Blue friendship: report on straight men's routine of picking up girls

Last month, a child sent me such a question in a private letter: "Lan Da, what routines do you have for straight men to chase girls?"

As a strict straight man, I thought for a long time and replied, "I have to think about it and tell you when I think about it."

Then I thought about it for a week and discussed it with several straight men for another week. I was surprised to find that the routine of chasing girls was surprisingly similar. So I wrote this article to show some vulgar routines and psychological changes of straight men chasing girls.

First of all, we should understand the definitions of "straight man" and "straight man cancer", because many people often confuse the meanings of these two words.

Baidu's explanation is this: the so-called straight man refers to a man who only likes women under any circumstances. That is, heterosexual men

Straight male cancer is a satire on netizens who live in their own world outlook, values and aesthetics. It always shows displeasure and dissatisfaction with each other and is slightly masculine.

So straight men are not equal to straight men's cancer, but they include straight men's cancer.

1, after the definition, let's talk about why straight men like you. It can be classified into two categories: love at first sight and long-term love. (One day in a day ...)

There has been a simple and rude saying since ancient times:

The so-called love at first sight is nothing more than seeing the color, and long-term love is just weighing the pros and cons.

Because you have big breasts, fair skin and beautiful appearance, I can like you immediately. You are very talented and rich, so I like you after comparing with others.

2. After falling in love with you, some straight men will be shy and will always put on a cold look at you, but their eyes will drift to your chest ... no, it's your body.

Sometimes I often meet him, but I will pretend not to see him. This kind of arrogant behavior belongs to a better saying-"unrequited love".

3, but fortunately, most straight men who are going to chase you will take the initiative to chat with you first.

Straight men will talk about all kinds of topics and find all kinds of reasons to care about you.

"Drink more hot water", "Wear more clothes" and "Don't stay up late" are the three golden sentences that straight men regard as classics.

Straight men always want to create an intimate image for themselves, but many people can't grasp it well and eventually become Rory's Luo Jiaying version of Tang Priest.

To tell the truth, chatting is called picking up girls, and if it breaks down, it becomes harassment.

Boys think it's important to have the same topic. Some people will browse your circle of friends, Weibo and even QQ space to find topics, and want to know your preferences through these.

In an episode of the British drama Black Mirror, it is said that the husband copied a "wife" with a few words in his social account after his wife died, which shows that social networks reflect a person's way of thinking and likes and dislikes. Although some girls are disgusted with this behavior, it has proved to be very useful.

Boys always like to add what you know or like to chat intentionally or unintentionally, in the hope of reaching some kind of relationship with you.

4. He will become a loyal party supporter in your circle of friends or Weibo. Even if you send a punctuation mark, he will lick a few words on his knees (this trick can also be used to test who is interested in you, both men and women). People are more or less eager for attention and recognition, especially the content sent out on social software. This routine can not be ignored for girls who are not outstanding.

He will also start to brush the screen in the circle of friends and pay attention to whether you like him or not. If you order it, he will secretly rejoice for a long time and take it as your approval for him.

5. Straight men are afraid of being labeled as "boring" by girls. After all, losing face and money is enough. If it is boring, it is no different from toad. Therefore, at this stage, many boys will uncharacteristically post some interesting content in their circle of friends, and sometimes share it with you separately.

Many people will label themselves as "funny" and "warm man" in order to make themselves interesting. Actually, this kind of behavior is quite funny. After all, it is too cheap to tease warm men now, and not everyone can become a basket of pigs.

6. Self-portraits will increase.

So once you see a straight man suddenly taking a lot of selfies, there is no doubt that he must have someone he likes.

Let's take selfies, but many straight men take selfies like monkeys for fun. Very spicy eyes. For example, the skinny upper body is half-naked, and the brain is full of pictures of fat people drinking, as well as the melancholy pig stream of "crying alone, true love is invincible" and so on.

Straight men have a natural resistance to beauty cameras, and many people have this idea in their hearts: I want to reflect my truest self (sometimes I incorporate this idea into photos taken for my girlfriend).

7. Straight men in our country will subconsciously resent their use of "beauty" to conquer women (mostly because they don't), so they often scoff at Lu Han, Oguri Shun and other stars who are labeled as beautiful men.

Boys have a natural aversion to people who are better than themselves. If you want to change your prejudice against straight men, you must rely on extraordinary talents to conquer it (see Elvis Presley, Xiao Xiao, Beckham, etc. ).

This truth is just like a woman can conquer a man as long as her skin is white and beautiful and her breasts are big, but a woman conquers a woman by thinking, achievement, taste and temperament.

8. However, regarding appearance, although straight men say no, they act honestly.

If girls are fashionable, then boys will also start to pay attention to dressing up. However, as far as the aesthetic and dressing level of straight men in China is concerned, don't expect too much (most straight men's aesthetic will be 5- 10 years behind).

