A short and funny joke (a joke that makes people laugh immediately)

First, "Cousin, what made you decide to lose weight?" "After getting drunk last time" and "Just getting drunk can make you decide to lose weight?" "When you carried me to bed, I heard you shout: one, two, three, go!"

Secondly, in the big night, I can see many takeaway brothers rushing to deliver food on the street, and suddenly feel very inspirational. Everyone else is still eating so late. What reason do I have not to eat?

Third, the father taught his son to learn arithmetic: "What is one plus one?" Son: "I don't know." Father: "it's two, idiot!" " Understand? "Son:" I see. "Father:" So, how many people are you and me? "Son:" They are two idiots! " "

Fourth, be modest, listen to other people's opinions, and then carefully write down who has opinions on you.

5. A buddy likes chatting online. Once he went to see a female netizen, and I asked him what was going on. He said: I passed the written test and failed the interview.

6. Please remember one sentence: You must eat breakfast! Of course, it is not because you are unhealthy, but because it is the cheapest meal of your day!

Seven, I really like you, always put you first, forget it, the game begins.

It is normal for friendship to become love, but love cannot be changed back to friendship. Just like a towel can be used as a rag for a long time, but have you ever seen a rag used as a towel?

9. The mother said to her daughter, "You must be obedient. Every time I make your mother angry, her mother grows a white hair. " The daughter enlightened: "Oh, no wonder grandma's hair is white."

10. A vendor selling watermelons on the roadside is shouting, "Not ripe, don't charge.". I went to see him, but I really don't know him. I picked up two watermelons and left.

11. When I broke up with my ex, I was fine during the day, but I couldn't restrain my inner emotions at night, and I secretly laughed alone under the quilt.

Twelve, originally called a girl, later called a sister paper. You are a goddess now, but you are different. You will always be: that woman.

Thirteen, now people are full and have nothing to do, and want to find someone. I'm much better. I don't have enough to eat.

Fourteen, others caught a cold, others daughter-in-law said: sleep after taking medicine, wake up. I caught a cold, my daughter-in-law said. I took medicine and went to work, so I just sweated a little. ...

15. I saw the news yesterday that criminals were short of money at the end of the year, so be vigilant! I am really angry that these lawless elements are short of money by the end of the year. I'm short of money all year round!

I have 500 yuan. Anybody want to borrow it? As long as you pay a deposit of 1000 yuan, you can give up all the IOUs.

Seventeen, haggle over every ounce of people is not suitable for love, more suitable for shopping.

Eighteen, I went home with my wife at night, and suddenly three masked men jumped out of the roadside. "You two can only go one!" I said, "Wife, run!" "Watching his wife disappear, the three men took off their masks: God, is it so difficult to find you to play mahjong now?

Nineteen, as a foodie, the biggest wish is to eat the instant noodles in the last advertisement.

What if I don't want to wash clothes? Just bring a wife. If the daughter-in-law is virtuous, she will wash your clothes. If your daughter-in-law is tough, you should learn to wash clothes.

2 1. One day, some roommates were eating in the canteen. The TV in the hall is playing the Qing Palace drama. After eating, they want to wipe their mouths. When I found that there was no paper, I asked my roommate, who has paper? As soon as the voice fell, a long and soft eunuch voice began on TV: "The emperor has an imperial decree."

Twenty-two, my parents are always worried about my spending money indiscriminately, but they are not worried about whether I have money to spend.

Twenty-three, your illness is very serious; But it can still be cured; But it costs a lot of money. The doctor's three sentences can make you feel the ups and downs of life.

My parents have been cheating on each other for so many years. My mother said to my father that day, "Look at your son." The father was dissatisfied at that time and sneered: "Hehe, your son is not much better, just like a monkey."