer: the heart is higher than the sky)
10. What is the most valuable thing missing? (answer: satellite)
1 1. Sanjinxin, Sanshui is called Miao, and three people are called Zhong, so what should the three ghosts be called? (Answer: Call for help)
12. What will the fat girl say when she is sick? (Answer: Take care of yourself)
13. What is more annoying than crows? (Answer: crow's mouth)
14. Who is the greatest philosopher in China? (answer: the elderly)
15. What does Sleeping Beauty fear most? (answer: insomnia)
16. Xiaoming said to Xiaohua: I can sit where you will never sit! Where is he sitting? (Answer: Xiaohua's body)
17. No matter how similar twins are, someone will always tell them apart. Who is this man? (Answer: themselves)
18. What is the longest car in the world except the train? (Answer: Traffic jam)
19. Who is the person who works only one day a year and is not afraid of being fired? (Answer: Santa Claus)
20. Why don't eggs rot when they hit rocks? (Answer: Of course it won't rot if you hit a stone with an egg. )
2 1. Which race is backward? (answer: tug of war)
22. What is the relationship between your father's sister's cousin's father and your uncle's son's sister-in-law? (answer: kinship)
23. What does a dentist do? (answer: mouth)
24. Yao Ming is a nearsighted and famously greedy boy. Put a pile of books in front of him and an apple behind them. What do you think he will read first? (Answer: I can't see anything)
25. A man who can't swim fell into the water but didn't drown. Why? (answer: wearing a life jacket)
26. What can solve all the mysteries? (Answer: Mystery)
27. Two dogs race. Dog A runs fast, while dog B runs slowly. Which dog sweated a lot at the finish line? (Answer: Dogs don't sweat)
28. Chuchu's birthday is March 30th. What year is this year? (Answer: March 30th every year)
29. Where does the sea not produce fish? (Answer: Ci Hai)
30. What is the biggest shadow you have seen so far? (Answer: Night, that is the shadow of the earth)
3 1. There is a natural black marble. What will happen if it is thrown into Qiantang River on September 7th? (Answer: Sink into the bottom of the river)
32. What is the fastest way to turn ice into water? (Answer: What two points have been removed from the word ice)
33. There is a person born to your parents, but he is not your brother or sister. Who is he? (Answer: yourself)
The hotter the weather, the higher it climbs. (Answer: Diffuser)
35. What will increase by half after handstand? (Answer: Number 6)
36. Why do people go to the market? (answer: because the market can't come)
37. Why can frogs jump higher than trees? (Answer: Trees can't jump)
38. There is an order written on the paper. However, people who can read the text can never read the command. So, what is written on the paper? (Answer: The grade says, Don't read this article)
39. What will happen when the air conditioner falls from the upstairs? (answer: murder weapon)
40. Why do modern people break their promises more and more? (Answer: It is certainly more convenient to make a phone call than to write a letter)
4 1. Two people live in an alley, only a few steps away. They work in the same factory, but when they go out to work every day, they always turn left and right. Why? (Answer: They live across the hall)
42. When can the net carry water? Answer: When water turns into ice, of course you can lift it with a net.
43. Where is the highest mortality rate in the world? (Answer: In bed)
44. You can do it, I can do it, everyone can do it, one can do it, and two people can't do it together. What is this for? (answer: dreaming)
45. How should a woman who has been divorced fifty times describe her? (Answer: Give up my previous job)
A woman who has been divorced fifty times, how should she be described? (Answer: Former public abandonment)
46. It takes three minutes for three children to eat three cakes, and how long does it take for ninety children to eat ninety cakes? (Answer: It's also three minutes, and ninety children eat at the same time)
47. What kind of wheel can only turn? (Answer: Wheels of Windmill)
48. What goes farthest every day? (Answer: Earth)
49. What is the earliest surname of China people? (a: surname list)
50. Iron will rust if it is left outside. What about gold? (answer: it will be stolen)
When is 5 1. 1+2 not equal to 3? (Answer: When the calculation is wrong)
52. When is the best time to raise your hand? (Answer: When someone points a gun at your head)
Xiaoming lives on the fifth floor, but the elevator is broken. Instead of taking the stairs, he went up to the fifth floor to go home. Is this possible? (Answer: Mom carried him upstairs)
54. What goes farthest every day? Answer: the earth (the earth rotates by one million kilometers every day).
55. A black, thick and hard stick was inserted into the hole, and it felt very warm. When pulling it out, the guest has to pay (a deal) (a: baking sugar cane)
56. It's hard to lick, and it's hard not to lick. If you want to sleep comfortably, first rub it (something) on people (answer: teeth)
57. One thing, short in the east and long in the west, can be used by women after marriage, but not by monks (answer: male surname).
