Funny stories about flights!

The air company stewardess made up the jokes on the plane.

(1) The plane landed, because the flight attendants of the broadcast always wanted to catch the bus to Dongzhimen, so the broadcast became "Ladies and gentlemen, our plane has arrived at Beijing Dongzhimen Airport". The passengers are crazy ...

(2) When the plane arrives in new york, it should be Kennedy Airport, and finally it is announced as "We have arrived at new york KFC Airport".

(3) After the flight attendants return to Beijing, do a good job of signing and stamping before landing. Just signed and sealed, the passenger asked for coke. The flight attendant said, "We are all closed." As a result, the guest didn't understand: "I just want a coke, are you crazy?" ! "

(4) The plane was delayed by mechanical failure, so we can go again later. The passenger asked why? The flight attendant said: "Nothing, just change the captain who dares to drive."

(5) When the plane is still taxiing, the passengers all stand up to get their luggage. For the sake of safety, we must broadcast "Ladies and gentlemen, our plane is still taxiing, please sit still and close the overhead luggage rack". As a result, the broadcast became "Ladies and gentlemen, our plane is still taxiing ..." At this moment, the words "Ding Dong" rang. ! "

(6) The flight attendants broadcast "Ladies and gentlemen, please sit on the runway and fasten your seat belts. Our plane will take off soon ... "

In other words, there was a loud noise when the plane took off. The passenger sitting in the first class said to another passenger, "Look, that passenger's nose hair is showing." Another passenger didn't hear it and asked loudly, "What? ! "Repeating loudly, I still didn't hear it. I saw the passenger coming over and said, "Miss, she said my nose hair was exposed! ! "

(8) One day, a flight attendant and a flight attendant greeted the guests and a foreign black man came over. The stewardess whispered to the stewardess, "Look, that foreigner is really black!" " ! (Laughter) "In the second, the foreign black man turned back to which flight attendant and said," You are white! "

Rhett: We have Sprite Coke mineral water. what would you like to drink? G: drinks!

Go for a ride: You have noodles and snacks for your hot breakfast today. Which one do you want? The passenger pondered for a long time: rice!

It is reported that there has been another hijacking in Russia recently.

On a flight from Moscow to Baku, a young man suddenly pulled out a toy pistol and shouted, "Hijacking! I want to hijack the plane! I want to talk to the captain! ! "The captain came trembling and said cautiously," Sir, just say what you have to say. We will try our best to meet your requirements. Would you please put down the gun first? " So as not to hurt innocent people ... "

The robber shouted hysterically, "No! All I ask now is that this plane fly to Baku immediately! ! "

The captain asked in surprise, "oh, sir, listen to me." This flight was supposed to go to Baku. You can put the gun down now. By the way, are you mentally ill? "

The robber flew into a rage and said, "What are you talking about? ! I'm fine! I've been on your plane three times and robbed me of going to Afghanistan for the first time! The second time, I was robbed of Iraq! " He couldn't restrain his inner excitement and said, "It just sent me back yesterday. This time, anyway, I have to grab it first-I'm going back to Baku! "

(12) A few days ago, I flew to Guangzhou to help Little Red Riding Hood's tour group. When I received the meal, I saw that all the lunch boxes on the plate were detained by Little Red Riding Hood, and I planned to take them home as a souvenir. So a stewardess patiently explained: these are tableware that must be recycled. Please cooperate with us to recycle them. Someone reported them. But there are still a few cases of catnap, refusing to hand them over, and then persuading them to hand over a few. There are still a few diehards who insist that they have been handed over to the flight attendants. So another stewardess couldn't bear it anymore and said loudly to another stewardess, don't they know that they will call the police at the door when they get off the plane? As soon as this statement came out, it was all turned over!

(13) The flight attendant was serving food when he approached a passenger and asked, "Sir, we have chicken rice and fish rice. Which one do you want? "

The passenger replied: "ribs!"

The stewardess repeated it, but the passenger still replied, "ribs!" " "

Then the stewardess asked, "We have chicken ribs and fish ribs. Which do you prefer? "

The call bell rang. Stewardess: Hello, what can I do for you?

G: Can I have a glass of water?

Stewardess: Of course. Mineral water?

G: Do you have any juice?

Stewardess: OK, which would you like, orange juice or peach juice?

G: Do you have any coke?

Stewardess: Yes, do you need ice?

G: Then give me a cup of tea!

(15) One day at 737-700, a passenger in the back cabin went to the toilet and stood at the door of the toilet and shook violently. The flight attendant kindly reminded him: "Sir, please come forward." I saw the passenger poke it gently with his index finger, and the flight attendant said "push" the passenger and poke it again. Flight attendant: "Push hard" The passenger was shocked, took a deep breath and blew into the bathroom! The flight attendants burst into laughter ... They quickly opened the door for him and said, "You are so classic. I mean push hard, not blow hard! "

(16) The kitchen waiter brought two pots of coffee to the engine room. A passenger pointed out the window and asked, "Miss, what lake is this?" The stewardess replied, "Coffee pot.