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Humor positive energy short story _ all the truth is profound
humorous positive energy short story 1: The burglar is frightened
There is a caterpillar in Maojia village, who eats, drinks, whores, gambles and steals, which can be described as five poisons.
On this night, when the caterpillar came back from gambling in the town to win money, he walked lightly and hummed a tune, not to mention how proud he was. When he passed by Zaozi Village, a night wind blew, and the caterpillar smelled a strong jujube fragrance, which made him drool. It is said that the jujube in Zaozi Village has an attractive aroma. When I heard it tonight, it really deserved its reputation. Now is the ripe season of jujube, and stealing dates happens to be his old job. Why not pick some and try them?
after making up his mind, the caterpillar crept into the village. At this time, it was the dead of night and the bright moon was in the sky. The caterpillar smoothly went around the village and slipped into a jujube garden. He didn't rush to climb the tree, but listened with bated breath, only to hear sweet snoring coming from a room next to the jujube garden, and he was relieved. He spotted a big jujube tree full of fruit, climbed the trunk with his hands, and then climbed up like a civet cat, hardly making any noise. After climbing the tree, the caterpillar looked at the fragrant dates covered with branches, drooling, and couldn't wait to pick the big ones, reaching out and stuffing them into his mouth. At this moment, an accident happened. I don't know if the branches trampled by caterpillars were eaten by insects, or for other reasons, suddenly? Click? It broke with a sound! The caterpillar was caught off guard, and its whole body fell straight down like a kite with a broken line.
Lucky for the caterpillar, there happened to be a tall and sturdy pumpkin shed under this big jujube tree. The caterpillar fell on its back and made a muffled sound. The pumpkin shed shook violently for a few times, but it held on and didn't fall apart. The caterpillar was buried by the wide pumpkin leaves, and the burrs on the pumpkin leaves and vines tickled his face, which made him feel uncomfortable. The caterpillar was about to struggle to leave the pumpkin shed and run away when suddenly an old man's voice came from the room next to the jujube garden. Who? When the caterpillar heard it, it was not good. The noise just woke up the owner of the jujube garden! He was so scared that he didn't even dare to go out. Fortunately, he was able to use his quick wits and keep his mouth shut. Woof woof woof? Learn to bark a few times. This move is really effective, and then came the voice of the old man: Oh, it was a wild dog making trouble. ?
the caterpillar thought it would get away with it by barking a few times. Take the opportunity to get away, who knows? Cheep? With a cry, the old man opened the back door, covered with clothes, and came straight to the jujube garden with a long cigarette rod. The caterpillar immediately panicked and quickly lay motionless on its back on the pumpkin shed again, letting the thick and dense pumpkin leaves cover itself up. The old man looked around the jujube garden, and when he saw nothing unusual, he went straight under the pumpkin trellis. Ba ba ba? Smoke slowly and nag yourself while smoking:? Alas, when I get older, I feel less. When I am awakened by wild dogs, I can't sleep anymore. ? When the caterpillar heard this, it secretly complained, so it had to hold its breath and lie on the pumpkin shed. It was really unpleasant!
time passes by. The caterpillar's shoulders were sore and his hands and feet were numb, but the old man showed no sign of going back to his house to rest. Finally, when he finished smoking a bag of cigarettes, the old man came to work again. He raised his head and counted the pumpkins on the pumpkin shed by moonlight. One, two, three counting, the old man suddenly wondered. Gee, no, there are only nine pumpkins on the scaffolding. Why is there one more tonight? What if I'm crazy, have a poor memory and my eyes are useless? Say that finish and continue to count. The caterpillar listened to the old man's counting voice, fearing and hating. The old deathless man thought Lao Tzu's ass was a big pumpkin!
The old man is really helpful. He can't count the pumpkins on the trellis, but he is so stubborn that he used that long tobacco rod to jack up the pumpkins on the trellis, counting the pumpkins one by one and counting the sides. Finally, the long hard and sharp tobacco rod stabbed the caterpillar's ass. Gee, strange, how is this pumpkin soft? Is this pumpkin rotten? Oh, what a pity!
The caterpillar that can feed my baby pig hates the old man to death. What's wrong with poking him, old thing? Why do you want to poke me in the ass? He felt terrible, but he didn't dare to say anything, so he had to bite his teeth and die. At this juncture, suddenly listen to the old man? Haha? Laugh:? Money, money? Heaven has eyes, old man, I am rich! ?
hearing this, the caterpillar's head? Huh? It's loud! It turned out that the money he was carrying slipped out of his trouser pocket, and the old man used a long cigarette rod to fall off the pumpkin trellis and scattered it all over the floor. When the caterpillar went to the town to gamble tonight, it brought its own capital from 1 yuan, plus the money it won from 1 yuan, which was a full 2 yuan. It fell into the hands of the old man in the blink of an eye, and the caterpillar's heart really hurt like a knife! But he was lying on the pumpkin shed, shouting but not daring to shout or move. It's really dumb to eat Rhizoma Coptidis. I can't tell you how bitter it is!
The old man picked up all the bills that fell to the ground, dipped his hand in saliva, and counted the money over and over again. After counting, he kept chanting in his mouth, so don't mention that joy. After the excitement, the old man felt incredible about the sudden fortune tonight. He looked up and squinted at the melon shed, talking to himself while watching it. Did the goddess of wealth help me tonight and throw a cornucopia into my pumpkin shed? Let me move a ladder and climb it to find out. If there is really a cornucopia, please ask the Buddha of Wealth to worship me! ? After that, the old man made a pious bow to the pumpkin shed, and then? Knock, knock, knock? Slowly left the pumpkin shed and went to the house to move the ladder.
