Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Suddenly I feel that marriage is meaningless and I want a divorce.
Suddenly I feel that marriage is meaningless and I want a divorce.
Human nature can make sense after reading it (it should be an old post)
One day, two guests came to Baiyun restaurant, a man and a woman, about forty years old, well dressed, and the man was carrying a travel bag. It seems that they are a traveling couple.
The waiter brought the menu in high spirits. The man took the menu and handed it directly to the woman, saying, "Order what you want to eat." Without looking at it, the woman looked up and said to the waiter, "Just give us a bowl of wonton."
The waiter zheng, baiyun restaurant which have to eat wonton? Besides, there is no wonton in the restaurant. She thought she didn't hear clearly and looked at the female customer anxiously. The woman repeated her words again, and the man next to her spoke at this time: "What wonton to eat is not money."
The woman shook her head and said, "I just want to eat wonton!" " "The man paused, saw the waiter's surprised eyes and said shyly," OK. Please give us two bowls of wonton. "
"no!" The woman quickly added: "Just one bowl!" That man is Zheng again. Why did he eat a bowl? The woman frowned at the man and said, "Didn't you say you would listen to me all the way?"
The man fell silent, put his hands in his arms and leaned back in the chair. The waiter next to him smiled contemptuously and thought, this woman is very stingy. Just eat wonton in the restaurant, just one bowl for two people. She curled her lips at the woman: "Sorry, we don't sell wonton here. If you want to eat, go to the food stall outside! " "
When the woman heard this, she was very surprised. She thought for a moment and said, "How come there is no wonton to sell? You are too young to do business? " At this moment, Zhang Xianfeng, the owner of the restaurant, happened to pass by. When he heard what the woman said, he waved to the waiter. The waiter went over and complained, "Boss, look at these two people. Isn't this intentional? "
The shopkeeper smiled and waved to her. He also felt very strange: judging from the dress of the couple, they should not be people who can't afford to eat, and may have other ideas. In any case, there is no reason to push business to the door.
He whispered to the waiter, "Go out and buy a bowl of wonton. How much did you pay for it? You have to pay twice as much for checking out later! " Then he pulled up a chair and sat down and began to observe the strange couple.
After a while, the waiter brought back a bowl of steaming wonton, put it in front of the woman and said, "Please enjoy your meal."
The woman's eyes lit up when she saw wonton. She pressed her face against the bowl and took a deep breath. Then, she gently stirred the wonton in the bowl with a spoon, as if reluctant to eat it, and did not send it to her mouth for a long time.
The man stared at the woman, then turned his head and looked around, feeling that everyone was staring at them with strange eyes. He felt ashamed and said bitterly, "I really don't know what you are doing, coming all the way to eat this bowl of wonton?"
The woman looked up and said, "I like it!" " "
The man picked up the menu on the table and said, "Eat if you like. I've been hungry all day, so I need makeup. " He beckoned the waiter to come over and ordered seven or eight expensive dishes in one breath.
Women don't worry, they don't wait until men finish ordering. This just said lightly to the waiter: "You'd better ask him if he has money first, and be careful that he eats the overlord meal."
Before the waiter could react, the man turned red with anger: "Bullshit! I want to eat the king's rice. Lao Tzu will have no money? " As he spoke, he touched his arms and suddenly said, "Hey, where's my wallet?" He simply stood up, patted him and pinched him, only to find that his mobile phone was gone. The man stood blankly for a long time, and finally turned his eyes to the opposite woman.
The woman said unhurriedly, "Stop fooling around. I threw my wallet and mobile phone into the river last night. "
Hearing this, the man got angry: "You are crazy!" The woman didn't seem to hear, and continued to slowly stir the wonton in the bowl. The man suddenly remembered something, pulled open his carry-on travel bag and reached for it.
The woman said coldly, "keep the change, your watch and my ring." I threw all the valuables we brought out this time into the river. " I still have five dollars on me, just enough to buy this bowl of wonton! "
The man turned white, sat down and glared at the woman: "You are crazy, you are crazy!" " ! We don't have any money with us, how can we come back so far? "
The woman looked calm and said tepidly, "What's your hurry? Anyway, we still walk home on two legs. "
The man snorted dully. The woman went on to say, "Twenty years ago, we didn't have any money on us. Aren't we going home?" That day. It's colder than now! "
The man couldn't help staring at this sentence: "What did you say?" The woman asked, "You really don't remember?" The man shook his head blankly.
