My wife has a deep opinion of my parents. How can I make my wife stop thinking about this and live a good life?

Thank you for your answers. 1 can't reply, sorry!

A lot of things need to be clarified. My wife's personality is the kind of person who thinks the worst of everyone, so she has no friends. I often advise her not to think too much. I'm afraid her heart is bigger than the solar system and she has too many ideas. She has to care about some unnecessary things. She can't accept my suggestion. To be precise, she will make mistakes after listening.

I don't know if women like to turn over old scores. As long as she is a little dissatisfied, she will turn over and say, I coax her. Later, she often sends me n long stories at home in the middle of the night saying that my parents are not good at this and that, and I don't like to watch them. She took my children to work, and everyone wanted to have a good day. When they got up and saw the news, they didn't have the heart to work all day.

My parents showed us the date of the wedding, and said that they would come over to propose marriage. By the way, we could see that she was pregnant and take her home to wait on her. She refused, saying that my parents had no money and had to pay for it themselves. She didn't want to bear this, or my parents paid for it themselves. I wanted them to come over, propose marriage, and travel to avoid the cold, but she refused all the time and quarreled with me about it, saying that we had to pay again. However, in their hometown, they are not idle. They have been planning our marriage. I said I would pay the money, and my wife didn't say anything. She agreed with this. She told me that I went to school and my brother didn't go to school, which was fair to my brother at home. Her abacus is also very clear, saying that my brother is not responsible for going to school. Everyone in the family feels indebted to my brother, and the married parents have to get married by hundreds of thousands. It's only fair that my parents don't burden us in this matter. After the parents arranged for their younger brother, the daughter-in-law got married and nobody owed anyone. After that, the two children must be on the same level. Don't want me to owe my brother any more. After the parents are separated, the parents should treat them fairly and equally. After that, they will contribute to their parents' affairs, and the eldest son will lend 1000 to children who have no money.

Later, the matter of money fell on us. Considering that the child will spend money in the future, she proposed not to hold a wedding. At that time, my parents were still enthusiastic in their hometown, and the custom in the countryside was that older children would do it later, otherwise my parents and she would be laughed at. But in the end, I thought, there are too many places to spend money and I don't want my parents to lend it to me. I don't have enough money. I thought I had to take care of the children first, but I didn't make the wedding in the end.

His parents didn't ask for a bride price. She said she would give it to her parents like my sister-in-law. I told her that I would give it to her later.

Later, when we quarreled, she kept saying that I made wedding clothes for others and that I had to pay my brother's marriage debt in disguise when I got married. It was annoying. I said I would try to brush out the card for her. She said she didn't want it. She wants to hold my hand and say that I can't give her anything at any time. She just wants to take care of her family. In recent years, I have sent money home, and she always makes me angry. I've been tired of looking at it like this. Then I sent it back, and she asked about the money.

But every time I went home in the past two years, she felt that my parents had been unfair. She didn't even say a word about her marriage, which didn't help her to have children. When my sister-in-law got married, she also paid the hush money (see below). She said she dared not ask her to do anything, but arranged for her to do this and that. My sister-in-law doesn't touch water, but she wants to get food and drink for the children. What happened to her sister-in-law? I don't want to say or ask. I go home once a year at most, and she seldom goes home. I can't look after my parents. She took care of the rear for me, and made me feel at ease to earn money for her. At home, she just mops the floor, washes dishes and washes clothes. She also did it at her parents' house, but she was wronged to do it at my house. She can't handle her mentality well, and she has been setting fire to my backyard, which makes me fidgety.

Five days before my brother got married, my parents gave her 3000 yuan, saying that they would buy us a suit and add something to get married. She didn't want it, but she insisted on it later, but told me that my parents took money to block her mouth, that my parents didn't lend her a dollar when they called her back to help her the most, and that my brother didn't take the money out until he got married. My parents didn't please me this time because they contributed, so they couldn't do anything to her. I told her that the old man intended to give money, and she didn't think it over. Later, as soon as I brought back a dozen dollars, she would say there was any difference between giving 3 thousand and not giving it.

In fact, there are many little things in life that she told me just to find a punching bag. After that, it was over. After I heard it, it was over. The problem is that when she came home this year, her sister-in-law told her that they didn't borrow marriage debts and they didn't care. My mother treats her badly, and she doesn't care. My wife was suddenly unbalanced. She felt that the gap with her previous calculation was too big. My mother had to take her children to the hospital to pay for the examination. She couldn't manage the children well and had to take care of my mother. The family came back from the hospital and asked a few questions. Therefore, both parties involved in the marriage are not serious. She began to say that the debt at home was not for her to get married, but for her to tighten her belt, which led to my parents.

