How should Song Wu correctly handle Pan Jinlian's toast?

The so-called high emotional intelligence, the most direct embodiment, is the ability to speak and do things. People with high emotional intelligence can always reduce and avoid some unnecessary contradictions. In fact, this has little to do with people's personality. In other words, just because you have a bad temper doesn't mean that your emotional intelligence is not high!

For example, in the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, although Liu Bei cried every day, in fact, in the Historical Records, his temper is everywhere. Actually, this is easy to understand. Liu Beiruo knows how to cry. How can he control Guan Yu and Zhang Fei?

On the contrary, Cao Cao is the one who loves to cry. But the question is who dares to say that these two people have low emotional intelligence? Are quite high emotional intelligence. For example, in the most classic "Talking about Heroes in Childhood" by Cao Cao and Liu Bei, there is a sentence that really dares to say: Heroes in the world only behave like kings. The other one really dared to fight: chopsticks fell on the ground, not because of God!

One attack and one defense is not only a confrontation in character, but also a contest in emotional intelligence. For example, why didn't Liu Bei answer the phone? Because he couldn't answer, whether he denied it or admitted it, Cao Cao would pursue it, and then Liu Bei said too much and lost too much!

Why is Cao Cao so straightforward? One is to warn Liu Bei that Cao Cao knows exactly who you are, and the other is to praise Liu Bei and try to win over the relationship. After all, Yuan Shao in the north is eyeing up, and Boss Cao is jumpy. He must try his best to resist Yuan Shao.

After understanding that personality has little to do with emotional intelligence, let's take a look at a controversial question and answer in Water Margin. Let me restore the scene at that time. The original text is as follows:

(Pan Jinlian) Sift a glass of wine, took a sip, looked at Song Wu and said, "If you have the heart, just eat my half glass of wine."

Song Wu snatched it from her hand and threw it on the ground, saying, "Sister-in-law, don't be ashamed!" Just push with your hands and buy some time to push the woman.

This confrontation directly led to the sharp contradiction between Song Wu and Pan Jinlian, and finally moved out of Wu Dalang's home. Pan Jinlian also began to slander and plant Song Wu, provoking the relationship between Wu Dalang and Song Wu until he met Ximen Qing. ...

I'm afraid we all understand a rule that once something is done for the first time, it means it's hard to go back. For example, after Pan Jinlian was criticized by Song Wusheng, she completely destroyed the defense line in her heart. Since then, her self-positioning has been misplaced-in the end, she has become a widely recognized appearance, which is actually a broken window effect.

So when Pan Jinlian said, "If you have this heart, eat my half glass of wine", how did Song Wu answer, with the highest emotional intelligence? In other words, how did Song deal with it to avoid the "broken window effect" of Pan Jinlian and prevent the tragedy from happening?

One: Liu Bei's cold treatment.

Obviously, learning from Liu Bei is the easiest choice for Song Wu. Is to change the subject and not answer the cold treatment. But to be honest, this process has a high probability of failure. After all, Song Wu is facing Pan Jinlian at the moment, not Liu Bei is facing Cao Cao.

The so-called opposites attract, this is not explained, everyone understands. Therefore, even if Song Wu chose the "Liu Bei-style" cold treatment, Pan Jinlian would have lost his heart at the moment, approaching step by step, and Song Wu might not escape!

Therefore, Liu Bei's cold treatment is only suitable for people who are both sensible and have high emotional intelligence. It is usually not a good idea for the opposite sex to take this approach. The reason is that the four words "opposites attract". You can be emotional and calm, but if the other person dares to go this far, it proves that he is "crazy" or "crazy" and it is still difficult to deal with.

Even if some people say that Song Wu is playing dumb? For example, Song Wu laughed, took two sea bowls, filled them with wine, picked up a bowl and handed it to Pan Jinlian, saying, "Sister-in-law respects Song Wu so much, don't say anything, it's all in the wine!" That is to say, get Pan Jinlian drunk and leave.

But the problem is that this is purely a joke or a joke. Who dares to treat you like this? Don't say a bowl of wine is a bowl of poison. Pan Jinlian really dares to drink, because for her, it is a sign of Song Wu's approval! Therefore, it is basically difficult to talk about the opposite sex and want to deal with it coldly!

Second: Yan Qing's wisdom.

In fact, in Water Margin, something like Song Wu facing Pan Jinlian has already happened. That is, when Yan Qing faced Li Shishi, we also restored the scene at that time.

Li Shishi is a prostitute and a water-based person. When he met Yan Qing, he spoke quickly and easily, but he had a crush on him. Between banquets, ridicule him with some words; After a few drinks and a few words, they came to provoke.

Yan Qing is a brilliant man, why not save him? He is a hero's mind, afraid of missing his brother's big event. How dare he come and provoke him?

Obviously, Yan Qing was treated coldly at first, but it's a pity that Li Shishi forced him to take off his clothes and look at his tattoos. Yan Qing had to do it, so the following scene happened.

Li Shishi was very happy to see this. He put a sharp jade hand on him and stroked him. Yan Qing hurriedly put on his clothes. Li Shishi and Yan Qing took the lamp again and adjusted his words.

Is this scene similar to that of Song Wu facing Pan Jinlian? Even more thrilling than Song Wu at that time. But how did Yan Qing handle it? Yan Qing was witty and finally became sworn brothers and sisters!

Therefore, the way for Song Wu to get high EQ is to learn from Yan Qing's wisdom. The so-called eldest brother is like a father and eldest sister-in-law is like a mother. You can't turn your face and yell at each other, let alone hit people. But to deal with the topic coldly and dominate this aspect (eldest sister-in-law is like a mother)!

Third: general analysis.

Of course, all this is just a discussion. The purpose is actually to sum up some effective and high-EQ methods through these existing cases. After all, a person with high emotional intelligence can always avoid or resolve some unnecessary contradictions through language and guide the situation to a rational and controllable situation.