Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Chapter 6 and 7 of the Water Margin.
Chapter 6 and 7 of the Water Margin.
It is said that among the twenty local ruffians, there are two heads: one is called "street mouse" Zhang San and the other is called "grass snake Li Si". These two are the first to meet the future. On the other hand, Shen Zhi went to the cesspit. Seeing the gang standing motionless by the cellar, he said, "I'm here to celebrate with the monk."
Shen Zhi said, "Since you are neighbors, you should all come and sit on campus." Zhang Sanhe and Li Si bowed to the ground and refused to get up. If you only expect the monk to help him, you have to do it.
When Shen Zhi saw this, he doubted it for a long time. He said, "Why don't these people disturb the restaurant because they are irresponsible and refuse to go near it?"? ..... That fellow is an inverted tiger beard! Let's go up and teach that fellow how to look at the shop! " Shen Zhi strode up to everyone.
Zhang San and Li Si said, "I have come to pay homage to the master." Said in his mouth, and then walked forward, one grabbed his left foot and the other grabbed his right foot. Waiting for him to get up early with his right foot, Teng Xian took Li Si down to the dung cellar. Zhang Sangang was about to leave when Shen Zhi got up early with his left foot, and two rascals were kicking and making trouble in the cesspit.
Twenty or thirty people who tied their heads were stunned and left. Shen Zhi shouted, "One goes, the other goes! Two down! " All the gangsters are afraid to move.
I saw Zhang San and Li Si sticking their heads out in the cesspit. It turns out that the cesspit is as deep as a bottomless pit. They stood in the dung cellar, covered in smelly excrement and covered with maggots in their hair, shouting, "Master! Forgive us! " Shen Zhi shouted, "You villains, get this bird up quickly, and I will spare you all!" "
They rescued him and helped him to the edge of the gourd rack. Stay away from him. Smiled and said, "Wu, that idiot! Go and wash in the vegetable garden pool and talk to everyone. " Two rascals washed once, and everyone took off their clothes and put them on.
2. The seventh time of "Water Margin": Stabbed Cangzhou Road Forest? Lu made a scene in the wild pig forest.
At that time, Qiu shouted around and arranged for the military school to win Lin Chong's beheading. Lin chong shouted injustice. Qiu said, "What brings you here? Seeing that he has a sword in his hand, why not kill Xiaguan? " Lin Chong said to him, "How dare you come uninvited? I saw two people in the hall and asked Lin to come over. "
Qiu shouted, "nonsense! Where is my locker? This guy refuses to accept this decision! Drink, call around, go to Kaifeng, ask Teng prefect for questioning, and let you understand and implement! Just seal this knife! " After receiving the imperial edict, Lin rushed to Kaifeng House.
It's just a pity that the prefect hasn't retired. Gao Taiwei led Lin Chong to the front of the temple and knelt down on the steps. Qiu told Teng prefect and put the knife sealed by Qiu in front of Lin Chong. The prefect said, "Lin Chong, you are an imperial coach. Why did you enter the altar with a sword in your hand because you didn't know the statutes? This is a damn criminal! "
Lin Chong told him, "You look like a mirror. I think Lin Chong has been wronged! Although I am a bitter soldier, I know a lot of statutes. How dare I join the festival? On the 28th of the previous month, Lin Chong and his wife went to the Yue Temple to pay homage. They were meeting Gao Taiwei's little official's son and molesting his wife, but they were dispersed by the villain. After that, he made Liu earn a little money to eat wine, but Fuan came to trick Lin Chong's wife into flirting with Liu upstairs, and he was also rushed by the villain.
This is a struggle against the Liu Yu family. Although he was not raped twice, there were witnesses. The next day, Lin Chong bought his own knife. Today, Qiu sent two contractors to call Lin Chong and asked him to come home to compete with knives. Therefore, Lin Chong took the two of them to Tang Jie. Those two undertakers have already entered the hall. I don't want Qiu to come in from the outside, so I can design a trap for Lin Chong. I hope the Lord will help me! "
At Lin Chong's words, the prefect called a palindrome, took the instrument of torture, twisted it and pushed it into the prison. Lin Chong's family came to deliver meals and make money at the same time.
Origin: The Water Margin written by Shi Naian at the end of Yuan Dynasty and the beginning of Ming Dynasty.
Extended data:
Creative background:
In the Southern Song Dynasty, the story of Liangshan heroes was widely circulated. At that time, Gong Kai, a painter and writer, wrote a preface to the praise of thirty-six people in Song Jiang, saying: The stories of thirty-six people including Song Jiang have spread all over the streets; Painters also write pictures and shadows for them.
At that time, Shi Naian was a descendant of Shi Zhi, one of the seventy-two sons of Confucius. He was smart and studious, gifted, filial and upright. In the first year of Yuanyanyou (13 14), he was a scholar, in the first year of Taiding (1324), and in the second year of Shunning (133 1), he was a scholar. Yin, who soon served as Qiantang County, was reprimanded by the county magistrate for protecting the poor, so he resigned and went home.
In the 13th year of Yuan Dynasty (1353), Bai Juchang, a salt farmer, Zhang Shicheng and other eighteen strong men led a strong uprising against Yuan Dynasty. Zhang Shicheng respected his literary talent and invited him to be a military curtain for many times. Shi Naian went there ambitiously to establish a "king's land", and provided many strategies for Zhang Shicheng to attack the city and seize the land.
Later, due to Zhang Shicheng's arrogance and arbitrariness, his cronies were unfaithful, and he was at odds with Zhongliang. Shi Naian protested several times, but Zhang Shicheng refused to accept it. He angrily left Pingjiang and sent a song "Qiu Jiang Farewell" to Lu Yuan, Liu Liang and others who were in charge of the same curtain. Since then, I have been wandering in the Jianghu, helping people solve problems.
Later, Xu Qi, a rich man from Zhutang, Jiangyin, sat in the museum. In addition to teaching, he also studied the creation of Romance of the Three Kingdoms and Biography of Three Ears in Pingyao with Luo Guanzhong, who worshipped him as a teacher, and collected and sorted out the story of the uprising led by Song Jiang in Liangshan, Shui Bo at the end of the Northern Song Dynasty 108, which prepared the material for writing Water Margin.
In the twenty-seventh year of Zheng Zheng (1367), after Zhu Yuanzhang destroyed Zhang Shicheng, he scouted Zhang Shicheng's men everywhere. In order to avoid trouble, Shi Naian consulted Gu Ti, Xinghua's good friend, and built a house in Bai Juyi. Since then, he has lived in seclusion and devoted himself to the creation of Water Margin.
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