Several homophonic jokes

We often hear some homophonic jokes and jokes in our daily life. If you are tired from work and study, you can watch some funny jokes to relax. I hope the following homophonic jokes can make you quickly enter the state of work and study after relaxing.

Several homophonic jokes 1

Eat a kilo

The teacher asked Xiaoming to make a sentence with "eat a catty".

Xiao Ming said: I was walking on the road and saw a pile of cow dung. Be startled (by a kilo).

The teacher praised: "Massive, massive ..."

There is only one channel.

The boss of the dormitory has a new girlfriend, who gave him a new walkman. The boss looked at the instructions, fiddled with them and said to himself, "Everything is fine, but there is only one channel!" " ".Old three watched martial arts in the upper bunk and asked," Isn't one enough? "The boss said," I want to have one more channel, so I can connect to the computer. "

4600 yuan for a sexual intercourse

At the beginning of the new semester, several students in my dormitory and I went to the department to pay tuition. A notice was posted at the door of the department office: this year, a unified fee will be imposed, and sexual intercourse will cost 4,600 yuan, and no accommodation fee will be charged.

How much is it to sleep in jiaozi?

One day I went to a restaurant to eat jiaozi with a foreign friend, and a beautiful waitress came to ask.

Friends always miss any chance to practice Chinese and say "Go to sleep (jiaozi)". how much is it?

The young lady was embarrassed and angry. I quickly explained that he was asking jiaozi how much.

Jiaozi served it, and I asked him if he wanted mustard.

He invited another young lady. Is there a "program"?

The young lady said brightly, "Yes, what program do you want?"

"Is the yellow one. ..... "

Several homophonic jokes 2 serving articles

It's time to serve Let's have a mixed face lift first. A large plate of thin face was served, followed by several dishes of ingredients and sauces. Miss didn't pay attention when serving, and a drop of sauce spilled on a buddy's pants. That buddy is also deliberately teasing, pretending to be unhappy and asking the young lady: "What should I do?"

The young lady said calmly, "Whatever you want."

"What do you say?"

"What do you want to do?"

"What do you usually do here?"

"Why don't I help you?"

"Very good."

I saw the young lady quickly pour several dishes of ingredients and sauces on the rapier, holding chopsticks in one hand and spoons in the other, and stirring them with several brushes. Then he said to his buddy, "Sir, you can eat."

The buddy stared at the plate for a long time without saying anything, and another colleague said "thank you" to the lady for him.

Did you serve the main course? Roast leg of lamb, a big plate of meat bones, a plate of salt and pepper. A Beijing buddy loves this mouth so much that he grabbed a leg of lamb unceremoniously. Click is a bite, and he eats and drinks.

The young lady looked at it and said, "Sir, this should be dipped."

The elder brothers looked puzzled at the young lady and then at the local colleagues. A local colleague said, "It tastes better when dipped in it."

The buddy then stood up with a leg of lamb and clicked again.

The young lady hurried over and asked, "Do you need anything, sir?"

"ah? No. "

"Then please sit down and eat."

The buddy sat down and muttered, looking at everyone, lost. Carefully hold the leg of lamb to your mouth and take a careful bite.

The young lady added, "Sir, you should dip this."

Buddy stood up, waved a leg of lamb and shouted angrily, "How to eat standing and sitting?" ! ? "

Play some homophonic jokes at the sight of chickens.

Once upon a time, there was a landlord who loved chickens. The tenant rented his field, but he had to be given a chicken first.

A tenant named Zhang San went to pay the rent to the landlord at the end of the year and rented it out the next year. When he went, he put a chicken in a bag, and after paying the rent, he told the landlord about renting the land for the next year. He insisted that his hands were empty, opened his eyes and said, "There are no three kinds of land." Zhang Sanming understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag.

As soon as the landlord saw the chicken, he immediately changed his tune and said, "If you don't give it to Zhang San, who will you give it to?"

Zhang San said, "Your words have changed so quickly!"

The landlord replied, "That sentence just now is nonsense. Now it is made by accident. "

Ears are here.

The new magistrate is from Shandong. Because he wanted to hang up, he said to the master, "buy me two bamboo poles."

Inquired that the "bamboo pole" in Shandong dialect was "pig liver", and quickly agreed, ran to the butcher's shop and said, "Master Xinxian wants to buy two pieces of pig liver. You are a clever man.

You should know it! "

The shopkeeper, a clever man, immediately cut off two pieces of pig liver and presented a pair of pig ears.

Out of the butcher's shop, the master thought, "My master told me to buy pig liver, and this pig ear is of course mine …" So he wrapped the hunting ear and stuffed it into his pocket. Go back to the county government and report to the magistrate: "Report back to Grandpa, I bought pig liver!" "

The magistrate was very angry when he saw that the master had bought pig liver, and said, "Where are your ears!" " Hearing this, the master turned pale with fear and quickly replied, "Ear … Ear … here … in my … pocket!" "