My mother did all the housework and served my grandmother for more than 40 years without a complaint. Why not?

"Marriage is a book, the first half is poetry, and the second half is prose of life."

Living together in trivial matters is the true meaning of marriage. As time goes on, love may gradually decrease. If two people who love each other can't understand each other, respect each other and tolerate each other, it will be difficult to go hand in hand to the end.

Understanding each other is not only to understand each other's pain, but also to respect each other's efforts and be grateful for their spouse's efforts instead of taking them for granted; When you meet something you should do, you should be brave enough to undertake it, instead of saying a lot of big things and pushing them to your spouse.

Whose task is to serve the elderly? Many people have encountered this problem, and each has its own point of view.

In the eyes of many men, marrying a wife and going home is like a tool for giving birth to children and serving their elders. In their view, it is the duty of a daughter-in-law to serve the elderly and raise children. As a man, he only needs to support his family, so he doesn't need to take care of the elderly himself. If a woman refuses, the unfilial hat will be taken off, and a man can rightfully accuse his wife.

In the eyes of women, they only have the obligation to take care of their parents who gave birth to them, but not their in-laws. In-laws are good enough for themselves to support the elderly, but they should not be the main force serving the elderly, but should be the auxiliary husband.

Ms. Tang chose to break up with her boyfriend because she didn't agree with her boyfriend's point of view and thought that her wife should serve the elderly.

0 1. In my family, serving the elderly is shared by parents;

Ms. Tang's grandfather is 96 years old this year. As the two aunts are married far away, the burden of taking care of grandpa is handed over to Ms. Tang's parents.

Ms. Tang's parents do their best to serve the elderly and share the burden. Ms. Tang's father is responsible for helping the elderly turn over and checking for the elderly. Ms. Tang's mother is responsible for feeding medicine and bathing the elderly. During the illness of the elderly, Ms. Tang's parents took turns to serve the elderly. Influenced by her parents' filial piety since childhood, Ms. Tang is also very filial to her grandfather. She often sits next to him and tells him jokes, massages his body and helps his mother.

Ms. Tang likes people who honor their elders very much. So when she knows that her boyfriend has a 9 1 year-old grandmother, she often buys some gifts for her boyfriend to give to her grandmother.

02. My boyfriend's opinion on who does housework makes me unhappy;

Ms. Tang's boyfriend, surnamed Hao, is one year older than Ms.

Mr. Hao is very kind to Ms. Tang Because they are all on their way to work, Mr. Hao drives Ms. Tang every day. In the event of a memorable festival, Mr. Hao will take Ms. Tang out to play and send some small gifts to Ms. Tang; Mr. Hao will also prepare a surprise for Ms. Tang on her birthday. Ms. Tang is very satisfied with Mr. Hao's mind. But one of Mr. Hao's shortcomings makes Ms. Tang feel very uncomfortable.

Mr. Hao is not good at housework, and his self-care ability is also very poor. Every time Ms. Tang goes to the rental house to visit him, the room is always in a mess, clothes are thrown everywhere, things are staggered, the garbage dump is full of trash cans, and the ground is covered with dust.

Ms. Tang couldn't stand it anymore and helped Mr. Hao clean the room many times. While cleaning up, she scolded Mr. Hao. Mr. Hao's words left Ms. Tang speechless: "What housework do you do? Housework is what women do. All right! In our family, my mother is responsible for mopping the floor, cooking and washing clothes. I just want to make money with my father. "

"All housework is done by women", which makes Ms. Tang very unhappy. After hearing her daughter's vomit, Ms. Tang's mother had a bad feeling in her heart and asked her daughter to visit her boyfriend's house.

03. Going home with my boyfriend and seeing the attitude of my boyfriend's parents to take care of the elderly, I was even more panicked;

So, Ms. Tang took a leave of absence and followed her boyfriend home to visit his parents and grandmother.

At her boyfriend's house, Ms. Tang met his parents and saw the way his family got along.

"You know what? I stayed at his house for three days, and his father's most common posture was Ge You lying down. The place where he often stayed was the bed besides the sofa. When eating, the food is cooked by his mother, and the tables and chairs are set by his mother. They can't do anything without putting the food and chopsticks in order. The rice cooker is nearby, so you can touch it when you get up. However, when they need more rice, they just extend the empty bowl to my boyfriend's mother. After dinner, my boyfriend plays games, his father watches TV, his mother is busy in the kitchen, and the voice is not loud enough, otherwise she will be scolded by her husband. "

While waiting on Mr. Hao's 9 1 year-old grandmother, Mr. Hao's mother has been busy. Mr. Hao's mother is an all-around nanny, feeding water and medicine, massaging and scrubbing, and communicating with doctors. As for those two people, they are either sleeping or immersed in the sea of games.

"Don't marry him, I also have to become a versatile and diligent nanny? Why? " This is Ms. Tang's greatest feeling.

04. A word from my boyfriend made me completely give up the idea of marrying him;

When chatting, Ms. Tang lamented: "Your mother is really virtuous and filial, but it is too hard."

A word from her boyfriend made Ms. Tang wake up like a dream: "Nothing! My mother has been like this for decades and has long been used to it. It won't be long before she works hard When you get married, my mother won't have to wait on her grandmother, and she can enjoy the service of her daughter-in-law. "

Mr. Hao's mother is also very happy: "Yes! Mom will be happy in the future, and I don't need to work hard with my daughter-in-law. "

After listening to her boyfriend's words and looking at his natural attitude, Ms. Tang's bad premonition came true and she was completely chilling.

Ms. Tang is a very clever girl and didn't quarrel with Mr. Hao's mother and son on the spot. She just smiled and didn't speak. That night, Ms. Tang sent a message to her parents and asked her father to drive to pick her up overnight.

Before leaving, Ms. Tang left a message: "Your father is really lucky to meet a woman like your mother who doesn't know how to cherish herself. It's a pity that you don't have this blessing. If there is, it can't be because of me. Let's break up and never meet again. "

After Ms. Tang left, her boyfriend still didn't give up, sent a message and questioned her in a complaining tone: "My mother has been doing housework and serving my grandmother for more than 40 years without complaint. Why can't you do it? "

In this regard, Ms. Tang ignored it and directly blacked him out.

05. It is the bounden duty of children to take care of their parents, not their spouses.

Mr. Hao and his father regard women as nannies at home from beginning to end, and they don't understand that it is the unshirkable responsibility of children rather than spouses to take care of their parents. In other words, it is his parents, not yours, that your spouse really has the responsibility to serve.

Serving the elderly is an extremely hard task. It is easy for a person to have a feeling of collapse, and it is also easy for couples to have conflicts. If a man can't understand his wife's feelings and the fact that he is the main force to take care of his parents, it is easy to ruin his marriage.

When men take care of the elderly, they must pay attention to three points.

First of all, don't treat your wife as a nanny to take care of the elderly. You should get involved by yourself, cooperate with your wife, and truly realize the tireless effect of men and women.

Secondly, you should be filial to your wife's parents, help her take care of her parents-in-law, and make her appreciate you. Only in this way will she be willing to take care of her parents-in-law

Finally, in a family with many children, don't do everything yourself, and don't let brothers and sisters have the opportunity to be lazy. Otherwise, your wife will feel unfair.

Remind women not to be a nanny at home and not to give men a comfortable feeling, otherwise, you will be wronged.