If you are in a bad mood, let's have some jokes to make you laugh.

The beauty stayed in the hotel for one night and checked out to 800 yuan. She complained that it was too expensive. The manager said that this is a standard charge. The hotel has a swimming pool, a gym and wifi.

The beauty said she never used it, and the manager said the hotel provided it, but she never used it herself.

The female guest opened her purse to pay the bill, but said that she would deduct the manager and her 700 yuan for the Spring Festival Evening, and only took out 100 yuan.

The manager shouted, "Where am I?" Female guest: "I provided it, you don't need it yourself!" " "

habit

The beggar went to Xiao Wang's house to beg, and he gave ten dollars. The beggar went again the next day and gave ten dollars for two years.

Only five dollars a day, beggar: ten dollars before, now five dollars. Xiao Wang: I am married.

The beggar slapped him: Shit, you take my money to support your wife?

Enlightenment: When providing free service makes customers a habit, this service is no longer an advantage, but a disadvantage.

man and wife

The couple went shopping. The woman took a fancy to a set of high-grade tableware and insisted on buying it. The husband is too expensive to pay.

The shopping guide saw it and quietly said something to her husband, and he immediately paid for it. What made him change immediately?

The shopping guide said to her husband, "Your wife won't let you wash dishes with such expensive tableware."

Revelation: Nothing is unchangeable in people's ideas. The key is the angle. We should be good at reading customers' psychology.

The most beautiful girl in the class.

Girls openly voted for class flowers, and Xiaomei, who was plain, gave a speech:

If I am elected, in a few years, the sisters here can proudly tell their husbands that when I was in college, I was more beautiful than Ban Hua!

As a result, she was unanimously elected-

Enlightenment: convincing others to support you doesn't have to prove that you are better than others, but to make others feel that,

Because of you, they have become better and more fulfilling.

Shortcomings of management

The girl bought a pair of trousers, but they were too long to try on. She asked her grandmother to help cut it short, but she said she was busy. I have no time to find my mother; I have no time to find my sister.

The girl fell asleep in disappointment. Grandma thought of her little granddaughter's pants when she was busy with housework, so she cut them a little shorter.

Sister came back and cut her pants short again; Mom also cut her pants short when she came back, and finally she couldn't wear them.

-The downside of management is: ignore it or manage it!

Classic story

The tiger will eat the deer when it catches it! The deer said, "You can't eat me!" " The tiger paused and asked, "Why?" "

Deer: "Because I am a national second-class protected animal!" " "

The tiger smiled and said, "We can't let the first-class protected animals starve to death for the sake of second-class protected animals, can we?" ! "

Feeling: always keep a sense of crisis, and don't let your little advantage crush you.

cup

When a cup is full of milk, people will say "this is milk";

When changing vegetable oil, people will say "this is vegetable oil".

Only when the cup is empty can people see the cup and say "this is a cup".

Similarly, when our hearts are full of prejudice, wealth and power, we are no longer ourselves;

People are often keen to have a lot, but it is often difficult to really own themselves.

Enlightenment of bowl breaking

An old man selling porcelain bowls was walking on the road with a pole. Suddenly, a porcelain bowl fell to the ground and broke, but the old man walked on without looking back.

Passers-by felt very strange after seeing it and asked, "Why don't you look at your broken bowl?"

The old man replied, "No matter how I turn around, the bowl is still broken." What inspiration did you get?

Key points and sensitive points

The company posted a note on the urinal in the men's toilet: "One small step is a big step." As a result, there are still many urine stains on the ground.

Later, the company learned the lesson seriously, and the note was changed to: "You can't pee in the pool, it's short; Peeing outside the pool means you are soft,

As a result, the ground is much cleaner than before.

Revelation: Sometimes it is better to expose its shortcomings than to publicize its advantages! In order to be effective, the advice to customers should be specific and accurate, aiming at its key points and sensitive points.

Individuals and teams

The teacher asked his disciples: how can a drop of water not dry up? The disciple was silent.

The teacher said: a drop of water, the wind can blow it dry, the soil can suck it dry, and the sun can evaporate it.

If you don't want to dry up, you have to let it melt into the sea. A man can't support the world by himself. If he wants to succeed,

You have to learn to cooperate with others, it is difficult to be alone. This is what we often say: no matter how powerful an individual is, it is not as good as a United organization.

Special endurance

Two turtles were relatively motionless at the edge of the field, and the old farmer said to an expert on the side: They are competing for endurance, and whoever moves first loses.

The expert pointed to a turtle with Oracle Bone Inscriptions on its shell and said:

According to my years of research, this turtle has been dead for more than five thousand years. Another turtle poked its head out and said, I didn't say anything when I died. Let me wait here.