To sum up, dating is a nightclub, daily life is a hair salon, dressing like an intermediary, and mixing the Monkey King.

1, after a straight man likes someone, he can't help but want to be nice to girls.

There are two ways to please girls: flattery and giving gifts.

2. Flattery actually runs through the pursuit of girls. The flattery of straight men is nothing more than "you are so beautiful", "your character is so gentle" and "you are so virtuous/talented". Old drivers can say these three items in the form of 100.

3. Giving gifts is worth talking about.

Boys usually pay attention to your birthday and various festivals when they start chasing you and prepare small gifts. Gifts from old drivers are generally at prices you can't refuse.

Maybe girls have simple ideas about gifts, but,

You! Yong! Far away! Don't! Yes! Low! Estimate! Man! Health! Yes! Want to! Elephant! Force!

Sometimes I even feel that as a girl, my life is incomplete if I confiscate a few beautiful gifts.

Have you forgotten how Master Tang was laughed at in those days?

Some of my female friends received great gifts: all brands of menstrual towels in the supermarket, a full set of wool selections, 20 Jin of walnuts, and Durex wrapped in ipone boxes (of course, this one broke up). . . .

Boys are very paranoid about giving dolls, and almost every boy will give more than one doll on average in his life. I swear by instant noodle seasoning that most girls have received dolls-and they are usually very big and ugly dolls.

Unfortunately, the dolls didn't end well in the end.

Most straight men don't like sending flowers, especially a bunch. Seldom send flowers alone. Flowers are usually used as a subsidiary foil for other gifts and are usually given separately.

Straight men subconsciously think that flowers are not durable and practical. Therefore, in the hearts of many straight men, they are eager to send a cauliflower to their beloved woman.

Girls often receive paper-folded Kawasaki roses, gold roses or soap flowers.

Straight men are addicted to the above three kinds of honey (the gifts that straight men are addicted to honey are music box, crystal lamp and so on. ).

Straight men are actually idiots in jewelry and perfume, and the main source of experience is Baidu. Straight men are obsessed with big bottles of perfume, gold bracelets and decorative necklaces, but their aesthetics always stay at the level of their mothers.

The recent YSL lipstick can be said to have saved straight men. But boys are not good at choosing color numbers, so sometimes they often send out full series.

Snacks and chocolates are also good choices, but straight men only buy cheaper gift packages.

1, chatting is a girl's natural ability, and liking chatting can be said to be engraved into a woman's genes. Most boys also know this.

Boys believe that your relationship can go further through chatting, and more believe that women will rely on the person who chats with her every day-after all, chicken soup says so, and straight men believe it.

2. However, due to the differences in thinking between men and women, many boys are not very successful in deep communication-although they can insist on punching in every day, they can't achieve the effect of heart-to-heart. Serious will even attract girls' boredom. Therefore, online jokes about "good night" and "going to bed early" will emerge one after another.

When chatting, boys always introduce themselves intentionally or unintentionally. Many of them are full of pretentious elements, because

Boys want to shape their psychological advantages.

No matter how good you are, I must have something better than you.

It is impossible for a boy to show weakness in front of a girl he likes. Self-esteem is not allowed.

4. Some people brag because they are forced to draw a big cake first, which makes girls have the illusion that "he is a potential stock".

Give a chestnut: I have a beautiful friend. The year before last, a young man chased her and said, "I am a little short of money recently, because my business at home has failed, and I may have no money for the time being." But I will have a new project soon, and I will earn about 500 thousand next year, and then we will get married. " At that time, my friend was still moving, and I also sent a screenshot to a circle of friends. I feel that I have found someone I can rely on. The result is just a routine, and Diaosi has not completed the counterattack.

5. When the topic runs out, some stupid straight men will start to hurt you in order to create chat opportunities.

For example, he will say that your beautiful photos are really ugly, your cooking will say that it must be terrible, and so on.

Men really haven't changed since childhood, and they like girls who annoy them.

In fact, he only did this to highlight his uniqueness through meanness-he wanted to give him your attention and your mood swings. Of course, the result is often counterproductive, and finally it is either ignored or blacklisted.

6. Sometimes you will meet a boy who molests you. Some girls often spit out things that they can't help but confess after being teased, but the result is rejected.

From a straight man's point of view, as long as it's teasing you, it's probably a little interesting to you.

After all, even if life is long, will you have nothing to do to play with beggars in mud pits?

There are many reasons for refusing, such as the spare tire is better than you, the reality does not allow it, and you have a girlfriend. Because of rational or moral constraints, you will refuse, but some people will not really say to death. I have seen many boys have this mentality to seduce girls.

"Song of Female Spare Tire" is probably the case in Zhong Wuyan.

