English jokes Very short, hurry up, thank you

The mean man's party.

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"

The Stingy Man's Treat

A notorious stingy man finally decided to treat himself to a treat. When explaining to a friend how to find his home, he said: "You go up to the fifth floor, look for the door in the middle, and then use your elbow to ring the doorbell. When the door opens, use your feet to push the door open."

"Why do you have to use my elbows and feet?"

"You have to use both hands to carry the gift. God, you don't come empty-handed, do you?" replied the miser .

Which woman?

One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.

On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit. When I finally entered the house, I called out. "The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."

My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?"

Which woman?

One night I drove my husband's car shopping. When I came back, I found the car body covered in dust, so I scrubbed it for a while. When I finally walked into the house I yelled, "The woman who loves you most in the world just scrubbed your headlights and windshield."

My husband looked up and said, "Mom Coming? ”