Who can help me come up with a funny opening and closing speech for New Year's Day?

The opening line of the class party we held last night was that two people made a funny lively atmosphere because they were vegetarians in their own class. Haha, it’s quite good, but it’s not a thousand. Don't make cold jokes

Hit~~beat~~beat~~robbery~~! !

Opening remarks:

A: The New Year’s bell is about to ring, and the wheel of time has left another deep mark. With the warm sunshine in winter, New Year's Day in 2006 has arrived as promised;

B: At this moment, we have already felt the breath of spring. This is the spring of our school, this is our (XX) The spring of the big family, this is the spring of each of us;

A: Today, we meet here to enjoy the joy that fate brings us and enjoy this wonderful time;

B: Today, we gather here, feel the true feelings with our hearts, and melt the ice and snow with love;

A: Today, we gather here, open your heart and release your passion;

A: Today, we gather here, open your heart and release your passion;

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B: Today, we gather here, this place will become a sea of ??joy, let happiness resound through the sky!

A: The 2006 New Year’s Day Party starts now! First of all, a New Year's message from Chief X! (...) Thank you to Mr. I wish everyone all the best in the new year and all your wishes will come true!

Program text (excerpt):

1. New year, new atmosphere, in the new year, you are all What thoughts do you have? The thoughts of the students in Class Enter the first section of today's party !

12. Everyone has had an innocent childhood, which flows like a clear spring in our hearts. When we grow up, we often think of our childhood. , we will all have endless aftertaste. Next, *** from Class Their heart, coupled with Xiao Cui's wit, makes them even more united. Next, ***, ***, and *** will perform the 02-level version of "Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow" for us!

27. After a dance full of youthful vitality, we come to *** to enjoy a song "Intimate Lover".

30. The beautiful sound of the flute tells a very touching story. On the road of life, we will experience setbacks and failures, but as long as we keep working hard, we will eventually succeed, because "The sun always comes after the storm"!

53. In ****, whether teachers or classmates, sincerity relies on each other. This place not only teaches, but also educates people. Everyone here has felt this, but the ones who feel it most deeply are the teachers who have stayed in the school in the past. Let us listen to their "True Confession" .

Conclusion:

A: What a touching night, what an unforgettable time. Although we cannot stop the passage of time, we can control our own mood;

B: Today’s party further reflects that the Vocational Education Department is a dynamic and future-oriented group;

< p>A: Here, the school motto "******" points out the direction of our efforts, encourages people to make progress, and inspires people;

B: Here, there are hardworking gardeners who work silently, There are students who are diligent in their pursuit;

A: Here, the fragrance of ink exudes, and the pulse of youth beats;

B: Here, there is our passion for life, Even more, we have a desire for the future;

He: Because we always believe that tomorrow will be better!

A: Today’s party ends here. I wish you all a happy new year, all the best, and all your wishes come true!

Process it yourself