English jokes (with Chinese) should not be too long.

1. On this day, Zhicong carpenter and his disciples were very busy. A rich man was in a hurry to load a plow and said that he would kill chickens for them for a long time. Zhicong carpenter asked his disciples to install it. Who knows, when the rich man caught the chicken, he deliberately let it run away and said that the meat was eaten. When the butcher who sells meat passed by, the rich man quickly hid in the back room. After a while, he came out and said, forget to eat eggs, just as the tofu seller came. The rich man thought tofu was cheaper than duck eggs, so he bought him two pieces of tofu to eat. The apprentice was angry and didn't work hard when loading the plow.

A few days later, the rich man said to the carpenter Zhicong, "The apprentice you brought is really good! The plow is deep or shallow. " Carpenter Zhicong said, "Master! My apprentice installed a chicken plow with duck egg tips on it, so he went in to hide from the butcher and plowed duck eggs to make tofu. "

2. One day, a wise carpenter was working in a rich man's house. When eating, the rich man wanted to play a trick on him and deliberately put chopsticks on the left side of the bowl. Zhicong carpenter took chopsticks in his left hand and ate slowly. Most of the time has passed, and he is still sitting on the table. The rich are in a hurry. Carpenter Zhicong smiled and said, "Sir, I'm sorry. My master has never taught me to eat with my left hand. "

3. Once upon a time, there was a rich man named Hu Xintian. He had a bad heart and was mean to the poor. One day I met Wen San and said, "Wen San, both of them."

Said we could talk about the past. Let's talk about it today "

Wen Sandao: "Good. Once upon a time, there was a family whose surname was ten and Yu. The tenth surname thinks that his strokes are too few, and there is no such surname in the hundred surnames. He said to the man surnamed Yu,' You don't have to keep your mouth shut. Gu, if you give me a word, I can also return all my surnames to the Sect.' My surname is Yu, so I gave him the words next to it. My surname is Yu, so I agreed. But this person is still not satisfied. He said,' In-laws, I still have too few strokes of this ancient character. Please give me the words of the month and let me be stupid! When Yu heard this, he was furious and said, "Are you going to dig up my bottom? "You really have a bad heart!" "Hu Xintian asked bored.

There is a rich man who eats as fat as a pig, and it is easy to raise a slug if he has nothing to do one day. Wang caught a slug and deliberately pinched the vocal organs to compare with the rich man.

The rich man was eating, looked at his mouth and said, "This slug can't bark, so why keep it?"

Wang looked at the dining tables and smiled slightly. "Although I can't scream, I can eat well!"

5. The newly appointed county magistrate in Wen 'an County exploited the people, which was hotter than the previous ones. Wang wants to play a trick on him. One day, Wang Mai bought two biscuits for the magistrate's young master. He said, "Take them home quickly. If adults want to ask, just say that Uncle Black bought it. "

When the county magistrate heard the child say this, he was furious: Where did Uncle Black come from? Obviously someone is making fun of me. After investigation, it was found that it belonged to Wang Gan.

I was about to send someone to arrest my official when the king came. He carried a thin bamboo piece on his shoulder, and a small sand fruit hung at each end of the bamboo piece. After walking to the lobby, I didn't even say "bow". The county magistrate ordered him to hit him 40 times. The king lifted two sand fruits and said, "Wait a minute! Wang has a gift, you can't beat me! "

The magistrate asked, "How can I beat you?"

Wang Hei's novel: "Officials don't give gifts, dogs don't bite and shit. If you make an exception and hit me today, won't everyone who gives gifts to your family fail in the future? " The county magistrate had to let Wang go.