Thankfully, the old guy finally got out of here, and the caterpillar's hanging heart was finally put down. Go while the going is good. Who knows that as soon as his body moved, the wooden frame under his ass suddenly? Wow? The ground collapsed with a loud cry, and the caterpillar screamed and fell straight down. What's worse, there was a cesspit for fertilizing under the pumpkin shed, and the caterpillar's body was impartial. Plop? Fell into the cesspit with a bang.
The noise alarmed the old man again. The old man roared:? Where did you get the wild dog? ! Old man, I just came into the house and made trouble again. You want to rob me, don't you? Damn beast, I'll take the ware down and kill you! ?
when the caterpillar heard this, his soul was gone. He climbed out of the cesspit in desperation and stumbled out of the jujube garden without taking care of the stench?
Humor and positive energy short story 2: Give you face
Xiao Zhao is a quick-tempered and outspoken person. He likes to cut in on any occasion, and he often makes people embarrassed in public. Manager Hao criticized him for this, but Xiao Zhao didn't think so, and went his own way. Because he was manager Hao's nephew, Manager Hao only shook his head and sighed.
at the end of last month, under the leadership of manager Hao, all the staff completed a big project. As soon as Manager Hao was happy, he sent someone to book ten tables in the hotel to prepare for rewarding all the employees of the company in the evening.
after work, employees of the company come to the hotel one after another. After all the staff arrived, Manager Hao raised his glass and began to speak. Just halfway through, Xiao Zhao stood up and applauded. Manager Hao speaks well! We all remember! ?
Manager Hao glanced at Xiao Zhao, sighed, and then thanked everyone for their hard work. Unexpectedly, Xiao Zhao stood up again:? We must redouble our efforts! Live up to the expectations of Manager Hao. ?
manager Hao gave a wry smile. Xiao Zhao is good at everything except interrupting. ?
The colleague sitting next to Xiao Zhao couldn't help it. He tugged at Xiao Zhao's skirt and motioned Xiao Zhao to sit down. Xiao Zhao also recognized Manager Hao's HuaLiYouHua, so he tried to sit down, but he looked around with an air of indifference.
When the banquet started, Xiao Zhao talked while eating, and his mouth was never idle. He always had a word in everyone's mouth, just like a contestant in defense, which made everyone laugh and cry. Seeing that the dinner was coming to an end, Manager Hao raised his glass. He glanced at Xiao Zhao and found that Xiao Zhao was smiling at himself, and he was still chewing the food with relish. So Manager Hao took a deep breath and announced loudly with the strength of wine. Today's banquet is just the beginning. If the company completes big projects in the future, we will celebrate.
To everyone's surprise, Xiao Zhao didn't say a word during Manager Hao's speech for the first time. When the employees saw this scene, they felt very puzzled: Xiao Zhao was talking all night, and his mouth couldn't stop when he was eating and drinking. Why didn't he talk after eating and drinking?
after manager Hao finished speaking, he nodded at Xiao Zhao with satisfaction. Xiao Zhao, however, remained silent, just sitting there flushed, and seemed to be vomiting, which seemed to be a bad drinker.
The next morning, Zhao Gang Jr. came into the office and was surrounded by everyone. One said that he had learned to be slick, and the other said that he had learned to play dumb. This time, Xiao Zhao was so anxious that he patted his thigh. He quickly said: Hey, hey, you don't know
At this moment, Manager Hao pushed open the door left unlocked and walked in with four steps. This next person went into the forest to silence the birds, and everyone clamped their mouths and didn't say a word. They just looked at Manager Hao nervously.
Manager Hao smiled and looked at everyone, then nodded to Xiao Zhao, and then said in an approving tone:? You can't look at people with colored glasses! At the end of the dinner party yesterday, Xiao Zhao's performance was very good. Who said that Xiao Zhao's habit of interrupting could not be changed? Isn't this quite embarrassing?
Before everyone could respond, Xiao Zhao hurriedly interrupted Manager Hao. Manager Hao, you are mistaken! I didn't mean to give you face. In fact, when you were talking at last, I was just about to interrupt, and I happened to be stuck by a fishbone, which made me speechless for a long time.
Humor and positive energy short story 3: Pack a tablecloth
Liu is a man who is good at living, but he is proud of himself. Have dinner with friends, big Liu Zhun packs, and every time he says:? It's a pity that it was wasted. I took it home to feed the dog. ? Friends never have the same knowledge as him, but at most they just smile.
On this day, Liu and his friends went out to a restaurant and drank very much. There were three or four cases of beer alone. After dinner, Liu repeated his old trick and pointed to the food on the table and said, I'll take some to feed the dog. ? Say, call the waiter to clear the table.
The waiter removed the plate, and Big Liu Ye packed two dishes by the way. Several people stood up to leave, and Liu looked at the table and said, It hurts to have so much vegetable juice. ? Liu said as he released his hand, put the plastic tablecloth in the middle, simply tied a button and carried it in his hand. When everyone saw it, they were all surprised. This big Liu packed and played well, even the tablecloth was not spared.
In a short time, Liu came home and handed his wife two dishes, so that she could eat them quickly. Seeing that he was still carrying a plastic bag, his wife asked him what he was doing. Liu didn't speak, threw the tablecloth to the ground, reached out and unbuttoned it, and began to pull it up.
my wife looked puzzled: What are you doing with garbage? Liu pulled in the tablecloth for a while and found several bottle caps to look at one by one. Suddenly, he took one of them and said, Finally found it ? When his wife asked him what he had found, Liu smiled and said, Did you find this when you lifted the bottle cap just now? Another bottle? I lost it somehow and I was too embarrassed to look for it after dinner, so I had to bring the whole tablecloth. ?
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