Jokes about ducks

Duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for corn. The bartender said, "There is no corn here. Get out. " So the duck went out. The next day, it came back and ordered corn again. The bartender said, "I told you, there is no corn at all!" Get out! " So the duck left again. The next day, the duck brought some more corn, and the bartender said, "For the last time, we don't sell corn! If you dare to come again, I'll nail your feet to the floor! " So the duck left again. The next day, the duck came and asked, "Do you have a nail?" The bartender said, "No, of course not. How can a bar sell nails? " The duck went on to say, "Good. Can I have a portion of corn? "

2.

Three people died in a car accident, and they followed them to heaven. After arriving in heaven, St. Peter said, "There is only one rule in heaven, that is, don't step on ducks!" " "

So they went to heaven. Sure enough, there were so many ducks there that there was almost no place to stay. Although they tried their best not to step on a duck, the first guy slipped and stepped on one.

I saw St. Peter bring the ugliest woman he had ever seen in his life. St. Peter locked them together and said, "You stepped on a duck, and your punishment is to be locked with this ugly woman forever."

The next day, another guy accidentally stepped on a duck, and the observant St. Peter came again, this time with an ugly wife. When locking them together, he warned them as he did for the first time.

The third man saw it all in his eyes. He doesn't want to be locked up with that ugly woman forever. He walks carefully and hasn't stepped on a duck for months. One day, St. Peter brought a very beautiful woman he had never seen in his life and locked them together without saying a word.

The man asked, "What did I do to be locked up with you forever?"

She replied, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!" " "

3.

"Doctor, doctor, my wife says she is a duck."

"Then bring her here quickly."

"No-she has flown to the south for the winter."

The duck and the crab ran to the finish line together, and the referee said, you two scissors, rock and paper. The duck is in a hurry: Shit, set me up? As soon as it comes out, it's cloth. Always scissors!

A person specializes in eating roast duck in Beijing. It is said that authentic roast duck tastes terrible. Once he took a group of people to eat authentic Beijing roast duck. "Boss! To roast duck, authentic! "

I saw my little sister cut a roast duck and served it. "Here comes the roast duck!"

The man stopped everyone's saliva, touched the roast duck's ass and angrily called to his little sister, "This is not Beijing roast duck, this is Nanjing salted duck. Change one! "

Xiaomei took it back and changed it quickly.

"Here comes the roast duck!" Similarly, the man touched the duck's ass angrily and said, "Little sister! This is Tianjin salted duck, change! " Miss Jie took it back to tell the chef and brought another plate to the table. "Here comes the roast duck!" "

The man repeated the action and finally said, "You can eat! This is authentic Beijing roast duck! "

At this time, a chef suddenly ran out of the kitchen, knelt in front of him and said, "I was an orphan since I was a child." I don't know where I was born. Can you touch me and tell me where I am from! "