Marry a black joke

In the marriage of parents' generation, parents are mostly from their own town or county, and rarely find people from other provinces. With the opening of the concept of marriage and the increase of personnel mobility, there are couples from different cities and provinces everywhere, and even many transnational marriages have been born. At least in our daily life, cross-border love and cross-border marriage are rare and common, but the proportion of cross-border marriage is still negligible in the whole marriage sample, but when they are really with foreigners,

Recently, I heard that an old couple fell out with their daughter in the neighborhood next door, because her daughter was going to marry a foreigner, but her parents didn't agree, and her daughter stubbornly insisted on marrying her foreign boyfriend. So recently, the family is very restless, and the story is roughly like this:

This daughter met another international student in our school when she was studying abroad. This foreign student comes from a country in Africa. After being together for a long time, I naturally fell in love for a long time, but my daughter was worried that her parents couldn't accept it at once, so she didn't tell her parents that she had found a foreign boyfriend when she first fell in love with her boyfriend, until they were together for almost a year and graduated in less than a year. My daughter just came home and told her parents that she talked about a foreign black boyfriend at school, but she said: My boyfriend decided to stay at home and fight for himself after graduation, and told her parents the news just to dispel their parents' worries about their long marriage.

But the parents didn't have the patience to listen, and directly interrupted and threatened to disagree with their daughter's lover, even though her foreign boyfriend agreed to stay in China and fight with her daughter after graduation. They can't accept that their daughter has found such a foreign boyfriend and will go out later. Neighbors will definitely take this as a talk, point fingers behind her back and let her think more about the consequences.

However, this daughter is not a good girl. It seems that she is determined to marry a foreign boyfriend after graduation, and thinks that her parents are unreasonable: First, it is not too far to marry; Second, the boyfriend is really good to himself, not as miserable as he thinks; Third, love is your own business. Parents should respect their marriage and hope to get their parents' blessing instead of unreasonable opposition.

Of course, parents are not so easily persuaded. Parents naturally have their own reasons: First, there are so many people in China, why do they need foreigners? Second, love is love, and marriage is life, two different things, we China people and their customs, culture, diet and so on. There is a huge difference. If you can't live in the future, as a divorced woman, she is very passive in the local area and it is difficult to remarry. Third, the daughter is born and raised by herself. As a parent, she certainly has the right to give advice and guidance on her daughter's marriage and will never sit idly by.

Finally, parents said that while there is still time, I hope my daughter can cut the gordian knot quickly, go back and separate from the so-called foreign boyfriend, and find a domestic partner in the future. I really can't. I can go on a blind date after graduation. Anyway, you are going to marry her foreign boyfriend, and as a parent, you will definitely not let go.

Parents and daughters have so different opinions that neither of them will give in. In the end, the two sides have been deadlocked in the Cold War, which naturally became the talk of neighbors after dinner, and their views on this matter are also different.

Foreign-related marriages still need to be cautious and face up to the huge gap between the two sides rationally.

Although the last article has explained that foreign-related marriages are really common now, we should also see the other side of foreign-related marriages. Compared with domestic marriage, the divorce rate of foreign-related marriage is far greater than that of domestic marriage. Most of the reasons are because the two sides can't tolerate the huge differences in culture, personality, diet and customs. Each other. This huge difference can only be gradually highlighted when they get along for a long time. When it is found that foreign-related marriage is not as beautiful as expected, it is often difficult at that time.

In fact, whether it is a foreign-related marriage or a domestic marriage, the status of both parties is basically the same when they are in love. Due to the psychological "halo effect", people in love will only see each other's bright spots in their eyes, often turning a blind eye to each other's shortcomings, and even it is difficult to find them rationally. Therefore, people will be particularly impulsive in making decisions during their love. Even if the external resistance is great, this impulse will even break through all obstacles, in your own heart.

But in fact, we can't deny that this huge difference between the two sides exists objectively and will enlarge with the passage of time, which is why many couples in foreign-related marriages have not even survived the so-called seven-year itch, their feelings have already turned red, their contradictions have reached an irreconcilable state, and finally they parted ways.

Here, I remember there was a news before. A China woman fell in love with a black African who worked there, and both of them were married and had children. This woman is also willing to live in Africa with her husband. If nothing else, it was only later that she discovered that the local law stipulated that a man could marry more than one wife, and her own African husband had already married and had children in his hometown. This is unbearable and unimaginable to us, but it is reasonable and normal in her husband's eyes. Finally, it is time.

This also reminds us that when we decide to marry a foreigner, these realistic factors must be taken into account, and we can't plunge into the whirlpool of marriage under the impulse of love. Once we think badly, our future marriage life will inevitably bring us endless troubles.

Marriage is the union of two families. Married to love, you can't abandon your family.

Although freedom of love and marriage is advocated now, love is the combination of two people and marriage is the combination of two families. Therefore, when we consider our marriage, we should also consider the role played by the family. If you blindly ask your family to respect love and ask them to make way for love, isn't it selfish to some extent?

Being able to abandon all affection for the so-called love may not prove the greatness of love, but it can prove our contempt for affection. On the one hand, we are parents who have worked hard to support ourselves for decades, and on the other hand, we are boyfriends who are attracted by the opposite sex. Although we do not advocate emotional kidnapping, we cannot kidnap love with family ties, because this will probably sacrifice our happiness in the next few decades, but this does not mean that we can kidnap family ties in turn with the concept of freedom of marriage when pursuing love.

When love and affection conflict, we can actually take many measures, including touching our parents with sincerity and sincerity. But in short, when dealing with the relationship between the two, don't put them in opposition, which will not only be detrimental to the development of love, but also make family ties in a stalemate and cold war state. Using intelligent means to balance the relationship between the two is the key point we should pay attention to.

Some marriages are destined to go through disputes and pains, but before that, we are often powerless.

In fact, truth is truth, but reality is another aspect. Especially in the face of emotional contradictions, the authorities turn a blind eye to outsiders. Parents who have experienced many things can clearly predict the future trend and will seriously teach their children the advantages and disadvantages. Parents hope to use their own personal experience to prevent their children from falling into the pit.

But the problem is that many times children are young and energetic, and they either don't listen to their parents' stern advice or perfunctory their parents' good intentions. In short, children often like to act according to their own ideas and styles. They don't want to be their parents' dolls. The more parents object, the more rebellious the children are. Many children boast that they are adults and have the IQ and right to decide their future life freely, but not only in the eyes of their parents, but also in the eyes of outsiders.

Only when children really hit the south wall can they know the pain and the regret when they look back. However, there is no regret medicine in the world. Some pains seem to be what they have to bear, just like some children didn't study hard when they were young, and parents painstakingly taught their children the importance of learning. After they fail to enter the university, they can only engage in some low-level occupations. Now, instead of studying, they have to bear all the hardships of society. However, many children don't listen and still indulge themselves. Only when you really can't get into college and go to the society and hit a wall everywhere will you find that your ability can't support your ambition at all. The original oath was just wishful thinking.

Many parents will encounter this situation when consulting their children's marital affairs. When they are unable to dissuade them, only when their children are really in pain will they remember their parents' original advice and face the reality. Before that, it seemed that some marriages were doomed to be teased and tortured by fate, and their children were blindly infatuated, but their parents could do nothing. This is a heartbreaking helplessness!