Complete works of classic funny sentences

1, what does that man look like? The pixels are relatively low!

2, playing dumb, if done well, it is stupid to be called great wisdom; Well done, it is called deep.

3, life into the play, such as Huangmei opera, yellow and hopeless.

4. Mom said: How should I treat her in the rebellious period? How did she treat me during menopause?

5. When life turned everything into black humor with malice, I went with the flow and turned myself into a hooligan with higher education.

6. The most beautiful sentence in the world is not that I love you, but that Bill Gates has decided to transfer all his property to your name!

7, since I can play QQ, I found that my pinyin is getting better and better, and reading has no such effect.

8. Happiness is a comparative thing, and you can only feel it when there is something at the bottom.

9. If you drink a glass of milk every day for 1200 months, you will live to 100 years old!

10, primary school for five years, eight years old, grade one, why did you graduate at the age of thirteen? What did you do that year?

1 1, I have black cats, you have white cats, and then let them have zebras. What do you say?

12, if you are willing to die, I will bury you!

13, the time is not getting up, but how long you can sleep.

14, people who like me are good people, people who don't like me are bad people, and people who hate me are not people.

15, men quit smoking just like women lose weight, there will always be tomorrow.

16, the most attractive person is Master Kong, and thousands of people hit on him every day.

17, if you don't care, how can you have so many emotions?

18, from primary school to university, the only constant is a heart that doesn't want to learn.

19, it's useless to join qingguo college without class.

20. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let others find out!

2 1, just say hello when I meet you, and then run home for half an hour.

22. Get the hall up, get the kitchen down, kill the wooden horse and climb over the fence.

There is no Great Wall in the world. Every time a man gives up a woman, the woman puts a brick on the ground. After a long time, there will be the Great Wall!

24, freezing three feet is not a cold day, and the three layers of the lower abdomen are not a cold day.

25. These two lips can fill a big basin.

No matter how ugly you are, I still love you

27. It's not that you don't laugh. When you laugh, the powder falls off!

28. I still remember when I was a child, I held spicy strips in one hand and a dime of water in the other, and I ate with relish.

29. When a sow goes up a tree, that's when I fall in love with her.

30. I finally found myself forming a habit, if depravity is a habit.

3 1, I'm a little crazy, and my speech is a little shocking. Please call me Lei Feng!

If you also have a friend who likes to stay up late, please cherish him, because you may not know when he will die.

33. Half the troubles in life are caused by saying "yes" too quickly or saying "no" too slowly.

The biggest difference between doing and not doing is that the latter has the right to comment on the former.

35. Life grinds us around and makes us roll further.

36. I was depressed for a long time: who is the boss Li in the bear haunt? Is he going the same way as Blackie?

37. I hope that one day I can double-click my wallet with my mouse, then select a hundred-dollar bill, press CTRL+C, and then hold CTRL+V all the time.

38. Sometimes I feel that life is really fun, but sometimes I feel that life is playing with me.

39. Wechat is so awesome that it is difficult to make a mobile phone into a walkie-talkie.

40. As long as you put your heart and soul into it, there is no indestructible relationship.

4 1, your complex facial features can't hide your simple IQ!

42. If you can't pee in the pool, it's short; if you pee outside the pool, it's soft.

43. I want to be as thin as a lightning bolt to illuminate all the wretched fat people.

44, dry wood meets fire, that is called Ming Sao, wet wood meets fire, that is called man show.

45. Nongfu Spring is a little sweet, and men talk a little.

46. Girl, there are no shop assistants after this village.

47. Let me count on my fingers. There won't be another good man like me in this half century!

48. Cheating is not popular now, but writing blank papers is popular.

49. Count the plums in the corner and tell me who you love. If you don't say anything, it's your deskmate.

50. I want to cry, but I don't know how.

5 1, it rains all night, and there is always a traffic jam when you are late.

