Please tell me some things to pay attention to when talking to others

Just as there are techniques for talking, there are also taboos for talking. We cannot be satisfied with how many skills we know or have mastered. We must also carefully pay attention to the taboos in conversation and try to avoid accidentally entering minefields.

1. Avoid chattering

The first impression of people who love to complain is like beggars begging along the street. When they meet people, they say "My fate is so bad" when they open their mouth, and "My job makes me very annoyed" when they don't talk about it. They confide and lament to others the countless little things and endless troubles in their daily life. In fact, everyone has troubles in life, and what obligation do others have to waste time listening to your excessive nagging and complaining that can easily ruin your mood? So nagging and complaining can only arouse others' annoyance rather than sympathy.

2． Avoid being boring

There is a type of people who don’t like to be listened to by others, not because they talk too much or chatter endlessly, but because what they say is too boring and boring, without any excitement or surprise. He is often self-talking, with monotonous ideas and boring words. This kind of person does not speak, and once he speaks, people will feel bored.

These words that have no focus, no point of view, are as bland as boiled water will quickly make the listener lose patience.

3． Don't interrupt.

Those who interrupt will always come in when you are happy with what you are saying, catching you off guard and forcing you to retreat midway. He doesn't tell you beforehand that he's going to interrupt. Interjectors sometimes interject themselves into other topics, and sometimes express your conclusions on your behalf to proudly show off their abilities. No matter what the situation is, the person who originally spoke will feel disgusted because the person who interrupts does not know how to respect others.

Perhaps the best way to deal with the interrupter is to put him in the same room with the nagging complainer. In that case, the scene will be wonderful and both of them will get the greatest satisfaction, but they will be more satisfied. boring.

4. Avoid being absent-minded

Absent-minded people seem to be particularly prone to wandering off, and their minds are often wandering. If you tell him something very important or interesting, but he distracts his attention elsewhere, as if his soul has flown elsewhere, his eyes are looking ahead, or he is thoughtful, or suddenly asks: " Oh, where are you talking about?" "What did you just say?" You must feel that you are not interested in talking at all.

Of course, someone may say that it is your fault, or that the things you are talking about make it difficult for him to be interested. However, even so, he cannot be forgiven, because his absent-mindedness is a very rude and hurtful behavior.

5． Avoid being arbitrary and irritable

A person who is arbitrary and irritable is a very impatient and quite conceited person. He always feels that he is right and the problem lies with others. If you ask why or find an explanation, he will irritably silence you with the shortest sentence. What they often say is: "Don't bother me." "That's just the way it is, there's nothing to say."

6. Avoid general preaching

People often subconsciously have a sense of superiority because they have a higher status and age than others. They feel that they have more experience and know better than others, so they are prone to be distracted when talking. Has a preachy tone.

Of course, preaching cannot be completely beaten to death. Sometimes there is correct advice in preaching, but these advices are often not accepted because they have a preachy tone and cause rebellious emotions in the conversation partners. Since you want to persuade and educate others, you should pay attention to how to make others accept your opinions. Therefore, you must avoid being condescending and arrogant. Instead, you must come up with clear, vivid, and vivid examples so that others can accept them convincingly.

The preachers we see often say this: "You must know that I am not interfering with your actions." "I don't like to talk about this kind of thing now." "I think there are many things that are inappropriate to say. "I don't want to say it to you." Or "I probably shouldn't say these words, but I think you will understand the benefits of these words." In fact, the words the preacher says should be based on others' acceptance of the point of view. Thoughts that come naturally from the heart.

However, no matter what the preacher says, it is just empty preaching. It will not achieve any effect, but will arouse people's resistance.

7. Avoid self-bragging

A person who speaks loudly may arouse people's temporary interest. It doesn't hurt to listen to the stories he tells that deviate from the truth when you are tired. And what he tells is often vivid and colorful, with complete stories and ups and downs. It's just that he only talks about one subject, himself. If you pay attention, the same word "I" appears in almost every sentence. This endless repetition of "I" can easily make people lose patience.

People who speak out and brag about themselves will end up giving others the impression of being shallow and ignorant. At the same time, his "self-centeredness" of focusing too much on himself and ignoring others will eventually turn into "self-isolation."

8． Avoid gossiping

Jokes, humor, and anecdotes can be regarded as good social lubricants. However, once they go too far, immersing themselves in those unpleasant and dirty jokes, or making vulgar remarks, they are often considered to lack thinking ability. and shallow knowledge, thereby losing the dignity of one's personality.

Due to the lack of healthy and noble sentiment guidance, people with low taste often like to pay attention to boring trivial matters and like to inquire about other people's secret anecdotes, sometimes to increase the information for their chat, sometimes to satisfy their needs. curiosity. Such people will also add fuel to these secrets and anecdotes, and then spread them out, taking pleasure in and being proud of them.

