Just kidding.

Little girl, give me a smile. If you don't laugh, I'll give you a smile.

The only difference between Superman and me is that I wear underwear underneath.

You know my appetite, and I don't like roast duck, so I can't eat it after eating four, so I said:

I really can't eat. I have to eat when I get home later.

There is also a sign here in heaven: no stalls around 400 meters in heaven!

God sat there smoking.

God said, we must treat it well. It is easy for crosstalk performers to go to heaven these years.

Palm-wide hair care and tattoo with fish.

In "Jin Ping Mei", when the Tang Priest learned the scriptures, ...

When I was not married in my thirties, the matchmaker world in Beijing was a sensation!

Riding on the neck to shit, I dialed dry, I did diarrhea, and he, riding on the neck, pulled dysentery!

Talking about cross talk pays attention to learning and teasing. You can't talk about cross talk when you stutter. For example, when you tell the time, this happens if you stutter. Now when broadcasting to the north ... North ... Beijing. .....

It's ... time ... seven ... seven ... seven o'clock, *, and I looked at my watch. It's already half past eight.

It's not easy in film and television. Those actresses slept with the director in order to get on the stage. I hate this. There are too few female directors ... Where are our actors? There is a play that I think is very suitable, female directors.

More than 30 years old, 2 1 this year. God have mercy on me. It's finally my turn. Go to the director, knock on the door, and it's over. This can't be done.

Why?

The producer is lying in the house.

(... the relevant personnel took him to see the director of the Spring Festival Evening ...)

Let me see, fake!

How is it fake?

Liar! Not even a beard! No beard!

Does the director have to grow a beard?

The middleman said to me, "Don't talk nonsense, the beard has been caught."

(Spring Festival Evening rehearsal, Guo is a substitute)

The opportunity came that day.

What chance?

The crosstalk of 400 people jumped down from a mountain stream at first. A man's parachute is broken. Bang! Luckily, I fell to my death. I immediately went to the director, "I'll do it, I'll do it!

""You are late, and the man who pushed him down has taken his place. "

Doug: Go back and live a good life, monogamy, ah! Go back and live a good life.

Bangbang: Huh? Three people?

Doudou: Yes! One, husband, wife, one wife.

Bang Bang: Oh, such monogamy?

Laughter: Quotations from Degang Guo.

If you don't tell the teacher with a moon cake in your hand, you don't respect the teacher. I used to have to kill my head!

Huh? You don't know me? I am an artist! I have been an artist for more than a week. ...

There are four dishes on the table. Open the first one. Oh! Very good! Old vinegar peanuts! Open the second one, even better! Vinegar flower

Health! Open the third one, peanuts, no vinegar! The fourth one looks like a plate of vinegar!

I want steak, not beef. I love onions. Put more onions!

Open it, it's all money! Treasure, the smallest diamond is only half a catty. ...

"Buy a bottle of mineral water and have a drink-fake!" "How fake? It is mixed with water! "

I also bought a good car-Alto! Fifty carriages are strung together with iron wire and drive like a train.

The young man looks like an actor with his face covered. ...

Do you want to listen, do you want to listen or do you want to listen? I will never insist!

Thank God for the pot.

This brain is as big as a pine nut. When you open your skull, you can cook it in a bowl.

The love between Simon and Jinlian is sincere.

If you are willing to die, I am willing to bury it.

Help if you have difficulties, and help if you don't create difficulties.

The girl looked back and combed her four hairs.

Don't throw away this false tooth, it is still useful. Tie a stick to it as a tickle.

Walking, hey, there is a question mark in front, and Liu Bei jumped up "Teng wait for a while wait for a while". Hey, a mushroom appears. Eat it, Liu.

I have grown taller. I'm still moving forward, and there's another one, a question mark, and when I touch it, a flower will bloom. After eating the flowers, Liu Bei raised his hand. "

Toot, toot, toot, toot, toot, toot. With wings, the tortoise came. ...

What's your name? Ah! What's your name? Stop it! Saying it is a curse!

The armpit smells of cumin.

