A potential joke

20 10 Spring Festival Evening sketch comic dialogue classic funny sentences

Crosstalk Drama Don't Let Him Go —— Feng Gong, Yan Xuejing, Cecilia Han and Shao Feng

You look too arbitrary.

That's not as good as your looks. This photo is too ugly. ...

Don't yell at me, dad. I just bought a stock recently. .

He's not singing, he's lonely!

I am a descendant of Lei Feng. My name is Ren Lei.

Don't worship me, I'm just a legend.

My mother asked me to go home to eat vegetables!

When I'm alone ... there's the sound of sheep. I said, can you speak some human languages?

Liu Qian and Dong Qing, this conversation must not go deep!

Liu Qian: "Miss Dong Qing, are you hard?"

Dong Qing: "... well, it's hard!"

Liu Qian: "Where do you want me to go through?"

Dong Qing: "... in the middle!"

……

Dong Qing: "Liu Qian, here we go again ~"

……

Dong Qing: "(Liu Qian) Great!"

Dong Qing: "Not for a year. Your hands are getting more and more flexible ... that's great. "

In a word, Guo

My daughter-in-law, legally ... illegally called mistress!

Where did it go? I'm going to ... live together before marriage tomorrow.

Friends get together and help each other lie.

We can't embarrass China people in front of fake foreigners. Fake foreigners are from China!

Who do you talk to-Jiang Kun, Dai Zhicheng and Zhao Jinsheng?

Why do you have to worry about the incubation period?

I call you Ma Ji, do you dare to promise?

Two tigers are not allowed in one mountain. There is only one possibility for two tigers to be compatible, one male and one female.

Lightning and thunder, movie stars fighting, Chen Cang goes to bed early and gets up early, longing for the fire. He couldn't stand the humiliation of his crotch and decided to shoot at it.

With rice, parallel imports?

H 1N 1 viruses can mutate, and it is not unusual for people to look like this!

The species of animals are decreasing, while the species of human beings are increasing.

You see, my eyes are like the sun Hong Lei, and my mouth is like Sebrina. I am the son of Ping Cui and Yu Zecheng.

Now there are two gold bars here. Can you tell me which is noble and which is obscene?

There is a victory called retreat. There is a kind of failure called occupation.

My gift is like being pregnant. The longer I stay, the more I feel something in my stomach.

Don't hang yourself on a tree, try several times on several nearby trees. ...

You are classic, I am fashionable; You are the Internet, I am the firewall, you like sheep, and I am the wolf.

Prose "Beautiful Embarrassment" —— Huang Hong, Lin Yongjian, Jin Yuting and Gong Hanlin

I've been divorced eight times like this!

(Wedding photo) It is safe to keep it at home to ward off evil spirits.

I haven't had plastic surgery before. When I go shopping with you, don't hold your hand for fear of hurting my self-esteem. Holding your hand hurts my self-esteem. ...

Girl, that's plastic surgery. You're disfigured!

People spend Valentine's Day with their lovers. When people see me and you, they say you see how filial Lao Huang is, with his mother.

Before your plastic surgery, people said your mother was so young!

Instead of hanging from a tree, try to protest strongly on the next tree several times: how classic it is that TV dramas are interrupted during commercial hours, and how thrilling it used to be. Four shots, five shots, six shots, and maybe a machine gun.

First-class first-class first-class, add up to I am third-rate.

Fifty Yuan —— Zhou Jintang and Yin Beichen

I think their Spring Festival Evening program "Recruitment" is also very funny!

Pia Pia Pia made me the mascot of the Year of the Tiger.

Nine-year compulsory education is effective.

A wife forced her husband to go out to spend flowers ~ ~

I like your evil look!

"Come on, graduates"-Guo Da and Cai Ming

Not Guo Xiaoda, but Avatar!

What are potatoes afraid of? It's not like bandits are chasing you.

Why haven't we talked about the six-party talks? ...

If I run away, I am a puppy, what should I do? The streets are full of puppies. How do I know it's just you?

Your father is out!

You'd better have a look. You'd better not watch it.

Essay "I can't let him go"

Performances: Feng Gong, Yan Xuejing, etc.

Feng Gong's classic lines:

The rooster's tail is shaking. He married his daughter-in-law and forgot the dog.

You are 290. 250 plus 38 plus 2 is exactly 290.

A tailor who doesn't want to be a chef is by no means a good driver.

Dare to steal money today, and dare to steal others tomorrow. This is a one-stop thing.

Yan Xuejing: Look at your appearance. You are too free.

Feng Gong: You look as if you can do whatever you want. It won't happen again

Prose "One Word"

Performance: Guo,

Guo advised his wife: If you test a lie with a lie, you will get a lie.

A word, a word can be achieved, a word can be bad, can it be sunny.

Crosstalk with whom?

Achievements: Jiang Kun, Dai Zhicheng, etc.

Jiang Kun: You are always Jiang Kun and Jiang Kun. Can you change your name to something else?

Dai Zhicheng: Nonsense, I call you Ma Ji. Do you dare to promise?

Can't stand the humiliation of his crotch, and resolutely pat his crotch.

Prose "Beautiful Embarrassment"

Performances: Huang Hong, Jin Yuting and Lin Yongjian.

Huang Hong boasted that his wife was particularly beautiful after plastic surgery: how classic it looks now, and how thrilling it turns out.

Who says an ugly wife is the treasure of the family, and a beautiful wife is better?

Huang Hong recalled his wife's ugliness in the past: Let's take to the streets without holding your hand. You hurt your self-esteem. Hold your hand. I hurt my self-esteem.

After Huang Hong comforted his wife, he could hit a good shot: after four shots, he could hit five shots; after five shots, he could hit six shots; maybe he could hit a full machine gun.

Prose "Family with Graduates"

Performance: Guo Da, Cai Ming

Guo Da: Potatoes can be preserved forever, but only one kind can be preserved forever.

Cai Ming: Rotten!

Cai Ming said to a college student: College students chat to fight for knowledge.

Essay "Donation"

Performances: Zhao Benshan, Little Shenyang, Wang Xiaoli, etc.

Wang xiaoli explained the relationship with Zhao Benshan: farming together, two people in partnership, and I don't care about you except my wife.

Wang xiaoli complained about Zhao Benshan: "I just wanted to have a home, but I was homeless again!" "

Wang Xiaoli was annoyed that he had something to say in front of reporters: "It's still live, I think it's live!"

After learning that Zhao Benshan donated money to widows, Wang Xiaoli berated Zhao Benshan: "You used to fetch water for widows in the village and donate money to widows outside the village. You will have the fate of a widow in your life! "

You are really a pickpocket. A kebab can drink eight bottles of beer, and a kebab can spray sparks. (Describe people searching)

The back waves of the Yangtze River push the front waves, and the generation is longer than the generation! (To describe a long face, Zhao Benshan's sketches often talk about people's faces: what a pig's waist face, a shoehorn face and so on. )

Search you both like sogou did. Sogou is going to be a rotten dog. This advertisement makes people smell stinky! )

What an American! Didn't you borrow money from us this year? (Economic crisis, people who don't understand certainly don't understand! )

You want money to save face, I want a wife! (big truth)

Q: What do you think of donation? A: I am worthy of the righteousness above home!

My realm is high and my blood pressure is high!

San Mao Hulu Wa Transformers ... Why are they all children? Can an adult do something like you!

Thanks to the Central Meteorological Observatory ... thank you for asking why. ...

I donated money and a father. ...

We are like two pieces of dry wood. Your body burned up, and then you peed to get me out.