1, ambiguous to a certain extent, and then invite you to dinner or watch a movie and other "two-person activities."

If he really likes you, then he will definitely rehearse the itinerary 10,000 times in his mind-even he has already figured out what to say after rolling the sheets (ask me if you don't believe me).

2. At night, cinemas and parks are all high-frequency options. After all, it's easy to do things after dark, hehe. On the contrary, if the date is chaotic and there is no arrangement, it also means that he is not interested in you and just wants to fuck you.

3. Boys will try to touch you on a date.

Touching the chest is too timid, hugging the waist is too obscene, touching the ass is too obscene, and holding hands is too intimate, so the head is the hardest hit. This is why boys like to "touch their heads" so much.

But straight men who are newly in love seem to be moving you because of their inexperience.

In fact, straight men hope to verify whether you have a good impression on him in this way.

Generally speaking, after the first date, I seldom confess, but chat, praise and ask for help as usual. During this period, the hormones of straight men will soar rapidly, and there will often be some small fantasies, sometimes shooting at your photos, or dreaming that you will do something ulterior together at night.

Some people feel guilty. But when I see you, the surface will still be calm, pretending that I have no requirements.

5. If the first date is unsuccessful and the second date begins, straight men will pay great attention to their words and deeds, and some people will even think about dialogue. On the contrary, if the first time is more successful, the second time will be more open.

On the second date, straight men will spare no effort to show their wit, humor and extensive knowledge in a limited time. Novices often tell a lot of cold jokes, which is embarrassing. Old drivers are different. They will make you tremble.

A man will try to make you fall in love with him through a successful date-unfortunately, most girls are slow.

6. After dating, boys usually offer to go to a nearby park or take you home. Going to the park is nothing more than getting in touch with you. But sending you home will deepen the routine.

Straight men are always full of fantasies and expectations about sending girls home.

When I arrive at your door, some people will pre-empt me and say in a half-joking tone, "Aren't you going to invite me in for a drink?" This kind of question is generally difficult to refuse. If you can enter your home, more than half of the men will think about how to get to the base smoothly.

The most obvious signal is that he wants to visit your bedroom. The idiom "inviting a wolf into the room" has a very wide meaning.

If you refuse him to enter the house, then the boy will usually make one last effort before you close the door, thinking that at least one hug or kiss is enough. Many movies at home and abroad will have scenes of men and women talking at home.

Both men and women, in this scenario, psychological changes are very subtle.

If a boy invites you to his home, the meaning is even more obvious.

Especially when the boys prepare drinks for you.

I heard a colleague say such a thing: a girl and her boyfriend fell in love in a long distance. A colleague B in the company likes her and then confesses. But I didn't promise. As a result, once a girl quarreled with her boyfriend and drank with her colleague B at B's house. As a result, I drank and drank, and I drank the great harmony of life.

Although many people now blame promiscuity for everything after drunkenness, it is only self-deception to let wine bear all the responsibility.

In fact, wine is quite innocent, because men can't even think about XXOO when they are drunk.

1, before the relationship is determined, chatting and dating is the main purpose of boys.

Many holidays are regarded as good opportunities by straight men. For example, April Fool's Day, Chinese Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day and Christmas Day, and later developed to 520, Double Eleven Singles' Day.

2. Straight men like to confess after a successful date, because they feel that the chances of success are higher psychologically.

So what is a successful date? Dating, holding hands, hugging and kissing are all successful (nonsense)

In fact, in the eyes of boys, touching a girl's head or face, getting close side by side, or smiling happily at a girl can also be regarded as success. If none of them are achieved, then 80% of the boys will not confess. This is the same reason that you failed in the exam and won't get a reward from your parents.

3. Due to the embarrassment of being rejected in person, many people will choose to send WeChat or SMS after dating. Men are sometimes more afraid to face it than girls.

But to be honest, in fact, men are more eager to be confessed than women. Nine times out of ten men have thought about the following scenario.

4. Some straight men will choose a big confession, such as putting candles at school.

Straight men think it's romantic Sometimes, I will try to make girls feel hot with the input of onlookers and promise myself. Straight men who do this kind of behavior are either determined to win or cross the rubicon. This method has a high success rate for inexperienced girls, but there are also many rejected ones, which are embarrassing and can be on the news almost every time.

5. If it's a blind date, it's much easier to express your feelings. Generally, houses, cars and savings are used to attract the woman. Simple and direct, weigh the pros and cons, and get what you need.

6. If the confession is unsuccessful, many straight men will give up after the girl refuses once.

On the one hand, the face of straight men is very expensive, on the other hand, men are actually more afraid of pain than women (after all, women can enhance their resistance by menstruating once a month).