For this kind of gossiping person, when he asks you a question, you'd better not answer him directly, just use a roundabout way to let him realize that his question is just nonsense.

9. Avoid making fuss out of molehills

People who like to make fuss out of molehills often put a lot of time and energy into something that is very small and inappropriate. If he was asked to tell an encounter, he would take 5 or even 10 times the time to tell his story. You listen to him talk for a long time, and when you are confused by his many unnecessary and rambling details, you may not hear the key points of the story he tells. If you want to grasp the outline of the story while he is telling it, ask him: "Hey, what about the woman in the gray trench coat you are talking about?" He will still answer you in an understatement: "Don't worry, I'm about to talk about her, please listen to me first." Then he went on to say a lot of irrelevant things.

If the fussy author could see that the people listening to his story were so patient because of politeness, then he would definitely finish what he wanted to say before speaking. If he can tell that the other person is not interested in the story, he will also use various efforts to tell the story more compactly. Unfortunately, they are never aware of the audience's reaction.

10． Avoid talking to oneself

Conversation is a matter between two people and should form a kind of communication. However, those who talk to themselves often only talk about their own side of things. He doesn't care whether others accept it or not, or turns a deaf ear to what others say, he only cares about what he says. People who talk to themselves generally have good tempers, but they think that what they are interested in must also be of interest to others.

If we encounter such a self-talker, how should we deal with it? It's best to try your best to divert the conversation to other directions and not give him a chance to talk to himself. At the same time, after we have finished saying what we need to say, we politely leave.

11. Avoid being stubborn

Obstinate people are a group of very stubborn people, and we simply don’t know what to do to make them change or to admit their mistakes. No matter what others say or do, they can never waver from the opinions he thinks are right. This kind of person often likes to argue, not because he is arguing for the truth, but because he just wants to consolidate his unique opinions. Even if he clearly failed, he still refused to admit it and remained stubborn.

It is difficult to have a casual and relaxed atmosphere when talking to someone who is stubborn. He talked about a particular topic and then turned to another topic. However, when he suddenly thought of what he wanted to say, he interrupted you again and returned to the previous topic.

What he wanted to say was not a new concept or opinion. It was just that the special topic he talked about before was not enough or outstanding, so he wanted to talk about it again.

There is a difference between a stubborn person and a person who talks to himself. A person who talks to himself may have a good temper and be knowledgeable, and take into account the causes and consequences when speaking. The stubborn person is just stubborn. He is often selfish, even more selfish than the boastful person. The best way to deal with this kind of person and stop him talking is to bet something with him.

12． Avoid being smart

There is a type of people who always feel that they are smarter than others and pretend to know everything. Therefore, in terms of speech and behavior, they always think that what others say is not good or thoughtful. In fact, my own opinions are not very clever, or they are simply wrong, which makes people both funny and angry.

People who think they are smart are often very talkative. They always think that their opinions are better than anyone else's. They like to shout everywhere with a loud voice and show off their ability to know everything. What to do with a guy like this? There are ways, and the best way is to give him a silent treatment. Don't say a word or show any expression at that time, just act as if this guy isn't there. After doing this a few times, the smart-aleck will become really smart and feel ignored and shut up.

13. Avoid speaking without telling the truth

People who speak without telling the truth rarely speak accurately. They are either inconsistent with the facts themselves, or they say one thing and do another. If things go on like this, it is easy to lose the trust of others.

Sometimes, what a person who tells the truth is not entirely a lie. More often, it is true, but the words are different when they come out of his mouth, or There may be exaggeration or fiction. Therefore, for people who tell the truth, you'd better just listen to them and do your own investigation and verification when necessary to obtain true and accurate information.

14. Avoid harsh language

Some people seem to be particularly sharp-tongued, aggressive, and aggressive, often accompanied by cynicism and merciless remarks. In fact, they are just harsh in their words. This kind of people are often called "knife-mouthed".

People who are mean-mouthed often lose the friendship and trust of others just because of one word. It is best for people to love each other equally. Why should we use harsh words like a knife to hurt people's hearts? However, it seems difficult for a person who speaks harshly to change this way of speaking. This is related to his character and cultivation. Such people are often cold, selfish and unfeeling.

15． Avoid going crazy in debates

Some people talk as if they are just to debate with others. They are not arguing for the sake of truth, but just arguing for the sake of debate. No matter what others say or how they say it, he always comes up with different or opposite views to confront others, which seems to be very interesting. Such people are called debaters.

The debating maniac's nature is to turn every conversation into a debate and never control his aggressive nature during the debate. "You're wrong here." "Ah! That's where you made the mistake." These are all words that debaters love to say. In his opinion, everyone enjoys participating in debates. Arguing like crazy will scare away the friends around him.