Who can help me make up a joke about comics and animation? Want English! Be funny!

Part 1

Baozi and noodles had a big fight, but because Baozi was too meaty, he was beaten to pieces by the noodles, so

when he left, the man on the other side Tiao left the next sentence: "Don't leave if you are so brave. I'll ask my partner to teach you a lesson." Baozi went there

I made an appointment with fried dumplings, steamed buns, bread, etc., and was going to go find some noodles to talk about, and I was on the way. When they encountered instant noodles,

Baozi and others surrounded him and beat him severely. After instant noodles were beaten indiscriminately, they asked Baozi why he was beaten?

Baozi replied : Noodles, don’t think that if you perm your hair, I won’t recognize you!

--------------------------------------------- --------------------------

Part 2

After the instant noodles were eaten by sea, I felt very unhappy, so I teamed up with rice noodles, udon noodles, Japanese buckwheat noodles and fried soybean noodles to find Baozi to settle the score. Unexpectedly, I met xiaolongbao on the road. The instant noodle finger looked at it carefully for a while and said: Brothers, come on! Use more force to make the instant noodles flat. After flattening the steamed buns, the tribesmen walked away. Later

Others asked about Instant Noodles and said: You were so hard to flatten just now. We didn’t know you hated him so much. Instant Noodles said:

I just wanted to do a little K. I didn’t expect him to pretend to be cute and wear children’s clothes... The more I think about it, the angrier I get.

Topic: It turns out

The child wrote: It turns out he is my father.

Teacher’s comment: Mom, please be concerned

2. Make a sentence as usual

Title: (tree, tree, tree) I will (plant) you

The child wrote: (tangyuan glutinous rice balls) I will eat you

Teacher’s comment: So cute~~

3. Topic: ..on one side... .....while......

The child wrote: He was taking off his clothes and putting on his pants at the same time

Teacher's comment: He had to take them off at the same time. I still have to wear it~~

4. Topic: Textbook

Children wrote: Class is inherently boring

Teacher’s comment: You have to concentrate in class

5. Topic: Popular

Children wrote: I like eating bananas very much

Teacher’s comment: Be careful of choking

6. Topic: Once upon a time

Children wrote: Xiao Ming came in from the front door.

7. Topic: Innocence

Children wrote: It’s really hot today.

Teacher’s comment: You are so naive~~

8. Question: Ten points

Children wrote: I got ten points in the test today.

Teacher’s comment: I will tell your parents~ ~

9. Topic: Among them

The child wrote: One of my left feet is injured

Teacher’s comment: Are you a centipede? ~~

10. Topic: Just...

The child wrote: A doll costs one hundred yuan.

Teacher’s comment: The teacher laughed. Not enough

11. Topic: You see

Children write: What are you looking at! I haven’t seen it!

12. Make the same sentence example: You ( Singing) I (dancing)

Children wrote: Are you (ok) I (very good)

Teacher’s comment: Are you writing an English translation?

13. Make the same sentence example: Others praise me ( ), but actually I ( )

The children wrote: Others praise me (very handsome), but actually I (wear a mask).

Teacher’s comment: What kind of mask is so easy to use

14. Topic: Good...and good...

Children wrote: Mom’s legs are so thin and thick... .

Teacher’s comment: Is it thin or thick?

15. Topic: Lu Lu Lu Nuo

Children wrote: After get off work, Dad Lu Lu Lu continues. return.

Teacher’s comment: How many fathers do you have?

16. Question: First. ． ． Again. ． ．

Example: Eat first, then take a shower.

Children wrote: Goodbye, sir!

17. Topic: Ends of the World

Children wrote: My sister ran around to the ends of the earth.

Teacher’s comment: Your sister is really good at running~~

18. Topic: All the time

The child wrote: I drew a straight line.

Teacher’s comments: ..................

19. Topic: Immediately

Children write: I ride On horseback.

Teacher’s comment: Come to the teacher immediately!

20. Topic: The skin was torn to pieces

The child wrote: On a night when there was a power outage, everything was dark, and I was so scared that my skin was torn to pieces!

