Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - A sketch about AIDS
A sketch about AIDS
First act
(The sign of "physical examination" is on the left side of the stage, and the sign of "HIV antibody detection" is on the right side, next to the nurse station)
(Zhang Hao and Xiao Li go on stage on the left, talking while walking)
Zhang Hao: Xiao Li, the company's performance is really good this year. Arrange a physical examination for us. I haven't drawn blood for years.
Xiao Li: I heard that the leaders of the district CDC go to work in various units one by one, so that bosses can care about the health status of employees.
Zhang Hao: Hey, what's the test here?
Nurse: Hello, on a voluntary basis, we will take blood samples for you for the initial screening test of AIDS blood for free.
Zhang Hao: AIDS, I'd better forget it. Pretty scary.
Xiao Li: What are you afraid of? Just do a blood type test.
(Two people fill in the form, Zhang Haojiao)
Nurse: What you fill in here is the high-risk group of AIDS.
Zhang Hao: Yes, we usually work on the 27th floor.
Nurse: (smiling) The high-risk groups here refer to those who are easily infected and spread AIDS.
Xiao Li: You are really uneducated, aren't you? It's similar to hanging out with key people of our size.
Nurse: The key population refers to the spouses or sexual partners of high-risk population, teenagers and floating population. You are all ordinary community residents, and you should be just the general population.
Zhang Hao: Oh, I see.
Xiao Li: It's your turn. Let's leave now.
Act ii
(Phone rings)
Secretary: Hello, Landa Company. Zhang Hao is out. Oh, there is something wrong with Zhang Hao's blood sample. Tell him to go to the hospital this afternoon. Ok, thank you. Goodbye.
(Hang up, everyone is busy, and someone walks from time to time)
Secretary: Tell Zhang Hao that the hospital informed him that there was something wrong with the blood in the physical examination and told him to go to the hospital at once.
Xiao Li: Zhang Hao is in the warehouse. He will be back soon. Oh, my God, we had an AIDS blood test that day. He won't. . .
(Everyone waited for five minutes, it was a mess, and some people were talking.)
Sister Zhang: That's a fatal disease.
Xiao Li: It's not only fatal, but also very spreading. It's over, it's over. I also ate half of his steamed bread (vomiting) this morning.
Sister Zhang: Seeing that he is usually honest, how did he get this disease?
Qiaojie: It's called knowing people's faces and not knowing their hearts. Maybe they will spend it secretly. You're not gonna do this with him, are you?
Xiao Li: Don't kiss our ass. Even gay people don't look for his style. He is an addict. We usually smoke a green Nanjing and take drugs. Miss, even if I go, it will be the company's hospitality. I am very polite. I don't know what he looks like.
Secretary: I think we should pay attention to it. Should this office be disinfected?
Xiao Li: That makes sense. Come on, 84, radar is invincible. Take out all the SARS stocks.
(Xiao Li mops the floor, everyone is busy. )
Qiaojie: Xiao Li, your boy is most afraid of death. I've never seen you so active at work.
Xiao Li: Qiaojie, don't laugh at me at this time.
(Zhang Hao walks in from the outside)
Zhang Hao: What day is it today? I'll come as soon as I finish cleaning.
(Everyone stops their work and automatically flashes to both sides, while Xiao Li hides aside. )
Xiao Li: Zhang Hao, the hospital said that you were diagnosed with AIDS and asked you to go there at once.
Zhang Hao: AIDS, how is it possible, me. . .
Schreiber: This sudden news made Zhang Hao feel at a loss. The scene of eating and drinking with customers a month ago suddenly appeared in my mind, and then he went to KTV and spent a night in a daze. Isn't that night? . .
Act iii
Voice-over: good things don't go out, but bad things spread thousands of miles. Zhang Hao's neighbors first got the news that Zhang Hao was "sick".
