Funny copywriting that makes people happy

1. You always complain that your husband is incompetent, why don’t you blame yourself for not having the vision in the first place?

2. There are thousands of beautiful girls. If it doesn’t work, let’s change. Hanging from a tree is not a hero!

3. The career belongs to the country, the honor belongs to the unit, the achievements belong to the leader, the salary belongs to the wife, the property belongs to the children, and only mistakes belong to oneself.

4. When I was a child, I saw my father working very hard, so I secretly made up my mind: I will definitely stop working when I grow up.

5. I have changed. I used to only want to spend money for myself, but now I only want to spend money for the people I like. The only thing that didn't change was that I had no money.

6. I remember when I was in junior high school, my head teacher called me a shit stirrer, and then everyone in the class burst into laughter. I didn’t understand what those shits were laughing at?

7. "You will gain weight if you can't find a partner." "Why?" "Because I am so sad that I can only eat food and wait."

8. If it weren't for you , suddenly broke into my life...I still have more than two hundred left at the end of the month, and it's only the beginning of the month, how do you want me to live...

9. A man was about to jump off a building, and his wife said: "Dear, We still have a long way to go..." As soon as he finished speaking, the man jumped down. The policeman next to him said with tears: "You really shouldn't have threatened him. What a good person, just gone..."

10. Before I met you, my world was black and white. After meeting you, wow, it was all dark.

11. I dreamed last night that a child asked me for help. Me: "How can I save you?" The child: "As long as someone asks you to borrow money, just don't borrow it." Today, my best friend called me to borrow money to have an abortion!

12. A person likes to wear his vest inside out. One day he was riding a motorcycle and accidentally got into a car accident. He was fine at the time. An old woman saw the letter and his head was turned upside down, so she turned his head around alive.

13. The one riding the white horse may not be a prince, but may be Tang Monk; the one with wings may not be an angel, it may be a birdman!

14. My wife was looking in the mirror: "Oh, why have I gained weight again, and my face has wrinkles? Husband, please praise me, let me find my confidence!" I thought for a while: " You are very smart, you have found a husband who is short-sighted!”

15. While cooking, China Unicom called me. Knowing that nothing was wrong, I asked my son to answer the phone. Sure enough, he was selling phone rate packages! The son replied decisively: "My mother cooks by herself, there is no need to customize any set meal!"

16. Son: "Dad, I failed the art exam this time." Dad: "Why?" Son : "The teacher asked everyone to draw fish, and everyone drew fish swimming in the water. Only I drew a squid on a sizzling plate."

17. It's past nine o'clock in the evening, and the barbecue stall hasn't come out yet. "Where is the boss? I've been waiting for you for a long time." "Brother, I set up a barbecue stall and I have always been relatively free. But since you became a regular customer, I have become a working person." Okay, I am a bit on time. !

18. My wife keeps nagging me. I said you can’t stop talking, but she just keeps nagging. I couldn't help but fart, and then she covered her nose and left. sigh! Now talking is actually less effective than farting.

19. Mom asked: "What would you do if mom was blind?" Xiao Ming said: "I would stand at the door of the house with a knife." Mom asked: "Why?" Xiao Ming said: "Your father secretly brought the aunt next door to your house even if you weren't blind. If you were blind, your father would be in trouble! I have to stop you."

20. I work just for money, don't talk about your ideals with me , my ideal is: not to go to work!

21. In the canteen, Xiao Ming found eggs in the porridge. She happily said to the cook aunt: "The school finally pays attention to the food in the canteen. The egg porridge is good, tastes good and nutritious." The aunt shook her head and said: "No, I forgot to wash the pot today."

22. When I went to the street with my husband, my husband suddenly asked: "Why are there no homeless people in our county?" I thought calmly for a while and said: "That's because homeless people only live in first- and second-tier cities. They can't afford it, but they don't care about our small county!" Speaking of which, I felt sad!

23. When I was a child, I thought that when I grew up, I would look back and smile. When I grow up, looking back and smiling at Baimei is worse than death.

24. It rained outside after get off work today.

A colleague asked: "Did you bring an umbrella?" I said: "Why don't you bring an umbrella? I have a car." My colleagues looked at me in astonishment, and then I pushed my bicycle and walked away wearing a raincoat...