How to use self-mockery correctly

People who know how to laugh at themselves are extremely smart people. He protects himself by belittling himself. In fact, how to use self-mockery correctly?

Last week, I had a drink with a lady who just got a very important job in her own industry. After drinking a few glasses of grapefruit, she told me that she didn't know why she was promoted, and she wasn't even sure if she wanted the job.

I replied that I, like her, was stumbling, but it was getting harder and harder to get along safely.

When I got home from a pleasant night of self-mockery, my little son told me that I had just missed an activity in his school. He also told me that a lawyer friend of mine took her children. This friend's child is in the same class as my youngest son, and my lawyer friend also missed the child's school activities? Criminal record? Yes

I'll send her a short message right away: Who won the worst parent award on 20 13? Me. ?

She replied:? You won't win this prize for long. In a week or two, it will be mine again. ?

What happened to us? All three of us are adult women and are generally comfortable at work and at home. However, we insist on exaggerating our failure in the endless self-mockery game.

The reason why women do this is to regard it as a way of self-deprecation. When we defame ourselves with words, it will make us lower our profile. Even if women are successfully promoted in their careers, they will always lose themselves and can't help but say how hopeless they are.

A study on women on the boards of large British companies shows that they are four times more likely to laugh at themselves than their male colleagues, so they are regarded as weak.

However, it is a big mistake to draw the conclusion that self-mockery is very bad and must be put an end to it. In fact, the question is how to use self-mockery correctly.

A few years ago, a scholar from the University of New Mexico wrote a paper with an interesting topic. Despise yourself and your competitors. This paper proves that men who tell self-deprecating jokes are irresistible to women? But only if they are the best.

Men with low status laugh at themselves, which will only make women stay away from them. If he makes fun of himself for no reason, then the ladies will really conclude that he is really a loser.

Although the purpose of this study is gender relations, its conclusions also apply to the board of directors or the whole workplace. In fact, this conclusion applies to both men and women, but in this respect, the British have an advantage, because they are born with a gift for self-mockery.

For self-mockers, as long as their status and Excellence are beyond doubt, they can regard self-mockery as one of the most powerful weapons.

Laughing at yourself will make others relax their vigilance, make them forget your terrible power and attract them to like you. For example, the only boss I really admire likes to laugh at himself constantly.

Between female friends, self-mockery is like a non-competitive treaty. In fact, I don't think I am the worst parent in Britain at all: if I were, I would keep silent about it. However, when I told my lawyer friend that I was the worst parent, I was actually saying: I am not dangerous to you. Let's get closer.

The more absurd the self-mockery, the better the effect. Please think about the following contemporary self-mockery masters: Tony? Tony Blair and Boris? Justin, Archbishop of Boris Johnson and Canterbury? Warebey (justin welby).

When I interviewed Warebey recently, he told me that compared with his predecessor, he was hopeless, he was boring, had no awe-inspiring sense of sacredness, and his mind was only second-rate. He always feels scared before making an important speech. To some extent, this is all nonsense. However, these words really caught me.

It is dangerous to laugh at yourself only in one case, that is, the person you are talking to may agree with you at any time.

I learned this from my mother. Although she never taught me how to cook, she warned me never to tease the food I just put on the table.

? Oh, my God! This spaghetti is disgusting! ? This will only make guests notice how the spaghetti is overcooked, but they may not notice it if they don't say this. To make matters worse, after hearing this, they had to say politely: where! It's delicious. ?

This kind of self-mockery that needs to be refuted by others is never pleasant. In the final analysis, it is annoying to tell others that you need comfort.

So we can see what's wrong with the self-deprecating ladies on the board. The problem is that the man on the board is not sure that his work is not a board version? Pasta? .

Only when everyone is convinced that a lady's ability is beyond doubt can the lady begin to tell everyone that she is useless.

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