Teacher’s comment: I saw this sentence. .. The teacher admires you. .

21. Title: Thriving - a metaphor for beautiful growth.

A child writes: My brother is growing up and thriving.

Teacher’s comment: My child, is your brother a vegetative person...

There is another one who is even more blind...

The child wrote: Xinxinxiang Rongrong confesses.

Teacher’s comment: Don’t watch too many TV series~~

22. Topic: Thank you...because...

Children write: I want to thank my mother because she helps me with my homework every day...

Teacher’s comment: It turns out your homework was written by your mother!!!!!!!

23. Topic: Sad

Children wrote: There is a ditch in front of my house, which is very sad.

Teacher’s comment: The teacher is even more sad...

24. Topic: If

Children write: If the juice doesn’t taste good, don’t drink it.

Teacher’s comment: Orz...

25. Topic: Simply

The children wrote: The biscuits are crunchy and delicious

< p>Teacher's comment: (Speechless)....... =.=

26. Topic: Genius

The child wrote: I only take a bath every three days.

Teacher’s comment: You have to wash it every day to be clean~~

27. Topic: As soon as...to go...

The child wrote: As soon as I walked out of the door, there was a convenience across the street shop.

Teacher’s comment: Don’t make random sentences...

28. Topic: Side... Side...

Children write: There is someone on my left, I have it on my right side too.

29. Topic: Very

Children wrote: I don’t know what very means.

Teacher’s comment: I don’t know what to ask...

30. Question: Because...so...

Children wrote: Because I have a father Mom, that’s why I was born in this world.

Teacher’s comment: 5 points deducted....

31. Topic: And...and...

Children write: My mother is short, tall, thin and fat.

Teacher’s comment: Is your mother... a monster?

32 Sure enough

The children in class said: Yesterday I ate fruit, and then I drank cold water

Teacher: This is a phrase and cannot be separated into sentences.

The child said again: Teacher, I haven’t finished speaking yet. Sure enough, I had diarrhea at night!

Teacher: ........

33 Divide

Children: Big fools can’t tell right from wrong

Teacher: Even the little fool can’t tell the difference

34 Delicious

Child: It tastes so good

Teacher: .......

< p>35 What's more

Children: A train passed by, what's more, what's more, what's more...

Teacher: .........

< p>I received a call yesterday from an unknown person with a southern accent. He called me by my first name!

"Mr. Wang, ah!"

"Who are you?"

"Your old friend"

"Who is it?"

"Old friend from Guangdong, you can't even recognize my voice?"

"Who are you?"

"Oh, Mr. Wang, you are such a forgetful person."

I was really confused by the question. I couldn't remember the voice. After chatting for a long time, the other person refused to say his name. In the end, I didn't I got impatient and said, "If you don't tell me, forget it." I hung up the phone.

Later I thought something was wrong, maybe it was a liar. If I recognized the other person’s voice as that of an old friend, the other person would find a way to tell stories to get money.

I dialed back the number shown just now.

I said: "You are Lao Zhang from Guangdong, right?"

"Yes, yes, yes, look, I said you noble man is so forgetful, even my voice is I can’t hear it anymore.”

“I’m sorry, Lao Zhang, I thought someone was joking with me.”

“Mr. Wang, I want to go to Shenyang and treat you to dinner. , I'll be the host..."

I asked: "Lao Zhang, how is your mother's cancer?"

The other party was startled: "Oh... It's still the same."

"Hey, there's nothing you can do about it. Is your dad's car accident case closed?"

"Oh... that's almost it."

"Okay, everyone is gone, don't worry too much about whether you pay compensation or not"

"Yeah"

I asked again: "The gangster who raped your wife Have you caught him?"

.....

"Caught him, caught him"

I asked again, "Your son has no butthole. Have you had the surgery?"

......

The other party held it in for 10 seconds without saying anything and hung up the phone

< p>One day the geography teacher asked the students, where does the river flow?