Enthusiasts in the community, Aunt Sun, who won an award in the last SARS battle, volunteered to lead several aunts to form a fully armed "AIDS prevention team" and stood at the gate of the community, waiting for Zhang Hao to return.
(Zhang Hao walks back slowly)
Voice-over: Zhang Hao, who had been wandering for a long time, was exhausted physically and mentally, and trudged back to his residential area.
Aunt Sun: (wearing overalls, masks and gloves) Zhang Hao! Don't move.
(Zhang Hao is startled and falls to the ground)
Aunt Sun: Sisters! In-
(At this moment, two aunts wearing the same clothes came from around. When they came up, they held Zhang Hao down, dressed him and put on a mask. )
Zhang Hao: You! What are you doing? (struggling)
(After getting dressed, the aunts put it away)
Aunt Sun: You have a very infectious disease in Zhang Hao, which is more serious than SARS and bird flu. You must isolate it!
Aunt Sun: (walking) Zhang Hao, don't be afraid to get sick. You must do a good job of handling it. We should trust the government and the party. .....
(Zhang Hao breaks free and turns and runs away. )
Aunt Sun: Xiao Zhang! -Stop running! This must be isolated! -Quarantine!
(Aunt Sun is coming with other aunts.)
Act IV
Zhang Hao: Now the aunt of the neighborhood committee is stronger and runs faster than Liu Xiang. . . . Try calling first. Hello, is this the hospital?
Doctor: Hello, health consultation hotline. Please press 1 for Mandarin, 2 for Nanjing dialect and 3 for English. ;
Zhang Hao: 1
Doctor: The health consultation hotline provides Mandarin service. Press 1 for sneezing, runny nose and coughing, and press 2 for eating too much and having diarrhea.
If you don't have it, you can't pull it out. Press 3, 4 for chronic non-communicable diseases and 5 for AIDS.
Zhang Hao: 5.
Doctor: Come to the hospital quickly.
Patient: Doctor, I dreamed of meeting Chairman Mao last night. His father told me that I must have AIDS. Please treat me quickly.
Doctor: I said, Lao Wang, you were here this time last year. You have done more than 70 tests. The window period has already passed. I promise you'll be fine. Go home and live in peace.
Patient: Doctor, the lady with AIDS touched me. Please let me try it again, Chairman Mao said. . .
Doctor: OK, OK, OK, let's have a test.
Patient: Come on, nurse, smoke mine first.
Zhang Hao: I'm from Landa Company. I came for a physical examination a few days ago. Let me know when it is measured.
Doctor: Did you drink before you came that day?
Zhang Hao: You know. Maybe it's from the hostess. Go and arrest her quickly, so as not to hurt anyone.
Doctor: Your blood alcohol content is too high to measure other indicators.
Zhang Hao: I thought I was Lanzi.
Doctor: AIDS? Don't talk nonsense People now love themselves and are afraid of themselves.
Zhang Hao: Which son of a bitch spread a lie? I'll bite him to death when I get back.
Act v
(Xiao Li looks at the test paper on the desk)
Sister Joe: (waving) Xiao Li, Xiao Li. (Picking up the paper on the table), God, AIDS.
Zhang Hao: Xiao Li, I'm not sick at all, just because your boy spread the news that I have AIDS. Come on, you come out and we'll practice together. Boy, I must teach you a lesson today.
(Zhang Hao turns around)
Zhang Hao: What's wrong with you? Look at your energy this morning. Why do you fade now?
Xiao Li: (crying with Zhang Hao in her arms) Brother Zhang, I, I know.
(Zhang Hao is at a loss)
Zhang Hao: That's all right, Xiao Li. Don't worry. People with AIDS can live a normal life. The country, government and society will not abandon you. Let me know if you need anything.
(Everyone comes on stage to comfort Xiao Li)
Voice-over: What is more terrible than AIDS is people's inner indifference. Let's use love to melt the iceberg in the hearts of AIDS patients and soothe their devastated hearts.
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