Even without these debts, she doesn't want to honor my parents. As a child, I don't have to pay ten or twenty thousand yuan a year. My parents don't force me to ask for money to play. They all use it in the field and at home. What's wrong with my eldest son giving some money to his family? Is it right to give when there is no debt at home? Young people can get through it with less money. Nothing in the field is done well, and the fertilizer is not in place on time, which will affect the harvest of one year, and the debt will be delayed year by year. Life will be more difficult then.

In her eyes, she is also a parent. Her family subsidizes us and I subsidize my family. She thinks it's unfair, but that's all tens of thousands of dollars I borrowed from her family before marriage. After marriage, I always said that she should stop taking her mother-in-law's money. If she doesn't listen, she will still want it. After asking, she said that my parents were dragging their feet and affected her quality of life.

I was at home, and my immediate supervisor dissolved the whole team. I lost my job. A few years ago, business was bad and I owed money. I pay back four or five thousand yuan to my card every month, and I have to collect all the money every month. There is no extra money at all. It is my fault that she has no money this month, not my parents' fault. After the confinement, she made trouble with me from time to time for more than a year, and then I stopped for half a year, and the debt was paid from her.

At first, she proposed to be a vegetarian in the first half of the next month, but half a month later, the child was hospitalized for eight days. After leaving the hospital, she was busy brewing full moon wine and working in the fields. Basically, she is busy all day, so my mother also prepared three meals a day for her and sent them to her. For the sake of meat, my parents have been poor, building a house for studying, and then marrying a wife. All the money can only come from those acres of land, and the debt of the family has never been broken. So my mother can't cook meat, but she bought her a dozen chickens before the second month. She said she wouldn't eat them in the next month, and made her soup after the next month. It was too tender and not delicious, so she didn't eat it again.

She happens to be in the busy farming season at home, and pollination time is always busy during the day. I was left at home to look after the children. I don't know why the children don't follow her, so I can't go out. In the second half of the month, she was hospitalized by her children, and she was scattered by the full moon wine, so she didn't have time to buy her cooking.

The custom here is that relatives come to see their children for ten days to entertain relatives and take care of their tastes. They don't cook anything that is not spicy, so she can't eat it. The full moon cooked dozens of dishes, and the chef bought food. My parents told her that they had asked the chef to bring her some ribs and trotters back to the refrigerator, but the chef didn't care. Later, she was too young to kill the chicken. Basically, she said she wouldn't eat, and then it became her mouth. We didn't give her meat. She said that she couldn't figure out whether she was having a new moon or a relative. I am very angry and want to laugh. That's a family custom. what can I do? Relatives come to see the children, and I have to drive them away if I have no money. She must do as the Romans do.

Maybe she thinks my parents are not satisfied with her attitude. She bothered me for a year or two, and I didn't say anything to her. This year, she took her children home. The family mentioned how to serve the brother-in-law after confinement. Actually, my brother can cook, so he may not need my mother to do anything. My wife may feel uncomfortable after hearing this, so she told my mother and my sister that she didn't sit still and eat vegetarian food every day. My sister taught my mother a lesson. My mother has no education, so many flowers and intestines, and she doesn't know how to handle things well. My mother later told her how much she suffered in the past, and then told her that, and she has been complaining until now.

She is from the south and doesn't eat spicy food. Later, I learned that she only ate meat for a month and was not a vegetarian. Our local daughter-in-law, Zi Yue, basically doesn't pay attention to food. She always eats with her family as usual. My mother cooked her other dishes that were not spicy, and she gave her special treatment. In the second month, children have to eat breast milk more than a dozen times a day and change dozens of diapers. My mother squatted in the bathroom to help her wash clothes after wiping the urine. My mother is nice to her except that she has no money. Later, she put it another way, saying that it took my parents half a year to invite her back, and I didn't lend her the money for Yuezi. If they have no money, they won't accept the job. They said that I just wanted to ask my parents to have grandchildren, and I didn't spend money and didn't walk around. I spent all my money on the trip home. Although she had no money for a month, they said that my parents were taking care of my children, not her, and my mother served her three meals and had no relatives. She won't remember kindness, but she will hold grudges.

My parents are my wife at the same time. She wants to stand opposite us and let me be with her. I can't do it. It's my fault that I have no money, but I won't always have no money. My parents' family did something wrong. Instead of solving the problem, she told me what good it was for her to turn over old scores with me.

