Ask a bunker joke, not too long! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! (the slightly evil kind)

Just flirting with someone else's WeChat on the bus, I suddenly heard the voice of shaking WeChat behind me.

The landlord suddenly had evil thoughts, and his mobile phone was set to mute and vibrate. At first glance, the avatar is the goods.

So the landlord sent him a message: "Being original is divination every day. Today, you are on the No.9 bus, carrying a brown leather bag. Please get off the bus as soon as possible, or there will be a catastrophe. "

When we stopped at the next stop, the goods got off the train directly. ...

Sometimes I really want to run away from home.

Sometimes I really want to run away from home.

But if I disappear, my parents should be worried, and they will definitely take action and post notices everywhere.

The content of the notice will be roughly: "We have vacant rooms for rent, and the price is negotiable."

This car can't drive, it can only push.

On the road, a buddy is pushing a Volkswagen golf slowly forward, and passers-by look askance.

An old man couldn't bear to pat him on the shoulder and said, "Young man, is the car broken?"

The buddy tried to raise his head and apologize to the uncle: "I have drunk too much, and I can't drink any more."

My roommate bought a ticket from the conductor when he was in a hurry to get back to school.

When checking in, the ticket inspector said, "Please take out your disability certificate!"

Roommate's mouth is "ah, ba, ya, da", and his hand is still gesticulating.

Later, the ticket inspector had no choice but to let her get on the bus.

The elder sister dared not speak all the way, and later scolded the scalper for more than a month!

You are not alone in the battle

Four people fight BOSS, three people die, and only one person fights there.

A buddy sent a sentence: "Come on! You are not alone! "

As a result, he replied, "Go away, you are not human!" "

My boss asked me to translate Japanese.

I am a Japanese major and work in a small import and export company.

Today, my boss received a fax order in Japanese and threw it on my desk, saying, "Help me translate it into adult language."

My friend changed the public password.

A friend left his job and secretly changed everyone's computer password before leaving.

The next day, a former leader called helplessly to ask for the password.

My friend hung up the phone without saying a word and sent a message: "Go to hell." Then turn it off.

It turns out that the new password is "Nikus".

Repair your broken ribs.

Doctor: Your X-ray shows that your ribs are broken.

Patient: What should I do?

Doctor: That's all right. I have fixed it for you with PS.

My wife says she has no appetite.

It's my wife's turn to cook. She says she's sick and has no appetite.

I have to cook.

I didn't expect my wife to jump over as soon as the food was served, and even smashed two bowls of rice and said, "You said it was strange. As long as I don't have to cook, I will have an appetite immediately! "

You have to pay it back sooner or later.

When we are young, we all make mistakes. We always call girls in their twenties aunts and boys uncles.

So now I deserve it, and I will pay it back sooner or later. ...