My girlfriend likes to hear jokes, so I asked my friends to help me give some...

A professor was teaching in the field: "Scientific research must not be afraid of getting dirty..." Then he squatted down, poked the cow dung on the ground with his finger, and then put his finger in his mouth and licked it clean. A classmate hurriedly said: "I'm not afraid of getting dirty..." Then he poked the cow dung on the ground with his finger and put it in his mouth to lick it clean. The professor said: "In addition, you must be good at observation. I just poked the dung with my middle finger, but I licked it." It’s the index finger. . .

In a public toilet, Mr. A was constipated and couldn’t pull it out for a long time. At this time, another man, Mr. B, rushed in. He just squatted down and started to have a hard time. After hearing this, he said: "Man, I really envy you. You can pull it off so happily." Mr. B said: "What's there to envy? I haven't even taken off my pants yet..."

One afternoon, my classmate was in He was very bored at work at China Construction Bank. A poorly dressed lady (a psychopath) came to his window and gave him a note asking for a withdrawal.

The note clearly said "Zipai". Comrade XX withdrew RMB from your bank. Then there were N zero yuan after l. The signature was ***C.P Central Office***.

My classmate originally wanted to call the police, but this lunatic The patient woman looked very serious, so she thought about it and sent it to the security guard (~I guess the security guard was also very idle).

Sure enough, the security guard said to the woman: "You want to withdraw money with this note. You must first go to the police station opposite and ask the director to stamp it. After he stamps it, you can come back to withdraw the money and it will be fine. "

The woman walked directly to the police station without thinking. (This security guard is really extraordinary, I usually underestimate him).

It took about ten minutes. , when the number of customers in line gradually increased, the woman came back happily, holding up the note, and said: "I heard that the office procedures have been simplified, and you can withdraw money directly without the director's approval." "

My classmate couldn't help but sigh when he heard this: There are really good people in the pol.ice team, and he was sent back with just a "high profile".

My classmate The security guard and I were a little confused at that time. There were many people in the business hall, and they were afraid that her mental illness would affect the normal order, so they had to call the supervisor on duty and chat with the female patient for a while. I asked you what you wanted to use the money for. The female patient said: "I took the money to sell bread, cakes, food, and clothes." The supervisor pointed to a place not far away, and the woman left happily. .

The security guard went to ask for advice, and the supervisor said to the female patient: "We are a China Construction Bank, and you can only withdraw money here if you build a house." When you withdraw money to buy food, it must be grain. You have to go to the Agricultural Bank of China to buy clothes and other things. To withdraw money, you have to go to the Industrial and Commercial Bank of China! "

My classmate admires him from the bottom of his heart. He is a supervisor after all!!!!

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After a while, the lady came back again. And she brought the answer from ICBC: "The people from the Agricultural Bank of China said that this is the Agricultural Bank of China, and only farmers can withdraw money. I am from an urban area. The people from the ICBC said that , We are a public bank here, so only males can come and withdraw money, not females!!!!, they say I am a bitch, I have to go to CCB to withdraw money."