Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Who has the full text of Zhou Libo's Beyond the Mountain?
Who has the full text of Zhou Libo's Beyond the Mountain?
Why are we going to the wedding? If someone asks this question, here is our answer: Sometimes, people are happy to attend weddings in order to see the happiness of others and increase their own joy.
There is a group of girls walking in front of us. Girls are all piles and always laugh. They laughed and laughed. A person simply squatted on the side of the road, laughing and cursing at home, rubbing his stomach with his hand. Why are they laughing? I don't know. I don't know much about girls. I asked an expert who knows girls and told him, "They laugh because they want to." I think this sentence is very learned. However, someone told me: "girls laugh, although they don't understand the specific reasons." In short, youth, health, the life in rural communities, the fertile green fields they have worked in, the satisfaction of equal pay for equal work with men, and this blurred moonlight, faint floral fragrance, hazy or true love feeling are all sources of their happiness. "
I think this seems reasonable.
Over the top of the mountain, I saw the groom's home. It's a big tile house with two small horizontal houses. There is an old little red light hanging on the gate. Girls swarmed in. According to tradition, when they go to a wedding, they have a long-standing privilege. Once upon a time, the red flower girl in our area would sneak out of the window of the new house on the first night of her partner's wedding and listen to the sound of the wall. If they hear such a private interview, they will say, "Hey, are you sleepy?" They will run away and laugh; The next day, I had to laugh. But it is also possible that they can't hear anything. Experienced newcomers who have heard of others' cornerstones may not say a word on this happy first night, so that people outside the window will walk away disappointed.
The group of girls walking in front of us hurried into the middle of the children. Do they come to listen to the wall, too?
I picked some camellias in the mountains and prepared to give them to the new rich and the bride. Arrived at the door, I saw a pair of red paper couplets on both sides of the wooden door frame. In the shadow of the red light, eight correct words are displayed: "Sing and carry the road, beaming."
We walked in the door and a green-skinned son came out to meet us with a big smile on his face. He is the groom Zou Maiqiu, the custodian of the rural cooperative. He is short and short, with a pair of beautiful eyes. Many people say he is honest, but a few people say he is dishonest. The reason is that the bride is very beautiful. It is said that beautiful girls don't like honest men. Who knows? Look at the bride.
Dedicate camellia to the groom; We walk to the new house. There, the wooden window is covered with leather paper, with a big red paper hole, delicate window grilles at four corners, carp and bluegrass, and two beautiful vases, next to which are two strong pigs.
We climbed the curtain and entered the bride's room. After the disaster, the girls are still laughing softly and whispering. Hardly had we sat down when they rushed out and laughed all the way outside.
It was not until the room was quiet that we took a close look. There are many people sitting around, and the bride and the bride are sitting on the bed. The bride who saw her off was her sister-in-law. She brought a three-year-old artistry and is teaching him to sing:
Three-year-old artistry wears red shoes.
Stumbling to school,
Sir, don't hit me,
Go back and have some juice. Here we go again.
We stole a look at the bride Bu Cuilian. She doesn't hide her beauty, but she is not ugly. Her face and clothes rack are passable. This shows that the groom is an honest and dishonest role. Everyone in the room is looking at the bride. She is generous and doesn't look shy at all. She snatched my nephew from her sister-in-law's arms, tickled him, made him laugh, then carried him out of the room, peed, and brought him back, wiping him away from me, leaving a faint fragrance.
People lit a kerosene lamp with a glass cover, and the dim light took care of the furnishings in the room. The bed is old and the curtains are not new; A curtain embroidered with red satin is also half new and not old. All the bedding except two pillows are new.
On an old red-painted desk in front of the window, a pile of tin candlesticks with candles were photographed, and there were two small rectangular mirrors. In addition, red paper scissors are pasted on porcelain pots and bowls. Among all these decorations, the most prominent are a pile of exquisite porcelain and half-naked arhats. They listened to the paunch and laughed. Why are they laughing? Even monks should see through the world of mortals and believe that sex is empty. Why are they so happy when they come to someone else's wedding?