58. What is the hardest part? Girls like it best, especially married women, and they can't put it down. (answer: diamonds)
59. Amin was bitten by mosquitoes. Can you tell me if the bigger bag was bitten by a male mosquito or a female mosquito? (Answer: Male mosquitoes don't bite)
60. In a house, there are oil lamps, heaters and fireplaces. Now, I want to light three appliances, but you only have one match. Which one should I order first? (Answer: Matches)
6 1. There are two prisoners in the cell. One of them was locked up for a year for stealing, and the other was a robber and a murderer, but only for two weeks. Why? (Answer: Because the murderer wants to drag him to live)
62. How to divide five apples between two people is the fairest? (answer: squeezed into juice)
63. Xiao Zhang was driving and accidentally bumped into a telephone pole. There was a dead man in the car when the police arrived. Xiao Zhang said it had nothing to do with him and the police believed him. Why? (answer: small hearse)
64. A fierce and hungry cat saw a mouse. Why did it run away? (Answer: Run after the mouse)
65. What is the longest nose and the second longest nose of an elephant in the zoo? (Answer: Elephant)
66. Why can't you see your footprints when you walk on the beach? (Answer: Walk backwards)
67. What animal did you kill but shed blood? (answer: mosquitoes)
68. Two fathers and sons went to buy hats. Why did they only buy three? (answer: three generations)
69. Xiaohong and Xiaoli are classmates and live in the same street. They always go to school together, but when they leave home every day, one goes left and the other goes right. What happened? (answer: opposite their home)
70. In a closely monitored exam, two students handed in the same test paper. After the examiner found out, he didn't think they cheated. What is the reason? (Answer: Both papers were handed in blank)
7 1. Aunt Zhang talked all day, but for one month she said the least. What month was that? (Answer: February)
There is a place where bad people are taught, but no police dare to take action to destroy it. What is this place (answer: detention center)
73. The news published in the newspaper may not be 100% true, but what news can never be false? (A: The year, month and day in the newspaper)
74. What is the first thing that everyone wakes up in the morning? (Answer: Open your eyes)
75. What should you do if you have a hen that lays golden eggs? (Answer: Stop dreaming)
76. A plane full of people fell from a height of 10,000 meters. Why is no one hurt? Answer: No one was injured, but they all fell dead. )
77. If we want to realize our dreams, what is the first thing we should do? (Answer: Wake up)
78. What do people dislike to eat? (answer: losing money)
79. People told Adan that her clothes had no buttons, but she didn't care. Why? Answer: Because his clothes only have zippers and no buttons.
80. set off firecrackers under your crotch-hit a military item (answer: bomb)
8 1. condoms-type a place name (answer: Baotou)
82. Xiao Liu is a very ordinary person. Why can he not blink for more than ten hours? (answer: while sleeping)
83. Valentine's Day cards, birthday cards, large and small cards, what cards should I send to a woman to win her heart? (Answer: Credit card)
84. Xiao Wang never touches the ground when walking. Why? (Answer: Because of wearing shoes)
85. Where can I pay for the speech? (a: by phone)
86. Dongdong's father has good teeth, but he often goes to the stomatological hospital. Why? (Answer: Because he is a dentist)
87. On which floor should Gai Lou be built? (Answer: Start with the basics)
88. Why do geese fly to the south in autumn? (answer: it's too slow to go. )
89. What door can never be closed? (Answer: Football Gate)
90. What is more annoying than crows? (Answer: crow's mouth)
9 1. Woman falls. -Name a foreign city (answer: Babylon)
92. There is a person born to your parents, but he is not your brother or sister. Who is he? (Answer: yourself)
93. An old lady got on the bus. Why didn't anyone give up his seat? (Answer: There is room in the car)
94. Xiao Wang whistled leisurely while brushing his teeth. How did he do it? (Answer: Brush false teeth)
95. Which is more painful, starting with coconut or watermelon? (Answer: I have a headache)
96. What are the products with the same production date and effective date? (answer: newspaper)
97. Why do hospitals never accept patients? (Answer: Veterinary Hospital)
98. There is a cow with its head facing north. It turns right three times, then turns back three times, and then turns right again. Where does its tail turn at this time? (answer: face the ground)
99. What do fat girls say when they are sick and most afraid of being visited by others? (Answer: Take care)
100. If tomorrow is the end of the world, why do people want to commit suicide today? (Answer: Have a place in heaven)
Cold joke:
1 There is a hide-and-seek club, and the person in charge hasn't been found yet.
There is a man who looks like an onion, crying as he walks.
