Your most memorable joke

TOP 1: Last month, I borrowed 5000 yuan from my friend with an ant loan. It was agreed that he would pay me back this month, but he said he had no money, so I paid him back 5000 yuan. Now it's 10000 yuan! Today, he paid me 5000 yuan. Hehe, I didn't say anything, but no one is a fool. I will be my brother for 8 years without you. ...

TOP2: An underground parking lot has just been built in the community. I quickly bought a parking space and solved the dilemma of no parking space. I didn't expect my neighbor Zhang Jie to buy a parking space, which happened to be the parking space next door to me! No, it's been over a month. Sister Zhang's car is parked in the parking space every day and she doesn't drive to and from work. I happened to meet her today and asked her, "Sister, you don't need a car at home recently?" ? Who knows the elder sister sighed and said, don't mention it, the car has been lost for a month …

TOP3: Teacher: "What is the most touching thing your mother said to you?" Xiao Ming: "I don't want to talk, teacher." Teacher: "Go ahead, it's okay, I won't let you go out." Xiao Ming: "My mother said I should wear more clothes for school. The corridor is very cold. . . . "

God's comment: You don't feel pain when the teacher in thick clothes hits you.

TOP4: I went to Lamian Noodles to eat Lamian Noodles yesterday. On the way, I saw a hair in the bowl. It's black and short. At first glance, it is Lamian Noodles's boiled hair. I invited him over. I asked him what happened to the hair between my arms. I thought he would apologize and bring me another bowl. As a result, he smiled and said, girl, didn't you brush your teeth?

Divine comment: two people with stories

(The same is the golden hair, why is the gap so big? )

TOP5: I just came home from work at noon, and my wife came out naked and said that she would play hide-and-seek with me. Hey, I'm so tired after work, I want to sleep. The wife coquetry said: people can play, who let her be my wife? I close my eyes and get ready. Prepare for five minutes. The game begins. I looked everywhere in the toilet, kitchen, bedroom, under the bed, in the cupboard, behind the curtains, and where I could hide people. Sure enough, there are no men here. I guess I'm being paranoid. . .

TOP6: A few months ago, I saw on the Internet that people who were robbed should not be nervous. They should take the initiative to help him take off his pants and take them off to his heels before running. He can't catch up with you. I always remember this trick. I haven't been robbed every night for months. I am kind and tired ... I forgot to mention that the landlord is straight. ...

(I didn't sleep, really didn't sleep)

My son has a partial eclipse. My wife and I stipulate that he must eat green vegetables. My son said discontentedly, I am forced to eat dishes I don't like every day. When you are old, I will cook dishes you don't like every day. What don't you like? Me: abalone! Wife: Bird's Nest! Son: I remember giving you these every day in the future. Son, mom and dad are waiting for you.

God's comment: Mom and Dad, when you are old, I will chew up my favorite fruit and feed it to you. Mom and Dad: What kind of fruit do you like best? Son: sugar cane, sugar cane.

I forgot to close the screen window last night and was awakened by mosquitoes in the middle of the night. When I turned on the light, I found mosquitoes everywhere in the house. Half of them died after a while. I was so sleepy that I went to bed. Before lying down, I turned the air conditioner to the lowest level, thinking that I could freeze those smelly mosquitoes to death. Damn it! Unexpectedly, when I woke up in the morning, the mosquito didn't die, but Tintin was full of youth.

The boss wants a jiaozi bread stuffed with leek and pork. )

Recently, thieves are rampant in my hometown, so I suggest installing a camera with my father. . . Not long after, my father called: "My house was stolen, and my mother's bracelet was stolen." I asked, "Not a camera. Did you catch the thief? " There was a silence at the other end of the phone for a while, and my father said, "At that time, it was easy to save trouble, so I installed a camera and didn't need to connect the computer by wire at all." I was speechless, and my father said, "The camera used for decoration has also been stolen!

God's comment: You think you are Zhuge Liang, and you still use the empty city plan.

TOP 10: My husband left his mobile phone on the table when he took a shower tonight. Suddenly, a message came. When I saw it, it was a woman who sent him the hotel address. I was angry at that time, so I took the knife. I think I must cure this bitch. As a result, I knocked on the door of the hotel, and the woman's husband answered the door. He still has a knife. Later, we ...

Wit boy teaches you how to answer the phone correctly when playing games.