No, dirty jokes.

1, congratulations! Your wife just gave birth to a big fat boy in the hospital. You've been out for more than two years, and you don't go home to have a look.

2. A man was drunk and went home by bus. The driver is a lady. The man took off his clothes when he got on the bus. The female driver questioned his behavior, but he was frightened: "What are you doing in my house? I have a wife!

3. A man said sadly to his drinking buddy, "I didn't expect my wife to be unfaithful to me. She told me that she was with her sister last night, but in fact, I was with her sister last night! "

4. Daughter: "Someone introduced me to an object. His father is the director, his uncle works in the foreign trade department, and his uncle works as a manager in Hong Kong! " Mother: "The conditions are really good, so who are you going to marry?"

A plane flew over a mental hospital. Suddenly, the driver burst out laughing, and the stewardess asked curiously, "Why are you laughing so happily?" Driver: "They will be mad if they know that I have escaped."

6. Part I: Hahahahahahaha, Part II: Hehehehehehehehehe. Horizontal batch: mental derangement.

7. Mother and daughter visit their daughter's boyfriend's art exhibition. Mother found one of the nude portraits of her daughter, so she asked, "You didn't paint him nude, did you?" "Oh, no," the daughter replied. "He drew it from memory.

8. A farmer in a county was fined 1 10,000 yuan by the Animal Protection Association for feeding swill to pigs every day-the charge was cruelty to animals. Later, the farmer changed to feed the pigs with Saussurea involucrata, and was fined 1 10,000 yuan by the Animal Protection Association for wasting food. One day, the leader visited again and asked the farmers what to feed the pigs. The farmer said, "I don't know what to feed." Now I give it 100 yuan every day and let it go out to eat by itself. "

9. Teacher: "How to tell the difference between an octopus's hands and feet?" Student: "Give it a fart and smell it. It's the hands that cover your nose, and the rest are your feet."

10, a boy wrote to his girlfriend: Dear, for you, I will cross the ocean and jump into the abyss without hesitation. I will overcome any difficulties! If it doesn't rain, I will find you on time on Sunday!

1 1, Abbe: My child, repent for your deep crimes. Otherwise, the gate of heaven will be closed to you. Habitual thief: Don't worry, there is no door in the world that I can't open.

12, two jiaozi got married and had a bridal chamber that night. After seeing off the guests, Jiaozi returned to the house and suddenly found a meatball on the bed, but Jiaozi was gone. He panicked and quickly shouted, "Where is my bride?" Meatball scolded: "Damn, don't you know that people have taken off their clothes?" ! "

13, there is a beggar on a street, begging there every day for a living. One day, someone suddenly found a bowl beside the beggar, but there was no one in it? Curious. He went up and asked, "Why did you put two bowls?" . The beggar smiled and said, "I don't know why business has been very good recently." So I opened a branch. " .

14, the vampire bat came back covered in blood, and the bats were very envious. They asked him where he got so much blood. He took the bat to a big tree and asked, Do you see that big tree? Answer: Yes. It: Damn, I didn't see it.

15, eunuchs and men race, each winning once. They each said a classic advertisement. The man said: I have, I can. Eunuch said: Take it easy, one step ahead of others!

16. The snail was run over by a turtle while traveling on the road, so it was taken to the hospital for emergency treatment. The snail woke up and the police asked him about it. The snail replied, "I don't remember. He was too fast."