She and I are always pestering each other, so we can't just talk about things.

Mainly money, but I don't earn enough. The three years before and after my marriage were my worst years, and the year when I gave birth was the worst. My mother-in-law asked someone to calculate it for me, and my wife told me that it was a good thing I didn't die. In those years, I also moved her to stick with me. This year, she began to pay off. Slowly I earned more money, but she was also under great pressure. She couldn't help me at home and didn't ask me. As a housewife, she should be able to handle the children at home, but she is always yelling at the children and can't handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. She doesn't like my parents' present position. When something happened at home, she told me that I was tired of working and listening. She can't understand that I earn money to support my family. She doesn't want me to make money alone.

She didn't go to work after she got pregnant, and she didn't have a job before. I suggest that after three months, her fetus is stable, go to the supermarket downstairs to be a cashier for two or three months, or go to an intermediary company to be a friend who doesn't invoice for several months. Bookkeeping can also relieve stress. She does it simply. She refused to post on the Internet again, and she was very happy to see the reply that scolded me, so she didn't want to maintain my appearance at all, and I didn't ask him to go, so I tried again. I wonder what will happen when her children go to kindergarten next year and she returns to the workplace. Her thoughts can't keep up, she is unkempt and unkempt. She asked her to take the children to the mall. She just took the child downstairs for two rounds on the pretext that she had no clothes to wear. I have to worry about the elderly and children, and I have to coax her to prevent any words from catching fire in the backyard. I have to worry about changing her state. I've been tired enough in recent years.

Knowing that she is such a character, I don't tell her many things now. I sent a video and called her to talk about things. I'll ask the child if I have nothing to do, and ask her a few words. If the child is ill, tell her that you have worked hard. I also told my family that she was coming, so don't tell me. If I have something, I will deal with it directly. I didn't put in a good word for her. She thinks my family is deliberately giving her the cold shoulder. I told her that everything at home is trivial and I don't need you.

Now, she only cares about the children, cooking and washing dishes without asking her, and my parents help her when they are free. It can be said that it is very relaxed, and she doesn't want to change herself. I wonder why she can't let bygones be bygones. When she goes to kindergarten next year, she can't stay at home all the time. She will definitely go to work, and everything at home is thriving. Now my work is slowly on the right track. I have been trying to pay back the car loan and save the down payment. I also hope to see her work hard, but she has been stuck in the past and can't get out of her mind. The more she lives, the more she goes back.

Money can be earned hard, and family and peace are very important. When will she understand this truth? I don't know when she can put aside her prejudices and live a good life. If this goes on, maybe we will really have a bad life.

Your wife's situation is quite similar to mine. Let me talk about my feelings!

We didn't ask our family for a penny when we bought a house. My husband earned it by working in Africa for two years. When we got married, there was no wedding. At first, we really didn't care. Later, when pregnant with twins, I will get up and fry an egg as a dish. Now we are full of grievances. ...

The year before last, my uncle bought a house and the family gave 200,000 yuan. ...

Three years before the baby was born, I took care of the twin babies alone, and I wanted to jump off the building several times when I was depressed. No one really cared about me except my biological parents!

A woman is willing to save money for you and spend a hard time with you. Please cherish, don't challenge her bottom line-please treat her with heart!

The hardest time for a woman is when she is pregnant and has a baby. If you can't protect and take care of her in the most difficult time, what can you say about loving her?

In fact, the main contradiction with in-laws is still on her husband. If you treat your wife well enough to heal all the wounds in her heart, she really can't control it!

Women's injuries in the second month may be remembered for life, because that's when they are most lonely and helpless. ...

If you really want to live with your wife, please check yourself first. How much position does a good woman who is willing to accompany you to suffer hardships and help you save money occupy in your heart? Do you love him? Where were you when she needed you most?

All wounds can be healed, but you need enough love. Whether you are happy or not depends entirely on yourself. Don't let the person who loves you wait for too long, your heart will get cold after a long time.

These words are from the bottom of my heart and represent everyone's point of view. I hope all love will respond and all the efforts will be worthwhile!

First, you said that children have to go to school when they are older, and they have no house, no car and no money. As a husband and head of the family, you have been married for at least six or seven years until your children are about to go to school, but during this period, you have not made any money to let your wife and children enjoy happiness and improve their quality of life. You still blame your wife.

