Advanced humorous jokes, humorous quotations that make people happy (selected 65 sentences)

1, even if the door is welded, it won't get down. Who gets off and sleeps with ten dogs?

2, ah! I accidentally sent you "I love you" by mistake. If you accept it, keep it. If you don't accept it, send these three words back to me.

Procrastination is not a disease, but a very wise survival strategy. Many problems in our life will be solved by ourselves as long as we put them off again and again. If you don't succeed, you haven't delayed long enough.

4, Valentine's Day confession, people do not listen. April fool's day confession, people don't believe it. Qingming confession, people should not.

Women's tears are the most useless liquid, but you make women cry, which means you are even more useless.

6. The weather is very cold. Did you knit a sweater with my red thread?

If Newton had sat under the durian tree, there wouldn't be so much homework now.

8. Today, the girl's cell phone rang at the front desk of self-study early, and the sound of reading suddenly exploded beside her. Damn it, this is unity!

9. Why doesn't mother like daughter-in-law and grandma likes grandson? Because the enemy of the enemy is a friend.

10, orange juice has 3% oranges, and the photo is 3% like mine.

1 1, I want to give you happiness with my own hands, I don't trust others.

12, God closed a door for you and went to wash and sleep.

13, you are cheap and promising, and you are slutty enough.

14, the only thing I can put down now is chopsticks. I can't get out of bed when I go in.

15. Do you know why you feel so sleepy at school? Because school is where dreams begin.

16, not every dream will come true, not everyone will never change.

17, if I had made my life into a movie, I would have thought of the name of the movie long ago, called Poor Life.

18, I want to underestimate myself, but my weight is not allowed.

19, I saw a big comb when I was shopping today. The price is right, and it feels good to comb. As a result, I looked at the sign: dogs only. Then quietly put the comb down.

20, the early bird catches the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird!

2 1, I want to live in my brother's fish pond and break my brother's heart.

22. Don't use honey trap on me in the future, or I will play with it.

23. Deliberately study, work, live and live like a person!

24, you stand there and don't move! Wait for me to fly there!

25. The weather is very cold. When you wake up from sleep at night, don't forget to open the quilt for your roommate.

26. The most shameless person I have ever met is homework. I said I didn't like it, and it made me do it.

27. This question is great! When I hit the table with my hand, it almost fell apart!

28. If you are single all the year round, you should reflect on whether you are too strict about gender.

29. As an optimistic person in others' eyes, you are probably hanging to death, and everyone thinks you are swinging.

30. Class time is like Fu Nan's battery, one class is longer than six.

3 1, it's no use trying to coax me when I don't want to talk to you. At this time, you should give me a red envelope.

32. It's easy to fool me. Tell the baby to hug and feed, and buy a bag.

33. Making money is like long-distance running. You can't see the shadow of money when you run around. You spend money like running water and lose the shadow of money.

If you choose to run counter to me, please don't look back.

35, anxiety, online, etc! I was bitten by Agkistrodon, but I caught the snake. I let it bite me every four steps. Can I go to the hospital?

I have given you my mobile phone number, why don't you understand my mind! Charge me dozens of dollars if you need anything.

37. I am convinced that someone will come to this world because of my torture.

38. You are not ugly, but the beauty is not obvious!

39. If the whole world doesn't want you, remember to come to me. I know several traffickers.

40. Conan didn't learn much reasoning and problem-solving skills, but he learned a lot of modus operandi.

4 1, in fact, Big Wolf is the real local tyrant. Wolfsburg has been bombed so many times, and the next episode is still intact!

42. The application enters your heart, and I'll knock at the door.

43. It's really troublesome to meet strangers, and many lies have to be told.

44. You don't cherish me now! I tell you, after this village, I will wait for you in the next village.

I saw you at the corner of the street. I chased you like crazy, only to remember that there is no you in this city, so I put down the brick.

46. I want to walk to you and to your bed.

47. Who says I can't play musical instruments? I quit. I played well.

48. Everyone who says "good night" to bed is often still showing off in an ostentatious manner half an hour later.

49. If you don't take a bath in spring, mosquitoes bite everywhere. Also, ghosts scream, scaring you to run.

50. I have tried exams for so many years. Why not hold an anniversary celebration? For example, if I pass the exam, I will be 20, and if I pass two subjects, I will be 1, and I will be exempted from any two subjects.

5 1, how time flies, only one second, just two seconds.

52. Growing up, the only constant is a heart that doesn't want to study.

53. In summer, I don't object to girls wearing skirts, especially short skirts, but why should they wear safety pants inside? I got up from the ground angrily.

54. I'm 30 degrees south, and you wear long pants in the north.

You must get along well with her. I will take a bus.

56. Although I have no brains, I am actually unhappy.

57. Math teacher, let me tell you that this is the result of the simultaneous construction of bridges by Team A and Team B..

58. Adults are overdue children and the elderly are invalid adults.

59. When you were born, you cried and everyone laughed. When you left, you smiled and everyone cried.

60. The real girl with a low smile is that you smile at her for a few seconds and she begins to giggle at you.

6 1, handsome! With the company of literati, there is a good life! There are horses to ride and cars to sit on. There are soldiers to protect.

62. Sleep during the day, fight at night and die.

63. Don't laugh at your cell phone at home, your parents will think you are in love.

64. I am not RMB. How can I make everyone like me?

65. Sincere friendship comes from endless greetings. Good morning everyone. May you be single forever!