The tortoise playing dead smiled and said, You lost. Listen to the opinions of experts!

Experience and education

When a group of robbers robbed a bank, they said a wise saying: "Don't move, money belongs to the country, and life is your own!" " "

When the robbers returned, one of the new robber masters said, Boss, let's count how much we robbed.

The old robber (primary school culture) said, "Are you stupid? So many, when do you want to count? Don't you know when you watch the news tonight? "

User comments: Work experience is more important than education these days!

Worth thinking

Someone bought a jar of good wine and put it in the yard. The next day, when there was less wine 1/5, he put the words "Don't steal wine" on the barrel.

On the third day, the wine was 2/5 less, and a heavy penalty for stealing wine was posted. On the fourth day, the wine was stolen, so I posted the word urine bucket to see who would drink it again.

On the fifth day, he cried. The bucket is full ... the story is not over yet. On the sixth day, he posted the words "Don't steal wine" on the barrel. Many people cried that day.

Parrots and crows

Parrots meet crows, and parrots in cages are at ease; Crows in the wild are free.

The parrot envied the freedom of the crow, and the crow envied the comfort of the parrot, so the two birds discussed and exchanged.

Crows are comfortable, but their owners are seldom happy, and finally die of depression; Parrots are free,

But after a long period of comfort, he could not live independently and eventually died of hunger.

Be yourself, don't envy others' happiness, maybe that's not for you.

Suddenly realized

The teacher asked, "A man wanted to boil a pot of boiling water, but when he was halfway through, he found that there was not enough firewood. What should he do? "

Some students said to look for it quickly, while others said to borrow and buy it. The teacher said, "Why don't you pour some water from the pot?" .

-students have an epiphany. Things can't be all right, you can only get it by giving up. A lot of search in life is not in Qianshan, but in the distance.

poor people

The poor asked the Buddha, why am I so poor? Buddha said: You have not learned to give to others. Poor man: I have nothing. How to give it?

Buddha: A person who has nothing can give others seven things.

Yanshi-smile; Speech-say words of praise and comfort; Heart-open your heart and be kind to others;

Give others a friendly look; Give-help others with actions; Seats-that is, simple seats; The stone-has a tolerant heart.

cosmetics

My friend just got married and opened a cosmetics store. The business is very good.

One day when I went to the store to play, I met a 40-year-old female customer and asked Xiao Li, "How is this cosmetic made?"

Xiao Li: "Oh, I'm not familiar with this. Please wait a moment, my mother will introduce you. " Said and pulled his wife over.

The customer looked directly at his wife for ten minutes and took out his wallet without asking anything: "Buy".

Marketing philosophy

A shy boy was studying in the classroom, and he saw a girl he liked very much, and saw that the girl was leaving after reading the book.

The shy boy blushed and accosted: Can my classmate lend me 10 yuan for noodles?

I lost my wallet in the dormitory. This is my student ID card. Please give me my mobile phone number and I'll pay you back later.

The girl thought for a moment and said, OK. When he was saving money, the boy said, if I can borrow 20 yuan, I'll treat you to a bowl, too.

trivial matter

A weasel wanted to fight a decisive battle with the lion, but the lion resolutely refused.

The weasel said, "Are you afraid?"

The lion said, "If I promise you, you will get the honor of fighting the lion." ：

As for me, all animals will laugh at me for fighting with weasels in the future. "

Don't be disturbed too much by unimportant people and things, because the secret of success is to stick to your goals.

Instead of wasting time on unnecessary trifles.

Sales psychology

When a rich man marries a wife, there are three candidates. The rich man gave each of the three girls 1000 yuan and asked them to fill the room.

Girl A bought a lot of cotton and filled her room with 1/2. Girl B bought a lot of balloons, which occupied 3/4 of the room.

Girl C bought candles to fill the room with light. Finally, the rich man chose the one with the biggest breasts.

This story tells us that it is very important to know the real needs of customers.

effective communication

Two cows are eating grass together. The green cow asked the black cow, "Hello! What's the smell of your grass? "

The black cow said, "Strawberry flavor!" Qing Niu leaned down and took a bite, and shouted angrily, "You liar!" "

The black cow gave him a contemptuous look and replied, "Nima, I said grass is tasteless."

Enlightenment: In the process of teamwork and management, whether we can communicate effectively and master effective communication channels is to gather competitiveness.

The key to strengthening execution and improving performance.

Sales knowledge of selling vegetables

I saw two piles of vegetables in front of a food stall. Buy: "How much is a catty here?" A: "1." Ask again: "What about that side?"

A: "1.50." Q: "Why?" Answer: "That one over there is better."

So I bought 1.50. Later, I found that the stall owner quickly turned one point of 1 into two piles, and soon 1+5 kg was sold out! ,,,