52. There are no women who can't handle it, only men who can't fool.

53. Books are best friends. The only drawback is that it has deepened my myopia, but it is still worth it.

54. Amitabha, if you dare to beat the poor monk, you will lose face to Jesus.

55. Yangtze River Yangtze River, I am the Yellow River, I am the Yellow River, damn it, I am the Yellow River.

56. I found that I have been making underpants for so many years, and I have to go on with everything.

57. I want to be kind to all those who say I am fat. After all, they are thinner than me.

58. Reality raped the past, leaving the seeds of evil, called memory.

59. Don't tell me the stories of ordinary people.

60. Never hang yourself from a tree. Try a tree nearby.

6 1, gorging, obviously wolves and tigers, and swallows.

62. Everything should be optimistic, and life can be embarrassing.

You will be happy if you don't listen to me. So you don't understand my humor.

64. There is no traffic. Who will follow me with wifi?

Don't say I've changed. It seems that you haven't reached that qualification.

66. The sorrow of every nearsighted person: The world is a plane without glasses. 30 meters away, hermaphrodite, 50 meters away, regardless of human and animal.

67. I overestimated my position in your heart, but I also underestimated your position in my heart.

68. Sorry, the signature is too personal, which makes the system unable to display it. Please refresh.

69. I received a short message yesterday asking me to remit money to an account quickly. I replied: I have already remitted it. She replied: You are a liar.

I want to put you in my fish tank, in my cupboard, no, in my backpack.

7 1. Love is a joke, which kills others and hurts yourself.

72. There are two kinds of looks, one is good-looking and the other is ugly. You belong in the middle, so ugly.

73. If you were not party member of our party, our party would bring you in. If you are party member of our party, our party will expel you.

74. If you treat me like a game, I will abuse you to death.

75. Wake yourself up more handsomely every day. As a handsome guy, my handsomeness is the pain that you can't look directly at.

The more people I know, the more I like animals.

77. In this world, killing a Q pet is more difficult than killing a person.

Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is married.

79. Stay with me for the purpose of loving me, and take forever as the deadline.

80. Every Monday at school is the busiest time for us to study, because we keep one eye on our homework and the other on the head teacher!

8 1, the most painful distance is that you are not with me but in my heart.

82. I usually write two situations: one is that I have lost my mind, and the other is that I want to pretend to be forced.

83. We didn't have a date on Valentine's Day, and we didn't confess on April Fool's Day. Tomb-Sweeping Day had better be worshipped.

84. I heard that something happened in Yuncheng, Heze, Shandong! It rained and two ants died.

85. Although it is easy to attend classes, it is not easy to understand. Listen and cherish it.

I dare not look into your eyes, because I saw the gum in your eyes yesterday.

87. What is expected is the play, and what is unexpected is the plan.

88. I used to be thin, and I will be thin in the future, so I will gain weight for a while now, otherwise my life will be incomplete.

89. I am a passer-by who you turn around and forget. Why should I spend time with you on earth?

90. I was told that nothing is more complicated than love. I dropped a math book in his face.

9 1. The world belongs to us and our sons, but ultimately to those grandchildren.

92. If one day I answer the phone in a strange tone, please be sure to know that I am either abducted or numb.

93. You take your overpass and I'll take my underground passage.

94. Don't touch it! I can't even find my own breasts.

95. It has to be admitted that times have changed a lot. Not love, not hate, but familiar people, gradually becoming strangers.

96. These days, you can't rely on yourself and want to rely on others?

97. Think of Jin Ge's iron horse in those days, and look at today's stalking.

98. Life is like bullshit, which gets weaker and weaker.

99. Now that there are more and more billionaires, I only have one hundred million, which is still a memory.

100, class is like pregnancy, vomiting and sleeping. A holiday is like a stream of people. Has it started? It's over.

10 1, shoot at the sky every day for beauty.

102, don't keep giving me knives and rubbing my medicine.

103, who turned over his first page and said it, and then gradually deleted it from the first page.

104, cosmetics are women's confidence; For men, this is an illusion.

105. In the supermarket, I saw a bound crab climb from the freezer of 9 yuan 18 to the cupboard of 9 yuan 28. I was in tears.

106, it was that period of compulsory education that occupied my youth.

107, time is really precious, just one second before the toilet was taken away by others.

108, since you say that I am a scourge, it will be a scourge for thousands of years!

109, there are no white pies in the sky, only white bricks.

1 10, you can be arrogant, but can you show off a bright future in an ostentatious manner?