A student suddenly stood up and sang: The river flows eastward.

The teacher ignored him and continued, how many stars are there in the sky?

The classmate sang again: The stars in the sky are in the Big Dipper.

The teacher was furious: Get out of here!

Student: Let’s go if we say so.

The teacher said helplessly: Are you sick?

Student: You have it, I have it all!

Teacher: Please say one more thing...

Student: When you see injustice on the road, let out a roar. ah!

Teacher: Do you believe that I will beat you?

Student: Take action when it’s time to take action...

Teacher angry: I’ll make you drop out of school!

Student: Traveling to Kyushu in a hurry

Waiter: Welcome to KFC, what would you like to order?

Guest: A hamburger.

Waiter: Spicy or not? :

Guest: Spicy.

Waiter: If you add two more dollars, I can change it to a double burger, okay?

Guest: OK, double burger

Waiter: What else would you like?

Guest: French fries.

Waiter: Would you like large fries, medium fries or small fries?

Guest: Medium fries.

Waiter: How many packs do you want?

Guest: One pack is enough.

Waiter: We now have the latest French fries shaker. Do you want to try it?

Guest: No, just give me ketchup.

Waiter: Can I have two packets of ketchup?

Guest: If possible, I would like two hundred bags.

Waiter: Sorry sir, the ketchup we have here is in limited supply.

Guest: Then why are you talking nonsense to me!

Waiter: I'm sorry, sir, what else would you like to order?

Guest: Drinks.

Waiter: We have Sprite, Black Tea, Coke Fanta, which one do you want?

Guest: Coke.

Waiter: Do you want a large, medium or small cup or a bottle?

Guest: Medium cup.

Waiter: Do you need some ice?

Guest: Required.

Waiter: A little more ice or a little less?

Guest: That’s almost it.

Waiter: Can I give you a little more?

Guest: Yes. Thanks.

Waiter: You're welcome, sir. Why don’t you try our latest Chicken Taco?

Guest: No, thank you

Waiter: What about the special price of hot chicken popcorn?

Guest: Neither.

Waiter: So do you want to try the takeaway family meal that comes with Doraemon?

Guest: No

Waiter: Well, would you like to eat here or take away sir?

Guest: Take it away.

Waiter: Sir, one *** is twenty-one and fifty cents. Sir, do you have fifty cents?

Guest: Yes.

Waiter: Okay sir, I charge you one hundred yuan and fifty cents, I charge you seventy-nine yuan, I'm short of you by two yuan, can I give you four fifty cents?

Guest: OK.

Waiter: Thank you sir. Welcome to KFC next time!

Guest: But what about what I ordered?

Waiter: Sorry sir, we have temporarily run out of packaging bags for takeaway meals. Can you eat here?

Guest: ,,,,,,,

Waiter: Sir, do you have any other requests?

Guest: I really want to punch you!

Waiter: So sir, do you want to use left hook, right hook or combination?

Guest:. . . . . .

Waiter: Sir, do you have any other requests?

Guest: I really want to give you a blow!

Waiter: Sir, do you want to use a long knife or a dagger?

Guest: Use a kitchen knife.

Waiter: Sir, do you prepare it yourself or do you want me to prepare it for you?

Guest: ```````

Waiter: Are you going to chop off my head or my body?

Guest: ``````````

Waiter: I suggest you wear the gloves we provide when you chop me to prevent blood from staining your hands. Dirty.

Guest:``````````````````````````````````` ``````

Mom: What does "i don't know." mean?

I said: "I don't know"

Mom: I have sent you to college for several years, but you don't know anything! !

I said: No! Is it just "I don't know"? !

Mom: Talk back! ! ! ! $@%!#$^&%#$%@$%@#$%!^%^!^%$^#&.....(a beating)

Mom: You are telling me this. You should know what "i know." means. Tell me.

I said: "I know"

Mom: If you know, just tell me.

I said: "I know"

Mom: Are you looking for trouble? Didn't you take care of yourself just now?

I said: I know it!