The woman sighed: "it seems that I have had a few dollars on me in recent years, and I really forgot everything." Twenty years ago, when we first went out to do business, we didn't expect to be cheated out of everything and even lost our way home. Here, you want a bowl of wonton for me to eat, I know, that you have fifty cents left ... "
Hearing this, the man was startled and looked around: "Here, here ..." The woman said: "Yes, that's it. I will never forget it. At that time, it was a small and broken wonton shop. "
The man silently lowered his head, and the woman turned to the stunned waiter and said, "Girl, bring me another empty bowl."
The waiter quickly brought an empty bowl. The woman picked up the wonton in front of her, put more than half of it in the empty bowl, and gently pushed it in front of the man: "Eat, let's walk home together after eating!" " "
The man stared at the half bowl of wonton in front of him and said for a long time, "I'm not hungry." With tears in her eyes, the woman muttered, "Twenty years ago, you said the same thing!" "Say that finish, she stared at the bowl without moving the spoon, so she sat quietly.
The man said, "Why don't you eat?" The woman choked again: "Twenty years ago, you asked me the same thing. I remember answering you at that time. You can eat together if you want, or you can not eat at all. Now, still this sentence! "
The man was silent and reached for the spoon. I don't know why, the hand holding the spoon shook badly. After scooping a few spoons, the wonton fell off. Finally, he finally sent a wonton to his mouth, swallowed it hard and swallowed it all. When he scooped up the second wonton, tears suddenly burst down.
When the woman saw him eating, she smiled, picked up the spoon and began to eat. Tears fell into the bowl as soon as wonton entered. The couple finished a bowl of wonton with tears in their eyes.
Putting down the spoon, the man looked up and asked the woman softly, "Are you full?"
The woman shook her head. The man was anxious, and suddenly he seemed to think of something. He bent down to take off a leather shoe, took out the insole and touched it with his hand. Unexpectedly, he took out five dollars. He stared blankly and incredulously at the money in his hand.
The woman smiled and said, "Twenty years ago, you lied to me that you only had fifty cents and could only buy a bowl of wonton. In fact, you still have fifty cents, hidden in the sole. I know, you want to hide that fifty cents until I'm hungry. Later, you were forced to eat half of the wonton, knowing that I was definitely not full, so I took out the money and bought another bowl! " After a pause, she added, "It's a good thing you remember what you did. I don't have Bai Zang for these five dollars! "
The man handed the money to the waiter: "Give us another bowl of wonton." The waiter didn't pick up the money, ran away, and soon came back with a big bowl of wonton.
The man poured more than half into the woman's bowl: "Eat while it's hot!" "
The woman did not move and said, "After eating, we will walk home. Don't blame me. I just want to be hungry with you again before we break up. " Suffer once! "
Without saying a word, the man bowed his head and gulped down, eating soup with water. He put down the bowl and urged the woman: "Eat quickly, and we will walk home after eating!" " "
The woman said, "Don't worry, I will keep my word and sign it when I go back. I don't want money. I don't care if you marry ten or eight women ... "
The man suddenly shouted loudly, "I'll burn that divorce agreement when I get back, won't I?" Say that finish, he cried, "I was wrong, not yet? My head is cramping. Can't I do it? I was really carried away by the good times! ! ! ! ! ! ! I'm not human! ! ! "
The woman smiled, calmly finished half a bowl of wonton, and then said to the waiter, "Girl, check out."
Zhang Xianfeng, the boss who has been watching, suddenly woke up and walked quickly, blocking the woman's hand, but took out two hundred-dollar bills from her body and handed them over: "Since you burned the divorce agreement when you went back, why did you walk home?"
The man and the woman looked at the shopkeeper hesitantly. The shopkeeper smiled and said, "We have known each other for a long time. I sold the wonton you ate twenty years ago, and my wife made it herself! " Then he put the money into the man's hand and left without looking back. ...
The shopkeeper returned to the office, took out the divorce papers that had already been drawn up from the drawer, looked at them stupefied for a long time, and muttered to himself, "It seems that my head is cramping ..." I was also carried away by the rich life! ! ! ! Marry a wife-don't abandon it! !
When you break up, think of the person who accompanied you through thick and thin. Actually, your story is not short. Time goes by slowly, but those feelings are sealed up bit by bit. In fact, the person who loves you the most is not the one who makes you happy with sweet words. Maybe he hid five dollars in the soles of his shoes. Those who leave you the last thing at the last minute and say they are not hungry. ...
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