Simple English jokes and Chinese translation?

Jokes are humorous oral stories with rich contents and unexpected endings. Jokes cover almost all areas of people's lives, including political jokes, economic jokes, family life jokes and jokes about national character. I've arranged it, welcome to read!

A dead fly, a dead fly

Mr Smith: Waiter, there is a dead fly in my soup.

Waiter: Yes, sir, I know-it was the high temperature that killed it.

Mr Smith: Waiter, there is a dead fly in my soup.

Attendant: Yes, sir, I see. It was scalded to death.

Christmas service Christmas prayer

It was a cold and foggy Christmas morning. In the dead of winter after a heavy snow, only a farmer and a priest managed to come to the church for morning prayers.

"Well," said the priest, "I don't think it is necessary to hold a ceremony today."

"Well, I don't think so." The farmer said. "If only one cow appeared during feeding, I would still feed it."

It was a cold Christmas morning, full of fog and heavy snow. Only a farmer and a priest managed to go to church to pray.

The priest said, "I think it is meaningless to pray today."

"I don't think so." The farmer said, "as long as there are cows when feeding, I will still feed them."

Office Christmas party office Christmas party

"Will you go to the Christmas party in the office tomorrow night?" The young man asked his colleague Viduchina.

"Well," his friend replied, "I'd love to, but I'm afraid I have to stay at home. If I stay out too late, my pet will be very worried. "

"pets?" The young man replied, "I didn't know you had one." What is veduchina? "

"A centipede"

"centipede? This is very unusual. " But that's okay. Why don't you bring him with you? "

"Will you go to the Christmas party organized by the company tomorrow?" A young man asked his colleague.

"Of course I want to go," my friend replied, "but I must stay at home, because my pet will be worried if I go back too late!"

"pets?" The young man replied, "I didn't know you had a pet." What kind of pet is it? "

"A centipede."

"centipede? This is very common. That's not a problem, you can take it with you! "

He must be bragging.

A man is bragging about how good his country is. Finally, he began to describe the tall buildings in his country.

"There is a building so high that it took my friend Alex 72 hours to fall from it!"

"My God!" His friend said. "He must be dead!"

"Of course. He has been without food and water for three days! "

A man is bragging about how incredible his country is. Finally, he began to talk about how tall the buildings in his country are.

"There is a tall building, and it took my friend Alex 72 hours to fall from it!"

"My God!" His friend said. "Of course he must be dead!"

"Of course. He has been without food and water for three days! "

: drunken humor

Wife: Honey, you looked very drunk last night, and you kept repeating the same words at the dinner table.

Hu * * * and: Really? Then don't believe anything a drunken man says. By the way, what did I tell you?

Wife: I love you, dear.

Wife: honey, you looked really drunk last night. There is always something nagging at dinner.

Husband: Really? Never believe what a drunk says. By the way, what did I say?

Wife: I love you, dear.