Children's joke stories

I have a four-year-old daughter at home, and I didn't tuck her in just now. She said, if you don't tuck me in, I'll be too cold to see you and my daughter! ? Me. . . Did you poke your smile? Welcome to enjoy children's jokes and stories!

Children's joke stories (1) 1. When I was a child, my little friend gave me persimmons and didn't wipe my mouth. My mother thought I ate shit and beat me up. . .

2. When I was a child, my family was poor, and I went to steal other people's watermelons with my brother. When I went home and cut them open, they were actually white. We are idiots for saying that such a big melon is not ripe. Mom, it took many years to realize that it was a melon. .

When I was a child, I was afraid of being beaten. When I knew I was going to be beaten, I went to the toilet first and gargled with toothpaste. Then as soon as my dad hit me, I spat and almost scared my dad to death.

When I was a child, when my mother bought a bag of fruit, she always ate the small one first and saved the big one for last. As a result, the little one finished eating and there were guests at home. . .

When I was a child, my father always said that if you don't study hard now, you won't catch up with the heat when you grow up. Now I know, I really can't catch up, and I washed away after pulling it.

6. When you wrestle as a child, you always have to see if there are people around you. Cry if you have it, get up if you don't. When you grow up, if you encounter unhappy things, you should also see if there are people around you. Get up if you have it, and cry if you don't.

7. When I was a child, I taught chickens to swim and drowned them. Poke the bottle cap on the arm; Draw on my sister's face with my mother's lipstick; Watching my mother wash clothes by the pond, dozing off and falling into the pond. . .

8. When I was a child, I was best at composing folk songs and swearing: XXX's father was a policeman with a monthly salary of 0.8. XXX's mother, a mathematician, one plus one equals twenty-eight. I bought a broken Jetta, which exploded as soon as I stepped on the accelerator and fell apart as soon as I opened the door.

9. When I was a child, I was very happy to see my brother buy a new dress, because I knew that dress would belong to me sooner or later.

The complete works of children's joke stories (2) 1. I drove past a scenic spot, stopped at the roadside and bought a bottle of mineral water. I asked the children selling mineral water: Why are some mineral water bottles full and some bottles not full?

The child replied:? My mother filled the full bottle, and my father filled the dissatisfied bottle. ?

2. The teacher asked me to show me the composition "Tell the truth to the teacher" written by my 10-year-old daughter. You're not beautiful, your class is average, you haven't had time to find a boyfriend, and no one will want you if you drag on! It is serious for a girl to find a reliable marriage. ?

I tried to apologize to the teacher after reading it. The teacher is expressionless:? There is more content on the next page! ?

Turn it over: Teacher, if you don't mind, let me introduce my father to you. He is so handsome! ?

My daughter didn't do well in the exam. I don't want to blame him, just say, try again next time!

The daughter said: Mom, am I stupid?

Me: Why, your father and I were both top students. With this excellent inheritance, you must not be stupid!

The daughter actually said: Mom, are you implying that I am not your own daughter? . .

There is a four-year-old daughter at home, and she didn't quilt her just now.

She said, if you don't tuck me in, I'll be too cold to see you and my daughter! ?

Me. . .

Xiao Ming went to the fruit shop and said to the boss. If I buy 3 kilograms of apples with 5 yuan money, 4 kilograms of grapes with 6 yuan money and 5 kilograms of pears with 7 yuan money, how much should I pay you?

The boss said, 74 yuan. ?

Xiao Ming turned away and said, thank you, boss, for helping me solve this math problem! ?

6. I took my daughter to the relatives' hospital to play. She felt a little tired after running for a while, so she dragged me to play together and said to me, Dad, let's play with angry birds!

Say that finish, just shout? Whew ~ ~ Yes. The sound came at me. . .

Oh, you think I'm a pig. . .

Children's joke story (3) 1, a child asked me: Sister, Sister, how old are you?

? Me? I'm 22?

? Ah, he looks like a teenager! ?

Looking at his surprised expression, I am so happy and young! Ha ha!

? I mean your IQ! ?

Xiong Haizi, come here, I won't kill you!

2. I work in the marriage registry. That day, my children came to my office to play. I'm getting married for a couple.

After the activity, a couple happily prepared to leave. My polite son said: Welcome to come again next time! ?

I quickly pulled him aside and told him: Son, you can't say that. Uncle and aunt will be angry. ?

The son said doubtfully loudly:? What, isn't getting married a happy event? How nice it is to eat and drink wedding candy and get married every day! ?

People on one side laughed, and I ... . .

3. My girlfriend and I were walking when we suddenly spilled a basin of water from upstairs and spilled it on my girlfriend. I looked up and saw it was a little boy, so I said angrily. Little friend, can't you see there are two people down there?

The little boy paused and turned into the room. Suddenly he poured a basin of water on me and said loudly, Uncle, that's enough! ?

4. No one can convince anyone when quarreling with her husband. My four-year-old daughter happened to be around, so I said to her. Baby, you judge, who is right, your father or me? Said I winked at her. . .

Who expected her daughter to say: Of course, Dad is right. Dad's surname is Li, but you're not. How can you be right? ?

Me. . .

5. mom:? What kind of wife do you want to marry in the future?

Son:? Why should I marry a wife?

Mom:? Men have to get married when they grow up. ?

Son:? So dad married a wife?

Mom:? Married. ?

Son:? Really? He looks like a bear, and a fool married him! ?

Mom. . .

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