Ask 5 short English jokes 10.

Mom: There is no electricity tonight.

Mike: Then let's wear candy and watch TV.

Mike: Mom, I want to watch TV.

Mom: The power went out tonight.

Mike: Then let's light candles.

2. Fishing nets

"Can you tell me what fishing nets are made of, Ann?"

"Many small holes tied together with ropes," the little girl replied.

fishnet

"Ann, can you tell me what the fishing net is made of?" The teacher asked.

"Fishing nets are made of many small holes tied together with ropes," the little girl replied.

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You are a good boy," mother said proudly. "Give you two cents. But why are you so interested in that old woman? "

"She is a candy seller."

Good boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.

"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he replied. "You are such a good boy," mother said proudly. "Give you two cents. But why are you so interested in that old lady? "

"She sells sweets."

I just bit my tongue.

"Are we poisonous?" The young snake asked his mother.

"Yes, dear," she answered. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I just bit my tongue!"

I just bit my tongue.

"Are we poisonous?" A young snake asked its mother.

"Yes, dear," she answered. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I just bit my tongue."

5. A woman who fell down

It was rush hour, and I rushed to a train at new york Central Station. As I approached the gate, a plump middle-aged woman rushed up from behind, lost her foothold on the smooth marble floor and slipped on her back. Her momentum brought her close to my shoes. However, before I could help her, she had climbed up. She calmed down, winked at me and said, "Do you always let beautiful women fall at your feet?"

A depraved woman

During the rush hour, I hurried to new york Luxury Center Station to catch the train. Near the door, a chubby middle-aged woman rushed from behind, only to find that she slipped on the smooth marble floor and slipped on her back. Her inertia brought her close to my feet. I was going to help her, but she stood up by herself. She calmed down, raised my eyebrows and said, "Do beautiful women always fall at your feet?"

6. He is really a big shot.

-My uncle has 1000 people.

-He's really something. What does he do?

-The maintenance man in the cemetery.

He is really a big shot.

There are 1000 people under my uncle.

-He's really a big shot. What do you do?

Graveyard keeper.

7. Soon after an old lady from China came back from visiting her daughter in the United States, she went to a city bank to deposit the dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk carefully checked every bill to see if it was true. This made the old lady impatient.

Finally, she couldn't hold on any longer and said. "Believe me, Sir, believe in money. They are real dollars. They are directly from the United States. "

They were brought directly from America.

An old lady from China came back from visiting her daughter in the United States and went to a city bank to deposit the dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the bank clerk carefully checked every banknote to see if it was fake.

This made the old woman very impatient. Finally, she couldn't help saying, "Trust me, sir, and please trust these bills, too. These are real dollars, and they are brought directly from the United States. "

8. My puppy can't read.

Mrs. Brown: Oh, dear, I have lost my beloved dog!

Mrs Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the newspaper!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use. My little dog can't read.

My dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh,

Honey, I lost my precious puppy!

Mrs Smith: But you should put an advertisement in the newspaper!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use. My puppy can't read. "

9. Bring me the winner

Waiter, this lobster has only one paw.

-I'm sorry, sir. It must be fighting.

-Well, then bring me the winner.

Give me the winner.

Waiter, this lobster has only one paw.

Sorry, sir, but this one must have been in a fight.

Oh, then give me the winner.

10. Suggestions for "children"

Give some advice to people who are about to retire. If you are only 65 years old, never move to a retirement community. Everyone else is in their 70s, 80s or 90s. So, when something needs to be moved, lifted or loaded, they will shout, "Take the child away."

Advice for "young people"

Here I want to give some advice to those who are about to retire. If you are only 65 years old,

Never go to a retirement community. Because everyone there is seventy or eighty years old or eighty or ninety years old. Whenever they want to move, lift or load something, they shout, "Let the little one do it."