His sword is cold, his knife is cold, his heart is cold, his blood is cold ... this grandson is frozen!

Interpol appeared on the scene. There was a body, torn to pieces. The captain said, "Qian Er, what do you think?" "It must be suicide!"

The sage taught us not to touch the master's dry food.

I also want to buy a plasma TV. Please ask a friend to leave me one. The size of a wall! Big TV, Motorola brand

Yes! ... no one is watching, and the TV is ringing: the TV you are watching is out of service!

Beijing Evening News 8 1, watching the news, the Gang of Four was smashed.

I am a second-hand scientist!

"The first part is' the wind blows the waves on the water', and what is the second part?" "You are so stubborn, you can't make a copy and post it over there."

Pingju actors should be younger ... the old lady looks like Altman after painting makeup. ......

When President Bush saw me, he said, "What happened to the mud? What happened to the mud? You son of a bitch ... ""Why does Bush talk like that? "

? ""He hired a Henan tutor and thought he was learning Mandarin. "

Four pounds of perfume smells like stealing sheep dung.

Go your own way and say who you want.

Catch a toad and squeeze out melatonin.

"I just smoke a little more frequently. Later, I watched a health program on TV, saying that smoking is harmful to health and easy to die suddenly. Scared me.

Yes One bite and one stamp, and from then on ... ""Quit smoking? " "Don't watch this program. "

I am a scientist. I work in China Academy of Sciences. I hold my scientific instrument in China Academy of Sciences all day. What floor are you on? five

Architecture. Going up and down is very tired, very tired. ...

Go to IOC President Sachima.

Did you bring a knife? I will stab you to death!

Son: "Dad! I'm hungry! " Dad: "Hungry again. Didn't you eat it last year? "

Until I was seventy-five, I met a laid-off worker from Hong Kong and they got married. ...

It is good to listen to cross talk and promote truth, goodness and beauty-Huoxiang Zhengqi.

As soon as the door opened, a golden light shot out of it. Mr Zhang from Zhang Wenshun is dressed in gold and silver.

This suit is made of gold film, a silver shirt and a tie with diamonds. From top to bottom, this pair of leather shoes is human skin.

! Two hands are full of rings, seven catties more than one, alas, these twelve big rings-two hands and six fingers. ...

..... Home is a quilt, as big as a mask. Hold the baby's navel, hold it, baby, stop it.

Son. What about mother-in-law and wife? Oh, is this a death wish? Lie down and I'll go out and get it for you.

The quilt went ... I got two baskets of soil, poured it on my body and rounded it with a shovel. Be careful when you turn over, don't freeze …

... oh, those two women have solved it. Who will bury me? What should I do? I found myself a pillow and a brick.

Head as a pillow, there is a broken water tank at the door, half broken water tank, let me drag it over and be a quilt cover. ...

If you want to eat crabs, take off the lid of the steamed bread.

After we got up, we tied the thief up with a rope. "Come on, kid, admit the punishment." ""you said, yes.

How do you say "admit mistakes and punish"? ""Acknowledgment, Acknowledgment will stew you. " "ah? Then stew me. "oh! He pouted at me.

! "You think I dare not stew you? If we have a pot at home, I will stew you ... "

It is true that there are only turtles in the world, also called turtles.

I rushed into the public toilet and said to the mirror, "Degang Guo, you will succeed. I wish you happiness. " I saw the right one when I went out.

A man came out of his face.

Really, a "crosstalk star" said, "We would rather have an imperfect new one than a perfect old one". This is chaos,

Ignorance is fearless. It's been over 100 years since the end of love, so many old gentlemen regard China language as a burden.

Skill refining of materials, put it here. No matter what jokes you tell, I can find them here for you. What do you use?

This method, you use this method, you don't have to use ready-made ones, you should put it aside and do it alone.

Have you passed on the wisdom of so many old-timers for more than a hundred years? You don't have that great ability. For example, if a chef cooks, you can

Invent new dishes, but at least know what a fried spoon is and what a leaky spoon is. You take a sputum bucket to fry, which is called innovation.