Second, your wife's experience is similar to mine. Now I especially blame my in-laws, especially that kind. Married for three years, 20 19 Some children hate their in-laws more and more since they are pregnant and confinement. I married my in-laws in a poor family, and the money I spent on wedding photos, wedding photography, round-trip fares and wedding ring clothes added up to more than 20 thousand. I told my mother that it was the money paid by the man's parents to decorate the house. I am not satisfied with getting married. I put up with it.

Third, from pregnancy to birth, caesarean section. I spent 30 thousand yuan on it myself. I didn't eat breakfast when I was confined, and my mother-in-law made me cry four times when I was confined. After confinement, I take care of my children while doing business. The children are crying in bed and I have to work, so I complain more and more that my in-laws are idle at home and don't help or ask them to pay. Next month. The baby doesn't sleep at night, stays up until the day and wants to sleep, and then wakes up.

Fourth. I can particularly understand your wife's feelings. My suggestion is that you'd better change your attitude, because you haven't experienced what happened to your wife. If you can see my comments, I hope you will be better to your wife. Try to make your wife happy. Give your wife a sense of security. If you are still complaining about your wife. You take care of the children at home. Let your wife go to work, your salary is not high. You will know how great your wife is and how lucky you are to find such a good wife. Cherish it.

I am relieved to see so many people talking about you. In addition, I would like to ask, your parents have no money to buy meat, so your husband and father can't put some money at home for them to buy? Or does your family think that your wife should eat a little rice in the second month like a woman in the old society? I gave birth to two children, and my mother-in-law didn't buy a piece of meat. My husband bought it, and he cooked it for me. To tell the truth, as a woman, her mother-in-law can ignore it after all, but only if her husband knows. As long as the husband is good, outsiders are floating clouds. Think about it yourself and discuss it well. Don't think these things are trivial. Forget it. Is it worth it? It's just a blur!

It's similar to my situation. I'm trying to heal, and they think it's a trivial matter. His parents didn't even bother to talk about it. My idea is, if I can't wait for the apology and the man's awakening, I will slap my ass and leave when the child is older, and I will definitely not have a second child ... child 1 1 year old. Although many people advised me to have a second child, I didn't even think about it. The grievances of that year are unforgettable.

Tell my story.

I have a nursing mother. My baby is just five months old. They are both from the countryside. They have been classmates since middle school. After graduating from college, they fell in love and got married. His family condition is not good. My family is neither rich nor expensive, but it is better than his. When I married him, I didn't ask him to hold a wedding. My parents confiscated his bride price money. His family gave me tens of thousands, but on my wedding day, my father gave me the money in my wedding quilt, and besides. My parents think my husband is very nice, and there is nothing wrong with him in these materials. Before giving birth to a baby, my husband and I went home for a few days with the elderly during the Chinese New Year holiday. At that time, I felt that my parents-in-law were fine and there would be no contradiction between us. I used to feel really lucky until I gave birth to a baby, and my mother took care of me here for the next month. When the baby was born, the mother gave the baby 6000 yuan as a meeting gift and gave the mother-in-law 2000 yuan as a gift for the baby. My father-in-law was not here then. After the baby was born, I haven't seen him open the video to see the baby once. One night, I overheard my parents-in-law calling and talking about the 6000 yuan my mother gave her. My father-in-law said that the money should be given to her (to me) and to you (to my mother-in-law). My mother and I both heard it. We are confused. Didn't we give it to my mother-in-law? Why should I give her the child's money? This is one thing; Besides, after the baby was born, my brother took his sister-in-law and my 3-year-old niece from Guiyang for 9 hours to see the children in Shanghai, and arrived on Tuesday night. My parents-in-law called on Friday night to say why she hasn't left yet. By the way, my brother and sister stayed in a hotel with their children and paid for their own rooms, so they came over for dinner during the day and called their relatives in Shanghai on Sunday. So my brother will go back to Guiyang next Monday. My mother-in-law knows this. There are two people on the phone complaining that my brother's family has lived here for a long time. You know, we rented a house. Even during my pregnancy, I paid the rent together, and my brother's family didn't live here. This is the second thing. Later, the child was almost full moon, and he said that his father-in-law would come to see the child. He came empty-handed, not to mention the money for the meeting. He didn't even see any little clothes and socks. He came to stay for a week and then left. Later I learned that I couldn't stay in the factory. I don't know whether I resigned or was fired. I stopped by before returning to my hometown. I went back to my hometown on National Day, and my baby was two months old. When I got home, my parents-in-law gave the baby a red envelope, each of which was 1000, which was the only money they had given since the baby was born (I suspect it was brought by my mother for 2000). I'm surprised how I suddenly gave money, unlike their style. I didn't know it was him until I asked my husband. My grandparents didn't say anything at all, and they didn't need to give money, and they didn't know how many clothes to buy. My husband mentioned it to them, which is why they have 2000 yuan for the meeting. My father-in-law is coming to work in Shanghai, and the rented house is not big. I'm still breastfeeding. I feel it will be inconvenient to live with my father-in-law every day. So I told my husband to come back next year. A few days later, he sneaked in without telling my husband. When he arrived in Shanghai, he told us that it was a good thing to live in the factory and come over on weekends. I think I can stand it. Then I'll stay for a few days for hemorrhoids today and take a day off tomorrow. There used to be a small room at home where my husband slept. He has stopped sleeping with me and the baby since the second month, and there is another room where my mother-in-law lives with her husband and sister. Yes, that's right. His sister lives with us, and I got a job. So when my father-in-law came, he gave him the small room, and he slept with me and the baby. The day before yesterday, yesterday and two days later, the baby was awake and crying every night. Having said that, I want to say that my father-in-law and I are really unhappy, even with my husband. My salary is higher than my husband's. I have never spent his money since I got married. I also paid for the pregnancy check-up, and even went to the delivery room for caesarean section. I'm still transferring money to my husband. He has no money on him, so he is poor. Speaking of which, I'm 10 thousand a month, too. I don't know In the eyes of their family, it's okay. This is their home. They can come and go at will, but not in my house. I've been wondering for two days whether I got married or sold it to his family. I don't want a divorce anymore. I said rudely, I don't have to suffer indignities after divorce, so I will raise children, because I basically pay for the children now. Divorce means I don't have to suffer.

