Who can tell me a joke?

A meeting in a village is held in a village. Because of homophonic, the township head said; Rabbits and shrimps, don't burn melons, pickles are too expensive. Comrades and villagers, don't talk. Let's have a meeting now. The host said; Sausage and melon with pickles, please. (Now please speak to the head of the township) The head of the township said; Rabbit, shrimp and dog ate today's meal. Everyone is a turtle. Comrades and villagers, we have enough food today. Let's all use big bowls. Don't be a pickle, I'll pick up a piece of shit and lick it for you. Stop it, I'll tell you a story. ) Someone may eat this shit. Someone may know the story. Don't worry about what you can't eat (don't worry about what you don't know) I'll pull it for you now.

A local Guangdong cadre accompanied foreign cadres to visit the suburbs and said happily, "Looking at the suburbs from the bow, the more beautiful you look." As a result, foreign comrades heard: "Sit on the bed and look at your wife."

A Cantonese went to a restaurant in Beijing for dinner and asked, "Miss, how much is a bowl of jiaozi?" As a result, when the waiter heard "How much is a night's sleep", he angrily scolded the "rogue". I didn't expect the Cantonese to have a poor standard of Mandarin, but he said cheerfully, "Sixty cents? Two bowls! " Tutu said, "My mother calls me Tutu, which is nice!" "

& gt Pig said, "My mother calls me a pig, which is nice!" "

& gt The dog said, "My mother calls me a puppy, which is nice!" "

& gt Chicken said, "You talk, I'll go first!" "

& gt Rabbit said, "I am a rabbit!" "

& gt The pig said, "I am a son of a bitch!" "

& gt Chicken said, "I am a son of a bitch!" "

& gt The dog said, "You talk, I'll go first!" "

& gt0 sparring partner said, "Outsiders call me zero sparring partner, which is nice!"

No.65438 +0 sparring partner said, "It's good to have an outsider!"

& gt No.2 sparring partner said, "It's good for outsiders to call me Second Escort!"

& gt No.3 sparring partner said, "You talk, let's go first!"

& gt The cat said to me, "I'm your grandmother's cat. It's beautiful!" "

& gt The dog said to me, "I'm your grandmother's dog. It sounds nice!" "

& gt Fish said to me, "I'm your grandmother's fish. It sounds nice!" "

& gt Bear said, "You talk, I'll go first!" "

& gt Lang Ke said, "People call me a ronin, which is very nice!"

& gt The samurai said, "It's nice to be called a samurai!"

& gt The expert said, "It's nice to be called an expert!" "

& gt The swordsman said, "You talk, I'll go first! A couple came to the wishing pool. The husband bent down, made a wish and threw a coin into the well. My wife also wanted to make a wish, but when she bent down, she accidentally fell into the well. The husband was surprised, then smiled and said to himself, "What a fucking spirit!" " "Spiders love ants deeply, but they are rejected when expressing their love. The spider shouted, "Why? Why is this? " The ant said timidly, "My mother said that people who surf the Internet all day are not good people!" " "One day in class, the teacher asked a sleeping classmate a question:

Teacher: This classmate, why does the text say that bees add life to the garden?

Classmate: Didn't the bees steal the pollen, and the flowers were angry?

Teacher: You talk nonsense!

Classmate: How can I talk nonsense? It's not that the flowers are angry, but where they are angry-in full bloom! A man came to work with red eyes, and his colleague asked, "What's the matter?" "I was walking in the street yesterday and a young lady's skirt was blown up by the wind. I kindly helped her pull it down, and she actually punched me in the left eye! " "What about the right eye?" "I thought she didn't like pulling down the skirt, so I helped her lift it up again." A nurse sent a urine sample to a male patient and accidentally spilled the patient's urine sample all over the floor. The nurse was afraid of jokes, so she took her urine sample for testing. The doctor was very surprised when he saw the paper. The patient was very scared and asked the doctor what was wrong with him. The doctor stammered, Sir, you, you, are pregnant. In my eyes, you always look carefree, you always eat with relish, you always sleep soundly ... I envy you, alas, sometimes I think it's good to be a pig like you! Miss my childhood: I remember the primary school teacher scolding me: "I will kick you out with a slap!" " "When we were in junior high school, the teacher asked us to evaluate ourselves.

I just said, "reach for the rice",

My classmate took a sentence: "Clothes open your mouth" and went to physical education class in junior high school. I was sick that day. I'm a sports commissioner. After everyone lined up, I wanted to leave a note for the PE teacher, but it didn't come true. I said "I want to ask for leave" on the playground. The teacher said: the male classmate stood on my left, the female classmate stood on my right, and everyone else stood still ... A classmate was making trouble below, and the teacher said, stand on the wall for me! Junior high school teachers like to throw themselves into the topic and say: my bottom radius is 20cm, and I am 50cm tall, so I ... "Some people below say: I am a fool. The algebra teacher in high school said: Don't make any noise! You should wear school uniforms when raising the national flag in junior high school, but some people don't wear school uniforms or only wear school uniforms or pants. Before each flag raising, the headmaster said with a megaphone, "Some students don't wear clothes, some students don't wear pants, and some simply don't wear clothes or pants! "A classmate said angrily," Even tigers don't give cats. You think I'm dying! There are also students, who are particularly envious when they see the teacher asking them to read the composition. They always want the teacher to let them read it. The opportunity has finally come. "So-and-so, read your composition to everyone!" The student suddenly stood up: "My teacher". Teacher, I am very much like your mother ..... "I once watched Tao talk about the embarrassing incident when he was just the host. I never said that the opening ceremony was a curtain call ... What impressed me most was that he said that when he was hosting a party, he calmly walked up and said affectionately," Friends, have you seen the Yellow River? Do you know it is our mother river ~ ~ "After introducing the Yellow River affectionately, he said," Let's listen to Song of the Yangtze River. "My classmate had a quarrel with someone and was so anxious that he opened his mouth and said," Are you kidding? "Do you think I grew up eating?" Once we were discussing the advertising words on TV at night, when someone said something ethereal, saying, "Hair disappears without a trace, and dandruff is more prominent." John bought a big barrel of wine and left it outside the door. At the end of the day, there was a lot less wine. John was very angry and posted a few words on the barrel, "Don't steal wine." The next day, when there was less wine, John became even more angry and added a few more cups to the bucket. John thought it was a good idea, so he did it. On the fourth day, the bucket was full!