A joke to amuse his girlfriend.

Tell jokes to amuse your girlfriend. In the communication between lovers, if you can get proper humor, you can add a lot of points for yourself. Do not underestimate the power of jokes. Being happy can make people relax, so that the heart is easier to get close to. I have collected jokes that make my girlfriend happy. I hope it will help you.

Joke joke: tease your girlfriend 1

Humorous jokes amused his girlfriend.

1. One day, the cow gave the donkey a difficult problem and asked which of the two bugs under the word "stupid" was male and which was female. The donkey racked his brains, but he still couldn't answer. The cow scolded: "What a donkey, male left and female right!" " !

2. Seven years after graduation, I finally accepted a big project to build a 30-meter chimney, with a construction period of two months and a cost of 300,000 yuan, but I had to pay for it myself. It was finally finished at the end of last year. Today, people went to check and accept, and they were scolded to death, and they still had no money. ! The drawings are upside down, and people are going to dig wells!

A drunk accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch. A policeman came up. What happened? Drunk, I don't know, just arrived.

The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. The patient said, I felt sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. One of them passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and gave me two!

5. The tortoise is hurt. Let snails buy medicine. Two hours later. The snail hasn't come back yet. The tortoise is in a hurry to scold. If he doesn't come back, I'm dead! At this time, there was a snail's voice outside the door, and you said I wouldn't go!

6. Someone keeps a pig, and hates and dislikes it, but the pig knows the way back, and it is useless to dislike it. One day, he drove around many times and abandoned the pig. He called home late at night and asked, "Is the pig coming back?" Answer: "I have come back!" " It roared, "let it answer the phone, Lao tze lost!

7. The elephant accidentally stepped on the ant's nest, and the ant crawled on the elephant. The elephant shook its body and the ants fell down. At this time, there was another elephant around its neck, and the fallen ant shouted "strangle it".

8. One morning in computer class, a row of classmates' computers crashed. So a classmate stood up and said, "Teacher, the computer crashed and our platoon died." At this time, many students said, "We are dead, too." Then the teacher asked, "Who else is not dead?" Only one classmate stood up and said, "I'm not dead yet!" " "The teacher said strangely," the whole class is dead. Why don't you die? "

9. Before eating peanuts, monkeys should put peanuts in their buttocks before taking them out. The administrator explained that it had been fed peaches, but the peach core could not be pulled out, and the monkey was scared. You must measure it before eating now.

10, sophomore, girls in the dormitory all like Emil Wakin Chau's songs, and a tape was borrowed by everyone. One day, the girl in the upper bunk asked, "Where is my Emil Wakin Chau? The girl in the lower berth replied, it's in my bed! There was silence for two seconds, and then everyone fell on the bed.

A little joke to amuse girls.

First, sleep in class: a student sleeps in class and is found by the teacher. Teacher, "Why do you sleep in class?" A student, "I didn't sleep!" " "Teacher," then why do you close your eyes? "A student", I am closing my eyes! "Teacher," then why are you nodding? "A student" What you just said is very reasonable! "Teacher" Then why are you drooling? "A student said," teacher, you speak with relish! "

Second, I am very happy to think that my children are afraid of me, but my wife later said: Only you are the most obedient and obedient at home! Go buy me a bag of salt.

3. Once upon a time, there were two people, one named Zhuang and the other named Xiao, who disappeared one day. Zhuang happened to see a group of people fighting, so he went to pull and said, I'll find Xiao! The gang paused and said, are you faking it? Yes, I am!

Fourth, the mother called her son to get up again: Jacques, good boy, it's time to get up. You have heard the cock crow several times. What does it have to do with me? I am not a hen.

5. Chimpanzees accidentally stepped on the bench pulled by gibbons. After the gibbon cleaned it gently and carefully, they fell in love. People ask how they are together. Chimpanzees said with emotion, ape dung! It's all ape shit!

