Advice from a 42-year-old second-married woman: When remarrying, men with these three symptoms should not marry

Marriage may not be as beautiful as we imagined, but divorce is definitely much worse than we imagined, especially for a woman, who has to suffer a lot. Mr. Zhou Guoping, a famous contemporary scholar, once said this on Weibo:

?Divorce is a tear after all, and one cannot but feel pain. The calmer the patient is, the clearer the pain will be. Especially the one who endures the pain of giving up her love has a kind of sacred dignity in her calmness, which is almost comparable to the dignity of dying calmly. In this way, she rescued everything valuable in the dying marriage to the greatest extent possible and preserved them in the memories of both parties. ?

This is also the reason why many married women are afraid of remarriage. Because divorced women have been deeply hurt by their previous marriage, their hearts are relatively fragile. They are like frightened birds. They treat relationships cautiously, fearing that they have just left. Once out of the sea of ??misery, you will fall into a cage again. Therefore, even if most second-married women fall in love with a man, they will not easily enter into marriage again, because in this way, even if they are betrayed by the other party, they can stop the loss in time.

Advice from a 42-year-old second-married woman: When remarrying, men with these three symptoms should not marry

2.

Confidant: Wang Zhen, 42 years old.

42-year-old Wang Zhen is still living a single life. She is smart, capable, virtuous and considerate. No one would have thought that she had two failed marriages, and both of them were unkind people.

The first divorce was when Wang Zhen was 38 years old. At that time, she had a happy marriage. Her husband had a company, and she was responsible for taking care of the children at home. The family of three was enjoying themselves and living a sweet life. But what she didn't expect was that her husband actually cheated on her, and the person he cheated on was her best friend. She couldn't bear it, so she had a big fight with her husband and then chose to divorce.

During the divorce, Wang Zhen received 300,000 yuan in property and a house. However, since she had been staying at home and had no job, the custody of the children belonged to her husband. In this way, Wang Zhen's first marriage ended in failure, and she began her single life again.

After the divorce, Wang Zhen was really heartbroken. Her ex-husband and her best friend betrayed her at the same time, which made her unable to trust anyone in her future life. She couldn't figure it out at first, and she felt extremely depressed every day. She who never drank alcohol before actually fell in love with the taste of alcohol, and often got herself drunk. One day, the sober Wang Zhen thought that she could no longer be so decadent. Although she had been betrayed, her life was still long. She must cheer up and not let those who hurt her laugh. Thinking of this, Wang Zhen decided to take a long-distance trip by herself to relax her mood and change her mentality.

She just left, packed her bags, and embarked on the journey. Her first stop was Yunnan, because she heard others say that it was beautiful and could make people feel happy.

During the trip, Wang Zhen met He Jun, who was three years younger than her, her second husband. After Wang Zhen told He Jun what she had experienced, He Jun told her that he was a company owner and had just divorced because his wife cheated on him and he got close to his boss. In the end, the two divorced. He also wanted to Let yourself change your mentality through travel and let yourself forget the past.

Two people who encountered the same situation soon had the same topic. In order to take care of each other, the two people traveled together. After the trip, the two of them still kept in touch. He Jun's eloquent words and sweet words slowly made Wang Zhen lower her guard. Wang Zhen felt that she had fallen in love with this man who was three years younger than herself. It really came to what he thought. Not long after, He Jun proposed to Wang Zhen. Wang Zhen felt that He Jun was very serious and attentive, and was gentle and considerate to her, so she agreed to He Jun's proposal, and the two received their marriage certificate.

Advice from a 42-year-old second-married woman: When remarrying, a man with these three symptoms should not be remarried

After getting married, the two people lived a pretty sweet life, Wang Zhen She has returned to the girlish mentality of her youth. One day after they got married for more than a month, He Jun came home with a sad face. Wang Zhen asked him what was wrong. He Jun didn't tell him at first, but later he couldn't stand Wang Zhen's questioning and told him the reason. It turns out that my company has encountered a capital turnover problem and needs 200,000 yuan. I have tried many methods but can't solve it. This time the company will go bankrupt if it can't survive.

After Wang Zhen heard this, she immediately softened her heart. She had fallen in love with this man and had a family. If there were any difficulties, they should face them together. She also received some property during the divorce. How could she help? The army weathered the storm. So, she gave He Jun 200,000 yuan without saying a word, but He Jun refused to accept it, saying that he couldn't spend women's money. Wang Zhen said that it would be okay to wait until the company has gone through the difficulties and then return it to herself. Besides, why do two people live so clearly? He Jun had no choice but to accept it and wrote a symbolic IOU to Wang Zhen.

Originally, the matter ended like this, He Jun's company was operating normally, and the two of them could live a normal life. However, after a period of time, He Jun mentioned to Wang Zhen that he was short of money. This time, his partner was going abroad and was planning to transfer the shares. He wanted to take them back so that the company would be his. He also told Wang Zhen from the side to see if he could sell her idle house first. . Wang Zhen thought that the two of them were living a good life, and as long as the company developed, He Jun would not treat her badly, so she sold the house and asked He Jun to invest all the money in the company.

