What are the classic jokes in the automobile industry that make people laugh?

1. Engineers from Jaguar and Mercedes-Benz talked about the quality control of vehicles by their respective brands. Mercedes-Benz engineers said that when the new car goes offline, we will put a cat in the car at night and then close the door. If the cat died of hypoxia the next morning, it means that the quality of the car has passed. The Jaguar engineer said, Oh, we are almost the same. We also put a cat in the new car at night. As long as the cat stops running in the car the next morning, the quality will pass.

2. Mercedes-Benz g500, Hummer H2 and Land Rover Range Rover came to the ultimate proving ground for off-road performance: a pit with a length of 30m, a width of 4m, a pit height of 3m and a water depth of1m..

Land Rover went in, and the engine turned off directly. Mercedes and Hummer joined forces to pull him up.

Hummer smoothly into the pit, wading forward without pressure. When it was in into the pit, it tossed back and forth for 10 minutes and stumbled up.

Mercedes-Benz's pit is very flat, except for a slight deceleration, which is not much different from crossing the ground.

Later, our protagonist appeared-Ling Du, a wide-body coupe, came out of the pit directly.

3. Several salesmen have dinner together. Toyota sales proudly said: I am not only familiar with my own brand, but also familiar with competing models such as Volkswagen Chevrolet Buick.

Mercedes-Benz salesman took a sip of wine and said disdainfully, I just need to know the shortcomings of Audi and BMW.

Volkswagen Sales smiled: Hey, are you here to buy a car? Pay the deposit when you enter the door and line up.

A friend asked him what car he bought. A: Chery Jaguar Land Rover Aurora

My friend exclaimed, Shit, you got rich overnight and bought five cars at one go.

Volkswagen has only one car: golf. Stretching is Passat, renamed Magotan, minus one backseat is CC, lengthening is Phaeton, making is Touran, adding three backseats is Xia Lang, heightening chassis is Tiguan, stretching is Touareg, leveling is cool, adding ass is sagitar, and shortening is POLO. . .

6. One day, when Big Brother stopped to leave, he heard a conversation between two young people behind him. One of them said, "Look, wow, Phaeton!" Eldest brother is at ease, and finally someone knows the goods. Just when he was happy, he heard another young man say, "Fuck, there is really an SB to buy."

(Phaeton, Volkswagen produces millions of D-class luxury cars)

7. A man added me to WeChat and said he wanted to talk to me. I said, it's not convenient for me to drive. He asked me: Does your driver drive automatically? I said: voice-activated. He said: impossible, I have never seen it. I sent him a photo of my car and he blocked me. ...

8. Rent

One day, a lady called a taxi. Miss: "Hello! I am at a certain intersection and I want to take a taxi. "

Driver: "What are you wearing?"

Miss: "I wear a white coat and a blue skirt."

Driver: "Where to?"

Miss: "to the knee."

Driver: "…"

9. "The color of this 99 1 is really nice." The beautiful shopping guide in the Porsche shop looked at me with disdain. "Sir, this is 9 1 1."

10. At that time, it was 12, and the car was still under repair. Once, a car was being repaired and the owner came over. It was a woman. I want to say hello to her car after I'm busy. After a long time, I choked up and said something, pointing to the battery and asking, "Master, this is the lighter of the car." Mom, at that time, I gritted my teeth and told myself that life was so hard that some things should not be exposed or laughed. I remember holding on for two seconds and calmly answering her: "Yes, that's right." Then immediately turned around, refraining from laughing, leaving a pair of trembling shoulders for the female client.

1 1. On the expressway, Passat asked Tiguan for help: "Brother, is there any oil in the trunk? Give me some? " Tiguan: "There is nothing in the trunk, but there is something on the engine. Shall I scoop two spoonfuls for you? " An Audi car stopped and said generously, use me, I have more than a dozen bottles in the trunk! A Skoda on the side asked strangely: Does Volkswagen's engine need oil? I also looked at that ruler. I don't see any oil. I thought Volkswagen's car didn't need oil! Magotan said, damn it, I always thought Magotan was powered by burning engine oil. The sagitar driver behind shouted, get out of the way, the shaft is broken and the car is out of control! All the drivers are crying. "The Ling Du in front is too wide to hide!" It's a good thing I'm not involved.