How to deal with a man with an affair (facing a husband with an affair)

The word "derailment", which originated from the train overturning accident in railway traffic, has become synonymous with "betraying your partner" in the sense of modern sociology.

The occurrence rate of this word in today's society is so high that it can be seen from the popular TV series in recent years: "Dwelling House", "My First Half Life" and "Husband and Wife World"-which one has not cheated?

In these hit dramas, the betrayed wife is either forbearing or being cruel to her cheating husband. In my opinion, the characters Du in the novel Bath published by Mr. Jiang Yang 1988 and the sequel After Bath published in 20 14 are far from being handled beautifully.

Many people will be attracted by Yao Mi after reading Mr. Jiang Yang's novel Bath. I don't think so. It is indeed an educated figure bred from China's classical culture, but I prefer Du who dares to love and do, although she is a bit tacky!

According to the description in the book, Du Lilin came from the era of Mr. Jiang Yang. But what I see in her is completely the characteristics of modern women, especially the attitude towards love, marriage, and especially her husband's infidelity. She was dignified and self-respecting, and finally got her own happiness!

Understand the marriage of people around you and make up your mind to find your own happiness. Li Lin was born in a businessman's family, and her father is the big boss of Tianjin Yufeng Commercial Bank-the big capitalist! The above two brothers are also successful businessmen, but their mother died early, but their father, brother and even stepmother are very kind to Li Lin. Li Lin is tall and handsome, good-looking, good at grooming and sociability, so she has the title of "standard beauty"!

Li Lin has been a rich and beautiful rich second generation since he was a child!

However, this beautiful young lady is not disabled. Li Lin has been observing the world since he was a child. She saw:

"chop and change-I used to think that only my brother-in-law was like that-my sister always turned a blind eye. There are many beautiful women in Hong Kong. I guess they are still the same now. Second sister has been divorced twice and now lives at home with a daughter. It seems that she will never find a husband as good as her heart. She knows that she is a burden to her family, just an unnecessary person, and she will only swallow it when she is angry.

Isn't it a delicate and transparent person who can observe the woman at home from such a clear perspective?

After observing it, she has her own ideas: I am also fighting for breath, not relying on my family or my husband!

This is what Du said in the thirties and forties! After 80 years, who is more conscious of modern women than those girls who are bent on marrying rich people? !

Women in the thirties

Therefore, Li Lin has been teaching herself. Even though she was not very clever, she didn't go to Tianjin University after graduating from high school, but she didn't give up. I crammed for a year, took another exam, entered the missionary university in Shanghai, and then went to study abroad. As a result, I "have two famous foreign degrees":

Don't hang these two framed English certificates in her living room! Bachelor's card and master's card, with photos on them, can be described as genuine.

Hang your degree certificate in the photo frame in the living room-it may look a bit tacky and flashy, but in that era when women didn't read much, when others didn't know your background, didn't it make people convinced immediately? ! No, even the great leader Christine has to admit that Li Lin's knowledge is true!

You know, before liberation, not all wealthy businessmen's wives loved reading! Now how many people, like some girls, plan to marry a rich man! Ge in Zhang Ailing's "Aquilaria Fragrant-The First Furnace of Fragrance" married the prodigal George, who was not even rich at home, for a luxurious life!

However, Du, who was born in a rich family, has long seen the truth that marriage is only "money" from his sister. So, du was determined:

I don't want to marry a dude, I don't want to marry a young man, I want to marry a scholar with knowledge and character!

When she saw Xu Yancheng, who had outstanding academic performance and was disheveled, but just like the protagonist in a western novel read by a girl in a church, she decided that this was the person she was looking for. Before Xu Yancheng was about to study abroad, she proposed!

Strive for your own happiness-completely a symbol of modern women!

When we were young, we didn't understand love: a marriage without love was born with defects. However, the marriage that Li Lin actively pursues lacks a foundation. After all, we didn't understand love when we were young.