However, what Wang Zhen didn't expect was that from then on, He Jun slowly began to change. After giving all the money to He Jun, Wang Zhen became strapped for money, and He Jun often stayed away from home at night, and even when he came back, he was drunk. Wang Zhen told He Jun several times about this matter, but He Jun's answer surprised him, "Just live with it if you can, and get divorced if you can't live with it. She is a forty-year-old woman, and she still thinks of herself all day long." Where's the treasure? ?Wang Zhen was very sad at first after hearing this, but later she felt that He Jun might have been angry outside and just said drunken words at the moment, but did not take it seriously afterwards.

Advice from a 42-year-old second-married woman: When remarrying, a man with these three symptoms should not be remarried

Later, something happened that completely broke Wang Zhen’s heart. And let her choose to divorce again. One afternoon, Wang Zhen bought some toys for her child and was going to see her. When he first went out, he met He Jun who was coming back from outside. When He Jun saw the toy in Wang Zhen's hand, he knew that she was going to see the child. He Jun's face immediately changed and he started to curse, "You are?" You have a family, but you are still in contact with your ex-husband all day long, and all the money you have is spent on the child. Can you still live this life? As soon as Wang Zhen explained a few sentences, He Jun slapped her in the face and threatened: "If you can live, live with it, if you can't live with it, get divorced. I don't want to help others raise children. I will wait until I have the money you gave me." ?

At this time, Wang Zhen finally understood how ridiculous she was. Before, she thought He Jun was talking drunkenly and angry, but it turned out that he was speaking the truth while drunk. The reason why this man married himself was because he saw the little money in his hand and did not really love himself. Therefore, Wang Zhen decisively chose to divorce and took He Jun to court.

Only afterward did she find out that He Jun’s company was just a handbag company. He Jun had been married four times before, and his experiences were similar to hers. However, those women paid less and were not held accountable. That’s all.

Since then, Wang Zhen no longer believes in marriage, she has become more wary, and it is difficult to trust anyone. So far, she is still alone and living a single life.

Advice from a 42-year-old second-married woman: When remarrying, men with these three symptoms should not marry

3.

In fact, in real life, There are many women like Wang Zhen who were deceived by men's sweet words and the illusion of tenderness before marriage, so they impulsively chose to remarry, only to end up jumping into another fire pit.

Whether it is her first marriage or her second marriage, women who choose to get married should look at these three aspects. If a man has these three symptoms, he would rather be single than married.

First, a man who always talks to you about money

For a middle-aged woman, especially a divorced woman, money is the foundation and foundation of her happy life. Assure. Only when you have money can you do what you want to do and buy what you want to buy, and your life will be more fulfilling and exciting.

Money is inherently a sensitive topic, so women should know that when you are in a relationship, if a man constantly talks to you about money, your assets, etc., then you must treat it with caution. This man fell in love with you just because of your money. He doesn't really love you. When you run out of money, the relationship between you will naturally be over.

Therefore, when women choose to get married for the second time, they must keep their eyes open, stay rational, and screen carefully. Don’t be deceived by men’s sweet words and temporary favors, especially those who are middle-aged, divorced, and married. Women who have a certain amount of savings in their pockets are more likely to become targets of men with evil intentions. In fact, if a man loves you, he will make you live a good life through his own efforts. He will never fall out with you because of money, and he will not bother to use your money.

Advice from a 42-year-old second-married woman: When remarrying, men with these three symptoms should not be remarried

Second, often talk about "breakup" or "divorce" The man on the side

There is a kind of man who has an extreme personality, is selfish, and has no gentlemanly manners. In a relationship, when two people have differences and do not give in to each other, he will use? Threatening a woman with breakup or divorce to make her surrender. This is because he grasps the weakness of women, knows that women are easy to be soft-hearted, and also knows that women are reluctant to separate because they love him, so he will go even further to achieve his goal.

Therefore, women must know that this kind of man must not marry, because in his heart, he does not value this relationship at all, and feels that you are dispensable to him, so he Only then would he keep saying these words.

Advice from a 42-year-old second-married woman: When remarrying, men with these three symptoms should not be remarried

Third, men who are particularly controlling

Divorced men and women have a past that is difficult to erase, and many of them will have children. However, although some men choose to marry a woman, they are very concerned about her previous marriage history and that she has had children. After marriage, they have a strong desire to control the woman and seriously interfere with her life. Some even do not allow the woman to have sex with her ex-husband. There is some connection with the child born from the ex-husband. If a woman has a connection with her ex-husband because of her child, he will get jealous at every turn and hold on to the woman’s past. Living with such a controlling man is very depressing. He may say she is a nervous woman, but in fact she is just a woman. I just care about my own face.

When you love someone deeply, you will not only accept the other person’s strengths, but also choose to tolerate the other person’s shortcomings and flaws. So women need to know that a man who has a strong desire to control and cannot accept your past will not truly love you. If you encounter such a man, you should stay away as soon as possible.

Therefore, women should know, especially divorced women, that they should treat marriage with a choice of "preferring less than waste". They must not regard marriage as a "life-saving straw". If you meet someone who is not kind, , you will eventually fall into the fire pit of marriage again. In short, women should keep their eyes open when they choose to remarry. If a man has these three behaviors, he would rather be single than married.

END.