7. But many people will choose to keep chasing, and the routines are also varied.

Some people will deliberately put photos with other girls on social software to create a very ambiguous atmosphere, trying to tell girls: "I have many women around me", "I am not unwelcome" and "I am also excellent" and so on.

Behind this childish behavior is either trying to make girls angry or some kind of unconvinced psychology is at work.

Sometimes, I also use some hard-to-get methods, using the aforementioned "women will rely on the person she chats with every day." There are not a few girls recruited. In fact, the principle is to use people's psychological dependence and unwillingness.

There are also some straight men who will make the behavior of "suddenly appearing downstairs in your house, and you won't leave until you come out", using the kindness of girls to follow them. A friend once used this routine. He stayed downstairs in a girl's house in the middle of the night until he met her, and finally succeeded in catching up with the girl.

The routine of "seeing the last side" is also very common. But most boys will use this meeting to put all their eggs in one basket, so they will make careful preparations, hoping to take advantage of the "last" psychological advantage and win the girls in one fell swoop. (Note: Of course, it will happen many times: girls explicitly reject boys, and boys become angry from embarrassment and make strong kisses or animal behaviors. There are many such cases on the Internet, such as the sensational Zhou Yan case in previous years. )

8. Some boys will also choose the strategy of "curve saving the country" after being issued a good friend card. Many people will settle for the second best and say, "Then let's be good friends." In this case, there are generally three kinds of people.

The first one will decide whether to change your goal to B, C or D tomorrow at the moment you refuse. There are not a few such people-they have spare tires, but at the same time they will line up at the spare tires of other girls. Boys who change their goals will have a 180 degree change in their attitude towards you. Some girls often have all kinds of "love fantasies" because of the gap between before and after, which is quite sad.

The second will take advantage of girls' guilt, occupy the position of girls' "girlfriends" and "blue faces", use this position to eliminate dissidents and wait for opportunities. This routine is deep.

From God's point of view, more than 80% of men and women have the idea of being with excellent friends. After all, people who can become good friends have some advantages that you like.

The third kind will play the card of bitterness-drag you to chat that night, talk until midnight, say how much I love you, and try to influence you. But in the end, metropolis becomes you to comfort him. Generally speaking, these boys are moved by the truth, but they often end up as spare tires.

Others go to extremes and start to indulge themselves, promiscuous and even commit suicide. There are two reasons for this. One is to inspire girls to like saving motherhood. The other is to make girls feel heavy guilt. Finally, girls often stay with each other out of sympathy or psychological pressure. It's better to stay away from such people when they meet.

1, after determining the relationship, men will want to hug, kiss and have sex at the first time. So it is absolutely true that men are lower-body animals. But most people don't show it right away. It takes some time for most people to express this idea. But because some boys love or respect each other too much, they will choose to restrain themselves even if they have ideas.

In fact, sex and true love are not absolutely good or bad, and sex in bed is also an important part of love.

But love rat, who just wants to mate with you, will usually ask for a room intentionally or unintentionally after catching up with you, and the longest patience will not exceed three months. This period can also be used as a test standard. I suggest talking about friends first, and don't "cherish friendship" too early.

3. In order to break the last layer of "enough paper", boys who take kidneys often use various means to achieve their goals.

The cheapest (and often the most effective) is "commitment"-such as commitment to marriage and commitment to the future.

Girls are often easily deceived by boys who say "I want to marry you", especially girls who have sex for the first time.

In fact, when a man's sperm reaches his brain, even if you ask him to pick you a moon tomorrow, he can promise. After all, picking the moon is tomorrow, and before tomorrow comes, everything is possible. For a man, you should see what he does first, and then what he hears, instead of changing the order.

If the commitment doesn't work, boys will often create opportunities to be alone.

Besides the option of "playing at home", traveling together is the most popular routine.

The reason is probably that girls will not refuse to travel, and boys prefer to sleep in a bed with girls in this seamless way. After all, travel is a luxury consumption, and sharing is almost the default option.

However, if girls say they want to sleep in separate rooms, boys will try their best to persuade or even get angry, and even cancel the trip seriously.

Love rat, who just wants to have sex, usually disappears in after making love or becomes cold to you. Sometimes I am only enthusiastic about you when I have physical needs.

Sometimes some love rat want to break up, but in order to alleviate their guilt, they will use indifference, alienation and words to force you to break up first.

Speaking of it, snapping up is a watershed in love. After that, some lovers' feelings are "a thousand miles a day", while others are getting worse.

Since ancient times, love can't be kept, and only routines have won people's hearts. Chasing girls is really a tricky thing, so all boys will use various routines when chasing girls, but the means are different.

In the eyes of bloggers, all routines should be applied for love. Without the proposition of love, all routines will have a wretched taste.

Finally, I would like to share with you one of my favorite words: May you meet your lover, give you a happy city and make Long song warm and floating.