I need a funny joke now.

When someone is looking for a job, the hiring manager looks at his resume and has worked in four or five companies, and then asks, "What is the longest time you have stayed in that company?"

The man replied, "In our middle school, six years."

Hiring manager: "This resume doesn't say that you used to be a teacher."

He replied, "I go to school there." . . .

The company wanted an operator, and after the advertisement was sent out, several girls came to apply for it that day.

I saw a girl's resume saying: I used to be a voice actor, and I thought this person's Mandarin must be very standard. So I recorded her voice.

As a result, although the girl worked hard, her Mandarin was not standard at all, so I asked her, "Didn't you work as a voice actor? Your Mandarin is very unusual. "

The girl said, "Manager, 20 years ago, I made a TV series reflecting the Anti-Japanese War, and I deserved the baby in it to cry."

A salesman applied for a job, but soon lost the job and complained all day.

A friend who cares about him asked, "Is it because you didn't do publicity?"

He replied with a sad face, "No, I did all the publicity seriously."

"What did you say?"

"I say to everyone: Our products are always ahead of other products."

"What are you selling?"

"Look."

Someone asked the boss, "When you recruit people, why do you always recruit those who have been married?"

Boss: "Because married people can bear the pressure, and even if they are scolded, they can complete the task without saying a word."

A worker asked the director's secretary:

"Why do directors always sit in the front row when they go to the theater?"

"lead the masses."

"But why did he sit in the middle at the movies?"

"Go deep into the masses."

"When the guests come, why is there always our factory director at the table?"

"on behalf of the masses."

"But he sits in his office every day ..."

"Fool, trust the masses!"

Laurie is a typical serious soldier, and his playful family also has a strong military color. For example, the plastic sign at the door of the kitchen reads: "Please cherish the food of the Food Supply Department", and the door of the living room reads: "Information exchange, confidentiality and anti-espionage". There are "Men's dormitory, Zhuang Jing self-improvement" in the son's bedroom, and "Women's dormitory, not surprised" in the daughter's boudoir. One day, guests came to visit and guessed that the sign of the headquarters must be hung in their husband and wife's bedroom. Surprisingly, the sign says "Happy Recruit Training Center" ...

A miser went to a bar to drink, took out the money prepared in advance and ordered a glass of beer.

Halfway through the drink, he felt anxious and wanted to go to the bathroom. But I'm afraid others will drink.

So he borrowed a pen and paper from the waiter. The paper says: I spit in the cup.

Then he left safely.

After a while, he came back and found the wine still there. He is very happy.

However, he found a few more words on the note: I threw up, too!

A man went to see a psychiatrist: "I really can't stand it!" " My wife is cheating on me! Psychologist: Relax, how could I cheat on you? "Man:" She goes to the bar every night and is interested in almost all men. I am going crazy! " "Psychologist:" Don't get too excited! Tell me, where is this bar? "

(Choose me! ! ! )