Humorous stories about dating

1. A woman took the train, her period came, and there was no place to put sanitary napkins ... In desperation, she opened the window and went out! Just hit a farmer's face, and the farmer touched his face and said after reading it. I use a fork. .. the train is fast. If I get another piece of paper, I'll be covered in blood! ! ! ! 2. There was a man who had three sons. The eldest son told him to shut up, the second to be polite, and the third to be troublesome. One day the trouble disappeared and the eldest son shut up and went to look for it. He went to the police station, and the police uncle asked him, "What's your name?" "Shut up!" He said. The policeman's uncle said, "Where are your manners?" He said, "Be polite and wait at home." The police uncle asked again, "Do you really want to make trouble?" He replied, "Yes, how did you know I was looking for trouble?" The police kicked him out. 3. Zhou Xingxing: "Miss, you stepped on my foot." Pretty girl: "No, I'm so far away from you." Zhou Xingxing: "I mean, if you accidentally step on my foot, you are stepping on my foot." Pretty girl: "psycho." Zhou Xingxing: "Wow, miss, you have a good eye. I do have a history of neurology, and I usually have seizures when I see beautiful women .. I say something boring to attract girls. It seems that they think they are handsome. Zhou Xingxing: "Miss, you are wrong. I never feel handsome, but I am handsome. "Pretty girl:" Don't be so disgusting. I'm gonna throw up. Zhou Xingxing: "Before you throw up, may I ask you a question?" Pretty girl: "fart quickly." Zhou Xingxing: "Why do you deny my handsomeness without conscience?" Pretty girl: "Get out." A student was caught by the headmaster when he climbed over the wall. The headmaster asked, "Why did you climb over the wall?" The student pointed to his coat and said, "Mi Bang Wei, don't take the usual road!" The headmaster asked again, "How did you get over such a high wall?" The student pointed to his trousers and said, "Li Ning, anything is possible!" The headmaster said angrily, "What's the smell of climbing over the wall?" The student pointed to the shoes: "Xtep, it feels like flying!" " The next day, when the students came out of the main entrance, the headmaster was surprised and said, "Why didn't you turn it over today?" The student pointed to the whole body and said, "Anta, I choose what I like!" " "The headmaster was furious:" I want to remember you! ""The student asked discontentedly, "Why? I'm not mistaken! "The headmaster sneered:" M-Zone, my site is my decision! " 5. An old man goes to Gaochao Village by bus. Sit down for a while. The old man asked the conductor: Is the climax village here? The conductor replied: Not yet. After a while. The old man couldn't help asking again: Is the climax here? The conductor replied angrily: the climax is coming, won't I scream myself? 6. Once upon a time, a man named Shuang died. On the day of the funeral, A Shuang's family painfully shouted A Shuang's name: Shuang Shuang ... Shuang Shuang ... Shuang Shuang ... A passerby passed by, wondering: Everyone is dead. What are you happy about? Hearing this question, A Shuang's family felt even more distressed: A Shuang, ... Shuang, Shuang, Shuang, Shuang ... Shuang died ... Shuang died 7. A monk said to a patroness, "benefactor, you have a bad omen (bra)." The patroness was anxious: "Master, how can I get rid of the ominous sign (bra)?" The monk said, "Even if we get rid of the bad omen. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, where are you from? I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! The college student replied to the enemy's words and was electrocuted. He said, I'm from TV University! 9. Women can't get married because of their small breasts. One day, the blind date said to a man, "I have small breasts." Don't you like it? " The man said, "Is it as big as steamed bread? "That woman is right! On the night of the bridal chamber, the man rushed out of the bridal chamber and knelt down and shouted to the sky, "Oh, my God, Wang Zi steamed bread! ""10. A patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I have been abnormal recently. Pull whatever you eat, cucumber and watermelon, how to return to normal? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit. On the Water-Splashing Festival, everyone splashed water on each other to bless them. Suddenly, someone scolded: Shit, who splashed me? Others advised that throwing you is a blessing. The curse said, come on, who threw boiling water at me? 12. The train was very crowded in Spring Festival travel rush, and a gentleman took advantage of the opportunity of parking to put his ass out of the window to defecate. The inspector under the car found shouting: Fat man with cigar, retract your head 13. I saw a penny on the side of the road and was about to bend down to pick it up. It turned out that there was phlegm in the mouth. Damn it, who threw up so round? 14. Remember the military training under the tree that year? The coach said to the students, "Count off in the first row!" You looked at the coach in surprise, and the coach said loudly, "Count off!" " "So, reluctantly, you turned and hugged the tree! 15. One night, a naked man called a taxi and the female driver stared at him intently. The naked man was furious and shouted: You have never seen a naked man! The female driver was also furious: I don't think you can fucking pay for it! 16. After getting on the bus, a beautiful lady took out a tissue from her bag and wiped her seat hard. When she was about to sit down, she farted. A gentleman next to him heard this and joked, "Miss really loves hygiene. After rubbing for so long, she still wants to blow! "Turn around with a smile and never laugh again.

Opportunity, so I still have to turn myself into trouble.

There is a little wolf. Oh, he was born a vegetarian, not a meat eater. His parents are very worried. As a result, my parents were very pleased to see the little wolf chasing the rabbit one day. Then the little wolf grabbed the rabbit and said, give me the carrot! ..... My scorpion man told me yesterday that the relationship between lovers started with telling dirty jokes, and he didn't tell me or let me tell him, for fear that two people would be impulsive. When telling jokes on a date, you can only improvise, such as exaggerating what you see or doing something more talented.