Li Lin's favorite scholar, Xu Yancheng, is really learned and has a lot of personality, but this scholar was forced by his mother to marry a child bride and have a grandson! When Du proposed, the scholar regarded her as a "chivalrous woman" to save herself, and had no love for her, only sincere gratitude-which laid a hidden danger for their marriage.

They have been married for five years. Although they had children as soon as they got married, they didn't spend much time together because they studied in the United States and Britain for four years respectively. During the time together, Xu Yancheng is an easy-going and good husband. They decorated their new home. He listened to her and tidied it up, and worked very hard.

However, Li Lin's feeling is very keen:

There seems to be a hard core between them; Yancheng's heart is a kernel wrapped in a core, which she can't touch or stick to.

Xin Li, a famous Chinese medicine scholar and expert, once said: We all think that what excites us is love. However, healthier love is simple and calm. After seeing her, you will be very happy and attracted to each other.

Obviously, from the beginning, her husband Xu Yancheng never had such love for her, and Xu Yancheng never said to her: I love you.

Of course, this nerd husband is also honest. When Li Lin proposed to him, he faced Li Lin: Do you love me? He answered honestly: I really don't know. I've never had experience.

It is true to save the marriage with dignity. If Xu Yancheng has never met Yao Mi in his life, he may not know the kind of love that is "simple and calm, and you will be happy and attracted to each other after meeting her".

This kind of love is a spiritual fit and a book-like attraction. "They feel that they have known each other for a thousand years and have known each other for several lifetimes." (I won't discuss Xu Yancheng and Yao Mi here, but I'll write an article later. )

However, Li Lin didn't see the wrong person, and Xu Yancheng was indeed a man of backbone-he didn't do anything more outrageous, although he would impulsively think of climbing Xiangshan with Yao Mi, but after calming down, he took the initiative to invalidate the proposal; Although Yao Mi also said "I am willing to be your Fangfang" for "just asking him not to be disabled", their most intimate action was that her face rested on his knee and his hand rested on her arm. At that time, it was also time for them to make a thorough decision.

Whether he felt the ambiguity between Xu and Yao with his own feelings or saw the so-called "intimacy" between them with his own eyes, Du's performance was rational and restrained.

She clearly pointed out to her husband that he was in love with Yao Mi, and also explicitly asked him to be sincere with her and be more alert to his whereabouts. Although, from the husband's point of view, she is controlling him, but isn't this the wife saving their marriage?

What's more, Du never evaded questions. She knows very well that her husband is in "spiritual love" with her, because Du can "smile in your eyes".

I have to admit that this kind of smile in the eyes is the feedback between souls. However, it was Xu Yancheng who went to Yao Mi, not Li Lin.

However, Du gave her husband enough face. She even expressed her opinion through the incident of "Fangfang was arrested and raped": "Mr. Zhu, tell your wife that even if she knows it's you, she should stand by and prove that it's not you."

Even after seeing the so-called "intimate relationship" between her husband and Yao Mi, she even remembered to bring a box of chocolates because her daughter likes them.

Looking at my husband's "review" draft that does not meet the organizational requirements, I secretly worry about him; Listening to my husband's stuttering review, I am nervous for him.

In fact, she is really a good wife. However, it is not suitable for Xu Yancheng.

Isn't Du sad?

She will cry, but she will "carefully wipe the tears on her cheeks with a handkerchief instead of her eyes to avoid redness." She didn't want outsiders to know. She likes saving face. "

Yes, this proud woman is afraid of being laughed at by others and even quarrels with her husband in English.

After reading this, I only feel sorry for this strong woman. I really want to wipe her tears and tell her that "a strong woman will be happy if she is not sad."

In the new life situation, keep your eyes open and explore true love, the relationship between Yao and Xu was stopped soberly and rationally by Yao. Life is still going on, and Li Lin's well-behaved attitude allows her to pass the "bath" smoothly. However, when leaders are labeled as "big Rightists", those who follow them also become "Rightists"! Therefore, Li Lin was beaten to the right and sent to the countryside for reform.

