What is the coldest joke you have ever heard?

In ancient times, there were two in-laws who always bickered. One is called Liu, nicknamed Pockmarked. Let's just call him Liu Pockmarked. The other is called fourth year, the fourth year. One day, two in-laws passed by Nian's home. Pockmarked Liu asked Nian's four in-laws: What was this land planted last year? Four years ago, I stopped talking about it. Last year, when I planted hemp seeds and hoed the ground, my name was Liu:-(I left peas, and my son's name was Liu:-(I left hemp seeds, and the peas were half pitted. This infuriated pockmarked Liu, which led to a good word and I had a plan. When I walked in front, I saw a bubble of donkey shit, kicked the road with my feet and married my family.

I remember there was a mentally retarded person named Zhang Yong in our village, and everyone called him "Xiao Zhang". About 30 years old, tall, with long hair and a beard, it seems that the feeling of MengMeng always brings all kinds of funny events to our village, which makes people laugh.

Once, he squatted in the corner of someone else's house, clutching his stomach. A passerby saw him and took him to Xiaozhen's office in the village.

Doctor: "What's wrong with you!" " "

Xiao Zhang: "I have a stomachache."

Doctor: "What did you eat yesterday?"

Xiao Zhang mumbled something for a long time, but the doctor couldn't understand what he was saying, so he gave him some medicine to relieve pain and diarrhea and let him go.

The next day, Xiao Zhang's stomach stopped hurting, and he was playing happily with a puppy on the roadside. Unexpectedly, one accidentally bumped into a tree and his nose was bleeding. At this moment, he remembered yesterday's doctor and hurried over.

Xiao Zhang: "My nose is bleeding."

The doctor knew that his IQ was low, so he only got him two pills yesterday, even if he drank them all at once.

Hearing this, the doctor was startled, thinking that he had taken medicine, and quickly examined him. Due to nervousness, there was blood on Xiao Zhang's nose, and the doctor didn't find any traces of bumps. After the inspection, there is nothing unusual! While pondering, I poured a pot of cold water for Xiao Zhang to clean. After washing, the doctor looked at the wound on his nose and finally knew what was going on. So he stopped the bleeding, took the band-aid and sent him away. When he left, Xiao Zhang also asked, "It won't flow in the future, will it?"

The doctor smiled: "You will have to bleed again next month".

A buddy, after drinking in the hotel, go out for some air.

I just saw the traffic police checking drunk driving on the road opposite the hotel.

Seeing the traffic police holding an alcohol tester and letting the passing driver blow it,

This guy also went to join in the fun! !

"Come on, give me a punch! ! "

Traffic police: "Why don't you drive?"

This guy doesn't scratch, he needs to blow twice.

Traffic police: "If you drink too much, get out of here. Stop it."

This buddy is impatient: "well, look down on me, right?" Wait! ! "

After two minutes, the buddy drove over: "Come on, blow it for me, who the fuck doesn't have a car!" " ! ! "

then ...............................................................................................................................................................................

1; One day, I was on a business trip I got on the train and a young man went to the toilet, but someone was there. But he couldn't help it now, so he put his ass out of the window and walked out stubbornly. At this moment, a stewardess just came up and shouted at the young man, hey, young man, don't eat the fried dough sticks in your stomach.

This joke is very funny. I wonder if the groom at the scene laughed the loudest? ......

During the Spring Festival, a southerner asked a friend in the northeast in the street: How cold is it here in winter? The friend said: you just add this lamppost!

What will a horse become after crossing the river? Answer: Hippo.

What happens when a black cow jumps into milk? Answer: cows.

A deer can't figure out what it will look like after hanging itself. Answer: giraffe.

I went to buy some daily necessities two days ago, bought necessary daily necessities in the supermarket, and passed a roadside stall on my way home. A customer bought a stainless steel monofilament ball to wash the pot and bargained with the stall owner. The customer asked, how much is a stainless steel monofilament ball? The stall owner replied: one yuan each, and the customer said: Why is it so expensive? Let's buy it for three yuan. The stall owner immediately replied: I can't come, you have to give me at least 80 cents! Another customer who bought the goods smiled and said, you are both mathematical wizards!

One day, the polar bear was bored, so he pulled out his own hair, one or two ..... After a while, the polar bear pulled out his hair, and then a gust of wind blew in, so cold.

One day, Xiao Ming sent a message to his ex-girlfriend saying, "You are going to be angry." Xiao Ming's ex-girlfriend didn't understand what Xiao Ming meant, so she asked Xiao Ming. Xiaoming said helplessly, "Because I lost my USB flash drive."