6. The husband took an orchid bowl and solemnly said to his wife, "You can't break the bowl again. This bowl was left by your mother. There are only two left at present, and the others have been left behind by you. " The wife gave her husband a white look and said, "Then don't be angry with me in the future. I was dumped by my mother, too, leaving me alone. "

Seven, I have four children, all very naughty. One day, I came home from work and the children were quarrelling at home. My wife was very happy to see me back and said, it's great that you finally came back. I am very happy to think that the children are afraid of me. Unexpectedly, my wife later said: only you are the most obedient and obedient at home! Go buy me a bag of salt.

Eight, the so-called love at first sight, but it is just a matter of seeing the color; The so-called long-term love is just weighing the pros and cons. The so-called buddies are the best, but they are just arrogant. The so-called sisters are the biggest waves, but they are only pretending. Have a good time.

Khrushchev visited the farm, and the reporter took a photo of him and the pig in the pigsty. The next day, I read a postscript in the newspaper. The third from the left is Comrade Khrushchev.

X. Children are thinking about "heredity and environment". Mother interjected, this question is very simple. Everyone knows that if a child is like his father, it is hereditary. Like neighbors, that is the environment.

Joke: tease your girlfriend 2 1, "I'm a little depressed"

"What's the matter?"

"I haven't seen you all day."

2. "I have an ambition Do you want to hear it? "

"Well, you say"

"Hold your hand through this life"

3. "The other person is applying to enter your world."

"Please pass the review"

4. "Do you know what you look like?"

"Like what?"

"Attract me like the earth"

"In June, the return date is not fixed."

"Ba ..."

"I wish I could stick to you every day."

6. "The strongest wine I have ever drunk"

"It's the gentleness with your head down and your smile."

7. "Why are you so home?"

"Always in my heart."

8. "I went running today."

"I ran a shape that loves you."

9. "I wish I had two souls."

"One chases after you"

"One is waiting for you."

10, "I want to go to different places with you"

"Sleep in a different bed with you."

Joke a girlfriend 3 1. It is said that hitting is kissing and scolding is love, and not hitting and scolding is not kissing and not loving. In order to express my deep affection for you, I decided to hit you and bite you if nothing happened, and scold you for bickering if nothing happened. Look, I value you very much!

2. I don't see the true god, don't kowtow, don't get together with friends, don't nod, don't know right or wrong, don't look back, don't send text messages, don't bow my head, I really want to touch my head, and wish you endless happiness!

3. Time is flowing, life is changing, material desires are expanding, friendship is fading, and my mobile phone is always around, but I can't hear the bell: if I don't contact you again, I will forget your stupidity!

Every time I miss you, there is a breeze blowing in the sky. I think that's how tornadoes form. Every time I miss you, fine sand rises in the breeze. I think this is how sandstorms are formed. Every time I miss you, raindrops float in the haze. I think that's how the Pacific Ocean was formed. Every time I doze off at work, your message appears on my mobile phone, making a confusing sound. I think this is how ghost stories are formed!

5, the husband and wife were robbed when they went out, and the wife was embarrassed and even drove the robbers away. The wife looked at her husband proudly and said, awesome, why don't you praise me? The husband mumbled something, wife, you. . . You are such a man!

6. Oh, no, I almost miss you. I forgot to pay for things, and pork vermicelli was no longer greedy. 1+ 1=3 feels very difficult, crying that the RMB is regarded as a dollar!

7. Although rabbits don't eat grass beside their nests, old cows like to eat tender grass, and good horses don't eat grass back. There are many fish in the sea, but dear, for your health, for your happiness, for your future and for your life, you'd better eat this grass, my lamb!

When the mouse saw that the weasel had caught the chicken, it was jealous and wanted to follow suit. Once, it went to the henhouse and stole a chicken to eat. As a result, he was pecked by a rooster and scolded: what a small guy! Do you want to steal chickens, too?

9. Your eyebrows are very curved and you smile beautifully. Your dimples are shallow, attracting a little attention; Your voice is sweet and clear as a mountain spring; Your figure is gentle and lovely, shocking countless eyes; The fly in the ointment is that farting is always sudden!

10, build a pyramid for you with blessings. The spire is health, followed by happiness, happiness, good luck, happiness and peace. And the basement, so you can run down and smile.