Mom: I knew you didn’t tell me yet! ! Don’t pretend to understand if you don’t understand! &*$%^@$#!%$@^%#*$^^^##$%(another beating)

Mom: Be careful, you spend so much money I sent you money to go to college, but now you don’t know how to do anything. You know a few things and you still show off to me. Let me ask you the last question. Please explain it to me. If you can’t tell me, I am punishing you. Please translate it for me. What does "i know but i don't want to tell you." mean?

I fainted, picked up a pillow and banged it on my head more than thirty times, banged my head against the wall more than forty times, slapped myself in the mouth more than fifty times with both hands, and kicked the corner of the table more than sixty times with my legs. Next, when my flesh and blood were mutilated, I asked my mother: Are you satisfied with this?

She came to ask me again: "Son, I`m very annoyance, don`t tuouble me. What does it mean~?"

Me: "I'm very annoyed, don't bother me"

Mom: "I'm looking for a beating for talking to your mother like that" (so I was flattened)

Mom asked again; "i hear nothing, repeat. What does it mean?"

I said: "I didn't hear clearly, say it again"

Mom said it again: I hear nothing, repeat”

“I didn’t hear it clearly, repeat it”

The result was that I was flattened

Mom asked again : "what do you say "How to explain it"

I said: "what do you say" (flattened again)

Mom asked again: "look up in the dictionary "What do you mean?"

I said: "Look it up in the dictionary"

"Look it up in the dictionary and I ask you what you are doing" (being flattened)

Mom And asked: you had better ask some body. How to translate it?"

I said: "You had better ask others"

"You are my son, why should I ask others? Find a fight."

"Ah! god save me!"

"You are playing with your mother, even God can't save you! (Being flat)

I'll ask you again: "What does it mean to use your head, then think it over?"

I said: "Use your head, then think it over carefully."

"You brat, you dare to play tricks on me" and then started to do it again

I quickly said: "Only my mother is good in the world"

"Well, that's pretty much it. I'll tell you later I’ll prepare delicious food for you and ask you tomorrow.”

I owe the beggar a dollar

Alin worked in a company. One day, he was waiting for the bus in front of the Tianhe Sports Center. When I got home, there was a beggar squatting behind me. He was a man in his thirties, sloppily dressed, with a small bowl in front of him, with some change of one or two yuan in it.

Alin has always looked down on this kind of person: He was in his prime, not relying on his hands to make money, but he came out to beg regardless of his face. But that day, for some unknown reason, probably because he was in a good mood, Alin suddenly wanted to give him money, so he took out a dollar and threw it in his bowl. Inside.

The beggar nodded and said, "Thank you!" Alin didn't look at him anymore and continued to wait for the bus.

The bus was about to arrive. Alin opened the bag he carried with him. Unexpectedly, there was not a penny in the bag. He secretly cursed himself for being stupid. Yesterday, when he was packing things at home, he took out the money and forgot to put it in. When he touched his body again, his pockets were all empty - he was the one who gave it to the beggar just now. The last dollar he had! What should he do? He was still more than ten kilometers away from home, so he couldn’t walk back! He was so anxious that he was so anxious that he was really a hero. He saw three buses driving away in a row. , the sky was also getting dark.

Suddenly, Alin aimed his eyes at the beggar's bowl. The dollar he threw in just now was still there. He didn't care when he took it, but now it turned into a treasure. He couldn't help but look at the beggar again, and this time he saw clearly: there was something wrong with the beggar's legs and he was lame; his eyes were not very good, and he squinted when he looked at people. The beggar probably also

He noticed him and said to him: "Sir, did you run out of money to take the bus..." Alin felt happy and nodded repeatedly. The beggar said: "How much do you want?" Alin said: "One piece, that's it." The dollar I gave you just now... is enough." The beggar took out a dollar from the bowl and gave it to Alin with a smile.