I'm like your wife. This is a long marriage. My parents listen to me. Boys are nice, take care of their parents and have a good personality. Lack of money, forget the bride price. Later, in order to save his money, he only held a wedding in his hometown, saying it was a wedding, without a wedding car (at that time, it was popular to pick up the bride with a car, and my dad said forget it, be frugal), without a dowry (I bought some furniture myself) and without jewelry. That's how I married him with tens of thousands of dollars I saved. My husband's family didn't take care of me when I gave birth. Anyway, I think we live separately. Just live your own life. Things will pass and good times will come. Then one year, a man cheated me out of more than 50 thousand yuan I had saved together, saying it was business. In fact, he is going to do pyramid schemes. Forgive him and comfort him for the future life of the two children. Think of it as a serious illness and I spent money! After two years of peace, the man found a lover. Because the two children are still young, I gave them to my parents and worked with them in other places. Although the wound in my heart is still there, I will get married and forget the past. Suddenly one day, God couldn't take it anymore and played a joke on my husband and wife. There was a sudden earthquake that day. We live in the dormitory on the eighth floor. He is still sleeping. I have opened the door and left. My first reaction was to drag him away. The child needs a father. I'll go back and get something valuable. Seeing the back of his departure, I don't forget to take a look at the corridor where his mistress lives. I see, wake up). From then on, we are close at hand and our hearts are far away. Women are cold-hearted, and men think silly women are popular with him for gambling.

My married parents said that my husband's family didn't have much money. Don't ask for tens of thousands of dollars like others. Don't buy any gold or anything Be nice to your in-laws after you get married. My husband has only one son and two aunts. Engagement and marriage are always more than 10 thousand, and I didn't buy it either My newly married mother-in-law and father-in-law need living expenses every month, and my husband, an idiot, took our salary and left us with insufficient living expenses. For months, I talked about my husband. I don't know if I want it again. My husband didn't give it anyway. Later, due to serious pregnancy reaction, I resigned and went home. I plan to spend my pregnancy at home. Before getting up in the morning, my mother-in-law said that there was no money at home, and there were still twenty dollars left. I felt sorry for them, so I gave them 2000 yuan and packed my things and went to my mother's house. They have no money. Aren't they uncomfortable at home? The result is ... ah, forget it, sad.

I have great sympathy and understanding for your wife. That's how I got here. I've never been to my husband's house and lived my own life. My husband is also a person who doesn't understand his wife, but he is obedient to me. Only I know the hardships and grievances of my life. Cherish the pillow people who are willing to endure hardships with you!

I think the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not handled well and it has something to do with her husband. You actually care more about your wife. She knows nothing. My mother-in-law bought a house and a car for my husband. My mother-in-law didn't give me a dime from the first time I went to her house to the birth of the child. She thinks it makes sense. My husband is still annoyed with my family every day. We are also living together now, and our hearts are cold. Some people have ruthless genes in their blood.