Who the fuck dares to eat? ? ! ? ……

Eyes like meatballs, ears like jiaozi, nose like garlic, hair like a fan and beard like kelp.

Like, bean skin lips, broad bean teeth ...

Old western medicine, how many years!

I like reading. I read Jin Ping Mei when I was young, and I want to be a scientist when I grow up.

Go out to perform cross talk and comfort yourself in an army in Hainan. ...

Who stopped me? I am a grandson!

Mr. Zhang is in Zhang Wenshun, and he has been in poor health recently-SARS, AIDS, cancer ... Anyway, this is just a small disaster. ...

Open your mouth, thanks to two ears, otherwise you can hit the back of your head.

Laughter: Quotations from Degang Guo.

You haven't met my daughter-in-law, beautiful! Tall, with a big face and heavy eyebrows. She has no beard. She wants it.

He has a beard like Zhang Fei.

Take out a golden pen, dazzling, cold and frightening.

This plane is also diesel.

"Excuse me, uncle, how can I get to America?"

"Ask the village chief!"

"He doesn't know the way. From a botanical point of view, he doesn't know the way."

There are more than 1000 traditional cross talks left by the old man. Through the continuous efforts of our actors over the years, up to now,

, basically has been lost. ...

The white one in the White House-freshly brushed pulp.

There are twenty people standing in front of the White House, men and women, and all the bags are ready-reporter! I have to watch my mouth.

Don't be caught by them and embarrass China people. Next, the gang came over: "Master, would you like a plate?

"sell! What do you think the White House Cultural Bureau does for food?

There is a rockery in the White House with a banner below it: Everyone is responsible for family planning.

Listening to cross talk more shows that you are patriotic.

There is a child in our community who can speak seven or eight foreign languages, such as English, Japanese, Korean, Yugoslav and North Slavic.

Language, West Slavic ... Anyway, sitting with Eight-Nation Alliance and cursing for half an hour is not the same.

It's okay. Pancakes and steamed bread are eaten with rice.

What is a golden bell jar and what is iron underpants are hanging out.

I will chop you to death with ginger rice!

Following the teacher's instruction, whenever I hear your righteous words, my heart surges with emotion, hoping to find an evil feeling.

Forced to die with him.

Your shameless appearance has my youthful charm.

One day, the master went down the mountain to dance.

Accidentally met the daughter of his young confidante. From the moment I met her, the master knew his Jianghu career.

It's over. Destined to leave these days when white clothes come and go like snow, the old man decided at the age of 80.

Put on a wig and go secular.

If two kinds of feelings are interdependent, it is not pork and pork.

How many stops is Tieling from America?

The house where I live is riddled with holes. When it rains, it kills me. Rain outside, rain outside, rain outside.

It rained heavily, so the whole family took shelter in the streets. ...

You have a good physique. I can see at a glance that you will live to death.

"Mr. Xing's father Lao Wang said ..."

"Stop it, Master Xing!"

"What? What's his surname? "

"Xing!"

"Your surname is Xing, and he is also Xing. How do you get together?"

"What's this called!"

"What a coincidence!"

Now is the long-awaited advertising time.

Don't you want to drink good tea? Our shoe store specializes in Yunguicha. ...

There is a cross talk of 140 people in the Spring Festival Evening. ...

Ten years in primary school and twelve years in middle school, he was named the most familiar face in the whole school. The new teacher came and asked me for inside information. ...

There are no tickets at the railway station. Thanks to my girlfriend, I found a policeman and asked, "Do you know where the ticket scalper is?" The police said that?

Leya: "I'm looking for it, too!"

Dear child, I haven't been back for a long time. Our family has moved. I won't tell you where it is. Guess!

It was very cold, so I sent you a coat. The post office said it was too heavy, so I hinged the belt buckle down and put it in my pocket.

There is a lovely puppy named Tibetan mastiff. ...

If nothing else, cross talk is educational. Why? Acrobatics, fifteen people riding bicycles.

You violated the traffic rules, you know!