A joke for my girlfriend.

1, Dave: Today, a man fell on his back in the street, causing people around him to laugh. I'm the only one who can't laugh. Wife: I didn't expect you to be quite sympathetic. Husband: I was the one who fell!

The wife always loses her temper with her husband and yells at him, thinking that he earns less money. Whenever this happens, her husband always gets up and leaves home. Where are you going? The wife asked. I go to the tax bureau. The husband replied. Why are you in such a hurry? Because I don't like what you say, I will hear the opposite at the tax office.

The wife and husband quarreled because of lack of money. The husband lost the quarrel and said angrily, "only women and villains are hard to support!" " The wife is stupefied: "Who said this?" The husband proudly said, "Confucius!" The wife disdainfully said, "It seems that his salary is not high either."

4. Husband: Hey! Wife! I find Mrs. Wang next door really annoying. Every time she comes to borrow vinegar, the excuse is to eat crabs. Wife: just so so! We must find a way! Don't make her too arrogant. Husband: Yes! ! Do something ... wife: ah, I see! Let's tell Mrs. Wang that we should be jealous from today and let her lend us some crabs.

Before he died, the husband said to his wife, I'm afraid I can't make it. I'm going to another world soon. Jealous wife reminded me: I hope you don't mess with other women when you get to that world!

6. What time is it? When the husband came home at night, the suspicious wife asked absently. About one o'clock. The husband replied. Just then, the clock struck three times. Oh, he said loudly, when did that clock stutter?

7. Husband: I strongly demand a small change. Now oil has gone up, gas has gone up, and prices have gone up, but my change has not gone up, and neither has the money for alcohol and tobacco. This is unfair. You have to give me something. Wife: Well, my love for you has risen.

8. A beautiful girl confessed to me, but I ruthlessly refused on the spot ... Why? She is not challenging my limit, but challenging my daughter-in-law's limit ... Tell me in front of my daughter-in-law, I am crazy ... Now my daughter-in-law is getting a divorce, what should I do?

9. My wife bought a colorful jacket on Valentine's Day and put it on the next day. As a result, when I passed the doorman at work, the security guard shouted, "Courier, come and register."

10, colleagues in the hospital called Dr. Wu's home: "Three are short of one, come quickly." After hanging up the phone, the wife asked thoughtfully, "What's the matter, the hospital has something so late?" Dr. Wu put on a helpless and reluctant expression and said, "Yes, it's a very critical case. There are already three doctors waiting ... "