In the new house, the people sitting on the bench talking and laughing include the township head, the chairman, the club vet and his cousin. The township head is a serious man. He doesn't laugh at jokes. When his words make people laugh, he doesn't laugh. He is very busy and doesn't want to attend the wedding, but Zou Maiqiu is a cadre in the club and a neighbor, so he can't come. As soon as she stepped into the door, Weng Ma came forward and said:
"The township head is good, we lack a leader." This means that he should get married.
When he becomes the host, he must sit in the bride's room, smoke, chat and wait for the ceremony to begin.
President Ye is a busy man. He has to hold meetings at least twice a day, talk three times and work. In the evening, if you go back late, you will be scolded by Tang Ke. He works hard enough. But the combination of this couple, he had to come. Zou Maiqiu is his right-hand man. He came to congratulate and help, and another undeclared purpose was to supervise their expenses. He gave the traveler five yuan in cash and told them to take tea and rice, red paper and candles, and all the expenses, so as not to become overspent households.
Among the visitors, only the veterinarian said the most. He chatted for a while, and the topic turned to the marriage system.
"Just arrange it so that you don't have to worry about it yourself." The vet said that his beautiful cousin had arranged it, and he was very satisfied. His face was dyed red with distiller's grains and there was a scar. Without arrangement, it is difficult to get such a Tangke.
"Freedom is of course good." The president's cousin is also arranged, and often scolds him, causing his dissatisfaction with arranged marriages.
"The President is right. Arrangement is not as good as freedom. " The township head sided with the president. "There is a folk song, a single road to the pain of old-fashioned marriage."
"read it." The president urged him.
"Old-fashioned marriage is not free, women cry and men complain, and the Yangtze River rises and the mountains are white."
"That's not that bad." The president smiled.
"We don't cry or worry." The vet looked at his cousin proudly.
"You are a blind dog eating shit and hurting yourself." The head of the township said, "Speaking of crying, I think of the customs of Tianjin." The flight attendants bowed their heads and smoked. He didn't go on at once.
"What custom?" The president urged.
"Those who cry and marry women over there have to ask many people to cry temporarily, and dozens of them have money."
"The invited person won't cry, what should I do?" The vet asked.
"Is to please people who cry. When eating, there are men and women who can cry and marry. They are experts in this field. They counted down while crying, as if they were singing, which was beautiful. "
There was a burst of laughter from the girls outside the window. They haven't seen each other for a long time, and they are already practicing listening to the wall. Everyone in the new house, including the bride, smiled, but the township head didn't smile as usual. Those who didn't laugh, and the vet's cousin. Her eyebrows wrinkled.
"How are you?" The vet quickly bowed his head and whispered.
"My head is a little dizzy and my heart seems to be vomiting." The beautiful Tang Ke said.
"Are you happy?" The township head said.
"Did you find a doctor?" Asked the farewell lady.
"She also wants to sleep in a bed with the doctor every night." The president said with a smile.
"Look at you, you are old and not serious, and you are still president." The vet said.
Someone outside said, "It's all arranged. Please go to the main room. " Everyone rushed to the main room, the bride-to-be held the child, followed the couple, and the girls came in. They leaned against the partition, side by side, holding hands, looking at the bride, biting their ears and laughing in a low voice.
There are buckets, laundry baskets and grass drying on the first floor of the hall, all of which belong to the agricultural society. In the middle of the square table, there are two lighted red candles. In the candlelight, you can also clearly see two porcelain vases with camellia branches. Hanging a five-star red flag on the interior wall and sticking a portrait of Chairman Mao.
At the beginning of the ceremony, the officiating people took their place, led everyone, saluted the national flag and Chairman Mao, read out the county magistrate's certificate, said a few words, stepped aside and sat on the high stool with the chairman.
The host announced that the next item was a guest speech. I don't know what the scheduled procedure is, so I put a bride's speech that everyone is most interested in at the end, and everyone had to listen to the guest's speech anxiously.
