What funny jokes can make you laugh until you smoke?

This joke is the most lethal in history ~ ~ ~~~~zt that day, I had a very good friend who told me a joke and made me laugh. Later, I was admitted to the hospital because my stomach hurt too much. Before the doctor operated on me, he asked me why I laughed like this, so I told him the joke. I didn't expect him to laugh wildly after hearing it, and finally he vomited a lot of bubbles. The rescue is invalid. I really didn't want to do this when I died, but it happened. This is a daily - happened thing. What we don't want to happen will always happen. What we hoped for every day didn't happen. But once it happens, we have to bear the consequences. Really, it turns out that people who are alive are unwilling to bear the consequences for what they don't want to happen. Really, it's boring Think about it and want to die. How good is it? But I don't want to die, at least for the time being, because the doctor's lover sued me for manslaughter. In a daze, the court opened. The judge asked the prosecutor to brief the case, which was actually very simple. I told a joke, and the doctor laughed and died later. In order to investigate and collect evidence, the judge asked me to tell jokes, and the jury decided whether the fact of manslaughter was consistent. Although I study law, I'm already a little worried. I'm afraid there will be "consequences" after I tell this joke, so I ask everyone in the court, about 100, to sign an exemption contract, that is, the effect after I tell this joke is "irresponsible". The judge announced that the court was adjourned and reopened a day later, and announced that he accepted my opinion, so we signed the contract. Now that I have legal protection, let me tell this joke. Unexpectedly, just after I finished, the whole court was boiling. Some people knocked on the table with a smile, some people rolled on the ground with a smile, and some people cried with pain in their stomachs ... In my opinion, I found that the old judge was still self-serious, motionless, sitting there steadily, with some sustenance. I admired this at that time. You see, people who are judges are different from those who are lawyers. They are calm and calm in a crisis. Later, I learned that he was dead, and everyone who heard my joke that day died laughing. So, I became a celebrity in an instant. A TV reporter interviewed me and asked me what joke I was telling, so powerful. I am very calm, and I know that if I say this, it may constitute an infringement on the public. I can't stand it if there is a social rights group doing nothing. So I said something to the TV camera to the effect that the reason is always a lie, and faith is always self-comfort. The reporter obviously didn't understand, but I can see that the little girl has a quick reaction and can't let the audience see that she is stupid, right? She praised again and again, and then even squeezed out a few tears! Actually, I didn't know it was just a stunt. But I can't stand the tears of women, especially the tears of beautiful women. As a result, I decided decisively and cooperated, saying that I would like to give her the exclusive right to report and publish this joke. After the program was broadcast, it caused great repercussions throughout the country. Many viewers asked for a replay. Unexpectedly, some mysterious plain clothes suddenly broke into my bedroom one night and dragged me into a dark room. After a long time, suddenly a strong light shone on my face. I barely opened my eyes and was shocked, because the person in front of me is the only person in this country who may be as famous as me at present. Obviously, the president has no intention of telling me more. He just told me the purpose of my arrest. It's simple. I recorded this joke and sent it to the dictator of a hostile country in the Middle East through an insider, laughing him to death. I said it was impossible. This is a political murder. More importantly, this is obviously beyond the power of the president as the highest administrative head, and it is unconstitutional without the approval of Congress. The president grabbed me by the collar, lifted me up and shouted, "Do you really fucking believe in the separation of powers?" I have no choice. At this moment, my mind is full of difficulties in the background of the first constitutional bill, so I agreed to his request, but at the same time, I suggested that my joke was weapons of mass destruction and could not be used against civilians. The president agreed, so I recorded the joke in that small room. I saw the president smirk, and I knew it was over. Politicians are really nothing. Sure enough, two weeks later, the president announced that he had mastered the key technology of my joke and successfully tested it in desert areas (7 13 prisoners were killed by laughter). The news caused an uproar in the international community, many countries panicked, and other countries that once opposed our president abdicated. International military