On a hot afternoon, a match tickled, scratched and caught fire.
Why not say hello to your rare steak? Because they don't know each other.
On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking on the road. The banana walking in front suddenly felt so hot. He said it was too hot. I want to take off my clothes. As a result, he skinned it. As a result, the banana in the back fell down.
Once upon a time, a steamed stuffed bun walked on the road and felt hungry, so it ate itself. Once upon a time, there was a loaf of bread walking in the street. He felt hungry and ate himself. Once upon a time, there was a marshmallow who went to play ball for a long time. He said, "I'm so tired. I feel that I am soft. "
Once upon a time, there was a bird. He passed a cornfield every day, but one day the cornfield caught fire and all the corn turned into popcorn! After the bird flew by ... it thought it was snowing, so it was very cold.
Xiaoming got a new haircut and came to school the next day. The students all laughed when they saw his new hairstyle: Xiao Ming, your head looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged, so he ran outside crying and flew away.
The fish said, "I kept my eyes open to leave you." The water said, "I have been flowing tirelessly all day and want to hug you." The pot said, "I'm so stubborn when I'm fucking ripe."
Xiao Bai looks like his brother. Do you know why? Because: the facts are clear.
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12 Draw a V on two fingers. What is this? Yeah! Hands are shaking, reach down. What is this? It's fallen leaves!
13 stretch four fingers, what is it? Fourth, bend four fingers. What is this? Wonderful! (bend four)
14 When the millionaire drove through a village in a luxury extended Lincoln sedan, he saw two beggars pulling grass at the roadside to eat, and the millionaire stopped immediately. "Why do you eat grass?" "We really have no money ..." A beggar replied. "Really, get in the car and go to my house." "I have a wife and two children at home ..." A beggar muttered. "Call them." The rich man pointed to another beggar. "And you, call home, too." "My family has a large population. Besides my wife, there are five children. " Another beggar said. "Never mind, call them all and go!" In this way, two beggars and their families got on the bus, but fortunately it was an extended bus. On the way to exercise, a beggar's wife said gratefully, "Boss, it's very kind of you to invite even poor people like us to our home." The millionaire replied, "Nothing, I just came back from abroad, and my house has been neglected.". The lawn in the yard may be more than one meter high and you can eat enough. "
15 Wolf, tiger and lion, who will definitely be eliminated when playing games? Wolf because: Momotaro (eliminated the wolf).
16 once upon a time, there was a lamb. One day, he went out to play and met a wolf. The wolf said, "I will eat you!" " "Guess what? As a result, the wolf ate the lamb.
17 one day, three little pigs built three huts to avoid the wolf's pursuit. Wolves easily destroyed straw houses, wooden houses and brick houses. Three little pigs ran as fast as they could, but the wolf caught up with them. The three little pigs said in despair, it's up to you. We gave up. Whatever. At this time, the wolf grinned and drooled and said, "Then tell me where Little Red Riding Hood is?"
18 stones fight with rice cakes, and when they get angry, they kick the rice cakes into the sea.
Later, a couple decided privately for life, but the man wanted to go abroad for military service. Before he left, he gave her a ring and agreed to meet her here with it three years later. Three years later, the woman didn't find the ring and threw it into the sea sadly. Actually, the woman remembered the wrong place. When the man came back and couldn't find a woman, he went fishing by the sea dejectedly. Suddenly he grabbed something. Guess what this is?
It's rice cake.
Later, he finally caught a fish and bit something hard while eating. What do you think it is?
It's fish bones.
19 once upon a time, a man fished and caught a squid. Squid begged him: Let me go! The man said, well, let me ask you a few questions. Squid said happily, take the exam! Then people roast squid.
The diver's movements are difficult. He turned three times, then somersaulted forward for three and a half times, and then somersaulted backward for a month.
2 1 someone's newly-installed phone has just been rented out by the cinema, and people often call to ask about the movies being shown. At first, he always explained politely that this mobile phone is no longer owned by the cinema, but it is his now. Please don't call again. After a long time, he also felt annoyed and simply said, "You have the wrong number!" " This will also save some saliva. One day, a familiar voice came from the other side: "Excuse me?
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