The complete set of jokes to teach others.

1, the bowl fell off, and it was a big scar.

2, a literary evening, the host came to the stage and announced: Please enjoy the following: Xinjiang song and dance, lift your skull! Creepy! !

3, the tiger does not send a cat, you think I am critically ill!

When I was in high school, the classroom discipline was very chaotic. The teacher picked up XX in a rage and said, XX, stand on the wall for me! ~ the whole class is cold!

5. Me: That's our physics teacher.

Classmate: What do you teach?

Me: Chemistry.

6. One person in our dormitory drank too much urine and then came up with a cold sentence: if you drink too much wine, you will get more.

7, buy oranges, boss: one yuan and five pounds. Me: It's too expensive, five yuan and three Jin. Boss: no, no.

8. My friend asked me about the computer configuration, and I said that the monitor is a color screen. (I was going to say LCD)

9. I heard a MM shouting "Give me a bowl of vipers ~!"

10, at school

One day, my classmate called and handed it to me and said, "Your mother."

As soon as I answered the phone, I casually said, "A man and a woman."

Everyone laughed wildly. I was laughed at for four years.

1 1, a classmate's high school classmate (a boy) walked into the noodle restaurant and shook his hair very cool: "Boss, don't want two onion rice noodles!" Then add another sentence: "More.

Order some rice noodles! Boss: "Do you want rice noodles or onions?"

12, once my classmate's mother called me in the dormitory.

I am used to saying "he is not in", but this time I want to say "he is out"

The result is: "He's gone ..."

13, gg handed me a sorbet, and I took a bite and shouted, "It's burning me!"

14. My sister and I went to Li Ning to buy shoes. My sister said, "Miss, how much are these shoes?"

15, once I patted my roommate's stomach, she said loudly, "Stop patting, I have urine in my stomach."

16, go home on weekends when I go to school. After dinner, I was addicted to cigarettes and planned to go for a walk on the pretext. When changing shoes at the door, my father asked me why I wanted to go. I casually said, "Go have a cigarette!" As a result, my father found a pack of 555 from me and gave me a good K.

17, a leader of the Education Bureau checked the exercises between classes. After the end, the PE teacher should have announced "dissolution", but in desperation, he forgot his words and hugged for a long time.

Shouting: "retreat!"

18, there was a teacher surnamed Jiang in high school, who looked very much like (the Tang Priest in a Chinese Odyssey). I went to ask him a question and blurted out, "Miss Tang, this is.

Theme ... "

19 A teacher probably played mahjong all night. When he saw that the blackboard had not been wiped, he was furious: "Who is the farmer today?" Don't clean the blackboard! "

20. When the teacher leaves homework, I copy others' if I can't do it, and then go to the office to hand in my homework. I saw the teacher say, "I finished copying!" "

2 1. Once, we traveled to Huangshan Mountain, and the tour guide just introduced that the Hundred Steps Ladder was the scenic spot of Liu Xiaoqing [[Xiaohua]] that year. Suddenly, a member of our group

The man blurted out, "Director ..." Everyone fainted.