The president was invited to speak, but he said:
"Let's ask the bride to tell us. We have been married for almost twenty years, and we have forgotten what it's like to be newly married. What can we say? "
Everyone laughed, followed by a burst of applause. In applause, people saw that it was not the bride who spoke on stage, but the veterinarian with a distiller's grains scar on his face. He was straightforward, starting from the domestic situation before and after liberation, and slowly, using a lot of terminology, turned his words to the domestic situation. Hearing this, the housekeeper quietly told the president:
"I have an appointment to talk. I have to go first. You can stay here for a while. "
"I also have something to do. I have to go. "
"You can't go. It is not good to leave. "The steward said," I nodded apologetically to Zou Guweng's mother and got up and left. Chairman had to stay, listen for a while, you can't help it, just like a club cadre next to say:
"What is the international and domestic situation when people get married?"
"You don't know, this is called stereotyped writing; Just talk about two shares, and the bottom is still long. " The cadre of the agency said.
"In the future, we should invent a machine and install it on the podium. People who love empty talk will itch all over when they step on it. If they just want to tickle with their hands, they won't talk anymore. " The president said.
Half an hour later, applause rang again. The bride went up and the vet disappeared. Although generous, the newcomer with red velvet rope tied in his braid blushed. She said:
"Comrades and elders, I feel extremely happy and happy tonight."
The girls giggled, and the bride said, "I'm very happy, very happy", but she didn't laugh and was very nervous. She went on to say:
"We got married a year ago."
Everyone was stunned at first, and then they all laughed, but after a while, they calmly thought about it and knew that she was engaged because of excitement. The bride said again:
"We got married today, and I am very happy." She took out a booklet with a red cover from her new blue uniform pocket and spread it out for everyone to see. "I brought the labor manual. I have two thousand work points this year. "
"This is a joke." A green-skinned son burst into cheers.
"What a good boy." A teenage son said this. He forgot that he was actually a child.
"This is the real dowry." The old president couldn't help sighing.
"I'm not here to be idle and rely on people. I am here to work. I must live well in the club and compete with him. "
"Well, let's compare the Zou family." A green-skinned son smiled and clapped his hands.
"I'm done." The bride blushed and ran down.
"no?" Someone still wants to hear it.
"Too little." Some people are still dissatisfied.
"Please see the bride off." The MC girl said.
The bride-to-be stood up with her three-year-old child in her arms and said:
"I didn't study, and I can't talk." Say that finish, I sat down and flushed.
"I want the groom to talk about it, dare to compare?" Someone suggested.
"Where is the groom?"
"There is no shadow." Someone found out.
"I ran away." Someone concluded.
"run away? Why? "
"Where did it go?"
"What a pity! What is this called? "
"He must be afraid of this game."
"Go and find it. That's ridiculous. The bride-to-be is still here. " The president said.
Dozens of people lit torches, turned on flashlights, and went to mountains, caves, streams and ponds in several ways to look for them everywhere. The president went all the way to the mountains and saw the light from the cellar where sweet potatoes were stored.
"There you are, you guy, you ..." A descendant almost scolded him.
"Why did you run away? Afraid of games? " The old president asked him.
Zou Maiqiu, carrying a small square lamp, climbed out of the cellar, patted the dirt on his body, raised his eyebrows and whispered:
"I'd rather sit on the bench and listen to the cowherd talk. I still take the opportunity to look at the sweet potato seeds in our club and see if they are rotten. "
"You are a good guard, but you are not a proud groom. Aren't you afraid of being oversensitive? " The president's words were half praise and half blame.
After seeing the groom back, we will leave. Stepping on the trees reflected by the slanting moon on the hillside, we went home separately. The girls from the same way haven't started yet.
In the early winter moonlight, waves of breezes filled with tea flowers and fragrance brought girls waves of cheerful and indulgent laughter. They must have started listening to the wall or learned something?
1957 1 1 month
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