Letting go is naturally bitter, but there are also new people and things. Here, Li Lin met two people who fell in love with her

This time, instead of the silly girl who fell in love with the brain, Li Lin carefully observed and even personally tested these two people. Sure enough, a glib, rude, can touch a person's chest in the dark; The other not only correctly judged that the local wolf was a wild wolf, but also explicitly told Li Lin not to go to a hidden place with anyone at dark.

Li Lin finally met a person who loves him, and she loves him-Ye Dan! Moreover, this person is rational, decisive and smart. The key is that he loves her and cherishes her. They have the same work experience, supported each other in difficulties, and have similar judgments on the status quo-this time, she also has her own mentally compatible partner.

In the face of true love, she didn't escape. When she returned to Beijing again and met Xu Yancheng for the first time, she filed for divorce!

Such a clean, tidy and brave figure is Du.

In-depth analysis of the marriage between Du and Xu Yancheng Looking back at the failed marriage between Du and Xu, Xu Yancheng, as the "refuge" of his marriage, naturally bears the greatest responsibility, but also has the responsibility.

First of all, Suhomlinski said: If you "get married in a hurry", you are willing to take the risk of becoming an unfortunate person.

And I married myself to Xu in such a hurry.

When I proposed to Xu, it was the Lunar New Year. That's Xu's senior year, his junior year. Before that, they didn't have any private intersection. They met because they were both famous-one was a "standard beauty" and the other was outstanding in academic performance!

On the basis of such feelings, they got married that winter vacation.

Secondly, neither of them really loves each other.

Xu Yancheng was honest from the beginning. He has no love for Li Lin, only sincere gratitude.

As for Li Lin, although Li Lin has always felt that she loves Xu Yancheng, for Li Lin, Xu Yancheng she loves is actually a girl who loves spring, and her longing for a beautiful love and marriage life is an "illusion". The girlhood Li Lin looked at Xu Yancheng like this:

She (Li Lin) is a very good student. She studies very hard, and her grades are only between middle school and upper school. She worships the learned doctor wholeheartedly-the hero in western novels: tall, dark and handsome. Although Xu Yancheng is not a doctor, Du thinks he is. Although he is untidy in clothes, in Du's eyes, he looks like the hero in a western novel.

Just as Lin once commented on Xu Zhimo's love for her: "Xu Zhimo didn't really love me at first, but he imagined Lin with the romantic mood of the poet."

And this marriage is based on Li Lin's fantasy love for Xu Yancheng!

When fantasy love meets true love, everything is like a beautiful soap bubble, blowing in the wind.

However, all this cannot be denied. Li Lin is a girl who has her own opinions and bravely pursues love!

However, life needs constant learning, including learning: what is love and what I love!

Life is a journey of constantly searching for love. Marx said: If you want to live a happy life, only two people can combine, because half a ball can't be rolled up, so the important task of every adult is to find the right half.

Many people, including Xu Yancheng and his family, and even Mrs. Yao think it is tacky. Perhaps, born in a businessman's family, I always judge the form and follow it closely. This kind of advancing with the times sometimes does seem "kitsch".

Li Lin's "vulgarity" and Xu Yancheng, who was born in a scholarly family and devoted himself to studying, could not merge into a perfect and suitable ball after all.

Life, as Xu Yancheng said: I have no experience.

However, who has the experience of life?

Our experience determines that our understanding of love and ourselves will be wrong in stages. Not all people are as lucky as Mr Qian Zhongshu and Mr Jiang Yang. They can find their soul mates in the sea of people at a glance.

Most people's love will have twists and turns.

However, if a woman is financially independent, has her own, loves others rationally and self-esteem, and loves herself; Let go if love is not there; Love is coming, accept it bravely-she will be happy.

Du is such a modern woman!

This article was originally written by @ jingjingjingjing, and has been confirmed by the rights protection knight. If there is manuscript piracy, the whole network will investigate it!