I think life is so painful!

Maybe I'm better than you. I'm not that sick.

Tell you my story.

I grew up in the countryside, a child in a big ravine. From the moment I was born, my father knew that I was a girl, not a boy, so he never looked at me. Growing up (I'm 25 years old), I haven't spoken to my father for more than five minutes, and now I don't know how to communicate with him. My family is poor, so I only wear two sets of new clothes a year, sometimes just one set of clothes for the New Year, and the rest are picked up from other people's clothes. Mom and dad have been quarrelling. As long as I can remember, until I left home three years ago, they had been quarreling. When I was a child, I came home from school covered in blood, my father's body was cut, and my mother was knocked unconscious. I drink all day and scold the street every day. I am like a frightened bird, and I spend every day in fear. Maybe you haven't experienced the days when people you know are laughing at you, pointing to your back and saying, whose daughter do you think, what is her father, and how does her mother feel? On a spring outing, all the students went to the mountains to buy ice cream with food and money. Only I, surrounded by the sixth grade, was told that her family was too poor to buy an ice cream. Do you know how I feel? The child's self-esteem was completely hurt. Actually, ice cream was only 20 cents at that time. There are countless such things. After the college entrance examination, I took two months off. As a girl, I don't even have a summer dress, but some are school uniforms. Hehe, I bought a 40-yuan dress in college, 18 yuan so-called backpack to buy food. So far, I will never forget it. When I was very young, probably in the fourth grade, I experienced the first painful memory of a girl in my life. Don't talk about that, because I am fat, my classmates bully me. Everyone doesn't like me and avoids me. I became withdrawn, silent, and had no friends or companions. For so many years, I have been alone, eating, sleeping, studying, doing my homework and going to the toilet. Most holidays are spent indoors. I am depressed, cynical, at a loss, and afraid to meet strangers. I don't deal with people, and I don't buy clothes, because I have never bought clothes, but my mother has bought them, and the number of times she buys them is pitiful. After graduating last year, life became bleak. I feel weak and have no background. Living in this society is like a grain of sand, so small. Now, I am looking for a job online. It may be difficult to find a job. I am fat and ugly, so no one has hired me so far. Actually, I'll try. I don't know what job will be waiting for me in the future. At that time, my mind went blank, I got depression, cried every day, and hurt every day.

Hehe, I wonder if you are in the mood to watch it. Anyway, I'm venting and giving you some confidence. After all, there are many people worse off than you. They live proudly, live like human beings and live wonderfully. Spirit is the most important, more effective than any medicine.

I try to live, find happiness in pain, and tell myself that no one else lives so well, be content, sigh, and tomorrow will pass. Thinking about those who are worse off, I find myself actually very happy. As long as you are alive, there is no reason to give up, right?