Alin's face turned red and he looked left and right. , making sure that no one was paying attention, he walked over and took the money. At this moment, the bus came. A Lin quickly squeezed on, but as soon as he got on the bus, he saw a line of words written on the automatic coin box, saying it was summer. Here we are, the air conditioner will be turned on in the car starting from today, and there will be an additional charge of one yuan. A Lin was dumbfounded, the air conditioner was not turned on in the morning, and it was not turned on at night, but it was turned on today, it was really fatal!

The driver saw A Lin He was stunned there, opening his mouth to say something, but without waiting for him to speak, Alin hurriedly got out of the car, retreated to the corner, and crouched down. He felt a little desperate.

At this time, someone gently touched his hand. A Lin called in his ear: "Sir." When A Lin saw it, it was the beggar again. The beggar asked: "Are you one yuan short of enough to take the bus?" When he saw A Lin nodded, he said, "I'll give it to you again." One dollar, you can go home by car!" Alin couldn't believe his ears, but seeing that his eyes were sincere and not teasing at all, Alin knew that he was sincerely helping him, and he was very touched. , before he had time to think too much, the beggar had already put a dollar in Alin's hand.

In this way, Alin and the beggar squatted face to face and chatted like friends. Lin asked him how he came to be a beggar here. He smiled honestly and said that his surname was Zhou. He used to work with a construction team, but later he broke his leg. Farmers have a hard time with a broken leg. They really can't think of making money at home. Fazi, I heard that there are many rich people in Guangzhou, so I want to beg here for a while. If I can save some money, I can go back to my hometown and open a small shop. When he said this, his bloodshot eyes were full of hope.< /p>

Although Alin did not admire him, he felt that he was different from other beggars. Alin said: "Will you still be here tomorrow? I will definitely come to pay you back." Then he said to him. He stretched out his hand. The beggar was a little panicked, but he still hesitantly stretched out his dirty hand. A Lin shook hands with him and said, "Goodbye, Mr. Zhou!"

A Lin used I borrowed one dollar from the beggar, plus the one dollar I had given him as alms and wanted back later, and took the bus back home.

Early the next morning, something urgent happened in my hometown. , the call came, A Lin could not delay, and left immediately, but the matter of paying back the beggar's money kept in his mind. When A Lin came back from finishing his work two days later, he rushed to Tianhe immediately, and sure enough he saw that the beggar was still there. A Lin felt happy, strode over to him, and shouted to him: "Hi——" Unexpectedly, when he saw A Lin, he was so frightened that he got up from the ground and ran forward stumblingly as if he had seen a ghost. A-Lin stepped forward and grabbed him, and asked with a smile: "What's wrong, man?" He put his head in his hands, lowered his head, and said in shock and fear: "I am blind, please forgive me. I don't dare to do it anymore..." A Lin was confused and asked hurriedly: "What's going on?" He didn't answer, he just kept begging for mercy. At this time, many pedestrians stopped to watch, A Lin I was a little embarrassed and didn't dare to stay long, so I had to leave in a hurry.

When I got home, my brother was singing karaoke. A Lin was moved and asked, "Did you go out yesterday?" "I took my girlfriend there." Went to Tianhe." A Lin was stunned: "Went to Tianhe? Did you encounter anything?" His younger brother muttered: "I met a madman begging for food and beat him twice..."

Alin was anxious He continued to ask: "What madman? Why did you beat him?" The younger brother said: "My girlfriend and I were walking when suddenly a beggar approached me and approached me with a smile. I ignored him, but who knew this guy was so bold? How dare you pull me with your hands... My girlfriend said, you have so many friends, and there are also beggars! When I heard this, I was very angry and beat him..."

Alin Quan I understand: I look very much like my younger brother, and the beggar’s eyesight is not very good, so he must have mistaken his younger brother for me, but my younger brother has a hot temper, so he beat the beggar...

My younger brother also Not understanding what was going on, he asked: "Brother, what's wrong?"

Alin shouted at him angrily: "You, you bastard!"

Later, Alin Lin never saw the beggar again, nor could he pay him back the dollar he owed him...

Long or short, fat or thin, you can choose...~~~~~~~~~

p>

Hope to adopt it...