scientists even named this phenomenon "laughter deterrence". Just as our president was triumphant, an eastern country suddenly announced that it had mastered this joke. Later, I learned that the guy who first told me this joke had taken refuge in that country. Thus, a "smile balance" has been formed between us. More than 60 years ago, on April 1 day, that was the previous April Fool's Day, that misfortune and what I had been worried about finally happened. A terrorist organization in the Middle East somehow stole my joke technology, and after hijacking our national television station, it broadcast this joke to the whole country ... Civilization was destroyed like never before, and people no longer have confidence in the future. The United Nations had to hold a meeting of the world's major heads of state, and finally made a major decision that led to the birth of this world: the next April 1 day was designated as April Fool's Day. In this way, people are wary of everything that day, and everyone knows that it is false, and no one takes it seriously. This joke, like other unbelieving words, is harmless. More than 60 years have passed, and I am over 80 years old. Before I leave this world, I think it is necessary to tell this joke to everyone as a witness of history. In fact, the joke my friend told me that day was quite simple and short, just one sentence: he said he believed in love. Teacher: To be honest, do you smoke? Boy a: no teacher: no? Well, French fries, please. A naturally held out two fingers and took them ... Teacher: No? ! Call your parents ... [Scene 2] Teacher: Do you smoke? Boy b: no teacher: no? Well, French fries, please. B took the French fries carefully with her palm, because she heard that Teacher A: Aren't you going to dip in some ketchup? B accidentally dipped too much, and immediately played it with your fingers ... Teacher: The posture of playing ash is very skilled. Call your parents ... [Scene 3] Teacher: Do you smoke? Boy c: no teacher: no, ok, French fries. Because of the first two examples, C carefully finished the French fries with sweat. Teacher: Aren't you going to take a root home for your classmates? C picked up the French fries and put them in his ear ... Teacher: No? Call your parents ... [Scene 4] Teacher: Do you smoke? Boy d: no. Teacher: Good. Have a French fries. Eating French fries in fear. Teacher: Aren't you going to take a root home for your classmates? D carefully put the chips in his upper pocket again. The teacher suddenly shouted: The headmaster is coming! D quickly took the chips out of his pocket, threw them on the ground, and stepped on them with his feet ... Teacher: No? ! Call your parents ... [Scene 5] Teacher: Do you smoke? Boy E: No, Teacher: Fine. Have a French fries. E just took French fries, and the teacher said, won't you invite me to eat? E quickly handed me the French fries with both hands, and then took out the lighter ... Teacher: No? ! Call your parents ... [Scene 6] Teacher: Do you smoke? Boy f: no. Teacher: Good. Have a French fries. I ate it in fear. Teacher: Suddenly shouted: The headmaster is coming! F sweaty palms, but still calmly bowed his head and said, hello, headmaster! Teacher: The headmaster will smell your mouth. F takes out the French fries: No, they are still there. The fire hasn't been lit yet ... [Scene 7] Teacher: Do you smoke or not? Boy G: I swear to God, I will never smoke again. Teacher: You really don't smoke? Ok, let's have a French fries. G naturally took the French fries and ate them clean. Teacher: That's a good boy. What brand of French fries do you usually like? (proudly): Greater China ... [Scene 8] Teacher: Have a French fries. Boy n: thank you. I won't go to class. The female teacher asked, "Who said this famous saying' Give me liberty or give me death'?" "Henry said, Butrick, 1775." Yamamoto, a freshman from Japan, answered. "Who said' by the people, by the people and for the people'?" The female teacher asked again. "1863, Lincoln said." Yamamoto replied. "Exactly! Students, I just answered a Japanese classmate, but the American classmate couldn't answer it. What a pity! " The female teacher lamented. "Kill the Japanese!" There is a strange cry in the classroom. "Who said that?" The female teacher glared at the bottom of the platform. "1945, President Truman said." Yamamoto answered again. Someone whispered, "This is disgusting ..." "Who said that?" The female teacher is even more angry. "199 1, George Bush said when he met with the Japanese Prime Minister." Still Yamamoto answered. A student patted the table and laughed: "Ha! You are really energetic. " "1997, Clinton told Lewinsky." At this time, the whole classroom was in chaos, and a student shouted at Yamamoto: "If you dare to speak again, I will kill you!" "200 1, Gary condit told Revy," Yamamoto said. At this time, the female teacher fainted in anger and the students gathered around. A student said, "Shit, we are in big trouble this time." "In 2002, arthur anderson said," Yamamoto replied with a smile.