Interesting short film classical Chinese

1. What humorous jokes are there in classical Chinese? 1. "Praise money" 1. Original: A person gets lost, meets the mute, and doesn't answer questions. Only when he makes money with his hands means that he will get the money will he be willing to guide him. This man means counting money with him. The dumb man opened his mouth and pointed out the way. The man asked, "Why? Dumb: "In today's world, talk if you have money! "2. A lost man met a mute who didn't answer. "Dumb" will only give money by hand and show the way. The lost man understood the meaning and immediately took out some money to the "dumb". "Dumb" opened his mouth and pointed to the road. The lost man asked, "Why do you pretend to be deaf?" "Dumb" said: "In today's world, you can talk if you have money. "

3. Excerpted from Laughter in the Woods, a collection of signature games in the Qing Dynasty, mostly jokes in the Ming and Qing Dynasties. Second, "righteousness" 1, the original text: the most greedy official.

One day, two people were arrested (tried) for dysprosium, and the plaintiff gave fifty gold. When the defendant heard about it, he paid double the bribe. The trial, regardless of the reason, draws lots to beat the plaintiff.

The plaintiff will make a gesture of counting to five and say, "Small is reasonable." The official also replied with his hand: "Slave, you are right."

He shook his hand and said, "He is more reasonable than you." 2. An official is very greedy. One day, he arrested the plaintiff and defendant for trial. The plaintiff gave the official 520 gold, and the defendant doubled the bribe as soon as he heard it.

When the court opened, officials drew lots indiscriminately and beat the plaintiff. The plaintiff pointed his finger and said, "I'm right."

The official also held out five fingers and said, "Slave, although you are right", and then turned his hand and said, "He is more right than you!" 3, source: rational, pinyin yǒu lǐ, from A Dream of Red Mansions. 3. "Confusion" 1, the original text: A young blind man was involved in the lawsuit and complained of blindness.

The official said, "How can you cheat when you have a pair of white eyes?" Answer: "The master thinks that the villain is innocent, and the villain thinks that the master is confused." 2. A green-blind man was involved in a lawsuit. He argued that he was blind.

The official said, "Your eyes are blue and white. What are you pretending to be blind? " The man replied, "You look at me innocently, but I think you are confused!" " "3. Excerpted from Laughter in the Woods. Fourth, "Du Zi helps out" 1, the original text: A military attache goes out and loses.

Suddenly there is a magic weapon to help, and the victory is great. The military attache knocked on God's name, and God said, "I am the god of stacks."

The military attache asked, "What is the virtue of that young man, who dares to work hard to save the immortal?" God said, "I only feel that you have never hurt me with an arrow in the teaching field." 2. Once upon a time, a military commander went to war and was about to fail.

Suddenly, with the help of the magic warrior, defeat turned into victory. The military commander kowtowed and asked the name of God, and the immortal said, "I am a stack god."

The military commander said, "What kind of kindness and ability do I have to ask the stack god to save me?" The god replied, "I only thank you for never hurting me with an arrow when you practice archery on the school playground." 3. Source: Selected from Pu Songling's Strange Tales from a Lonely Studio in Qing Dynasty.

Five, "Tian Jian Swallow Chicken" 1, the original text: A rich man has more than one acre, and rents it to Zhang San, and each acre gets a chicken. Zhang San hid the chicken behind his back, and the owner of the field chanted, "This field is different from Zhang San." Zhang San quickly offered the chicken, and the owner shouted, "Who would Zhang San be without it?" Zhang San said, "I didn't hear about it at first, but I heard about it later. Why? " Master Tian said: "At first, the chicken didn't say anything. Later, I did it when I saw it."

2. A rich man, who has extra fields at home, wants to rent three kinds of land to Zhang, (on condition) giving a chicken per acre. Zhang San put the chicken behind his back, and the farmer (the rich man) sang, "This field will not be cultivated by Zhang San." Zhang San quickly took out the chicken for him. Master Tian sang "Who won't give it back to Zhang San?" Zhang San said: "I just heard you say that you didn't give me (seeds), and then you gave me seeds." Why? " The owner said: "I didn't talk about chicken (recording) at first, but I did it as soon as I saw the chicken (machine)." 3. Excerpted from Laughter in the Woods.

2. Seek the annotation translation of ten ancient short essays. Aileen said: The land of flowers and the plants and trees of water are very sweet.

Tao Jinyuan clearly loves chrysanthemums. Since Li Tang came, people all over the world have loved peonies.

Love lotus alone, dirt-free, clear but not demon. Straight outside, not crawling, fragrant and clear. It is slim and elegant, so you can look at it from a distance without looking ridiculous. Want to call chrysanthemum, the hermit of flowers; Peony, blooming with wealth; Lotus, the gentleman of flowers.

Hey! The love between chrysanthemums and flowers is rarely heard after Tao. Who gave the lotus love? Peony love is suitable for many people.

There are many kinds of terrestrial herbs and woody flowers, which are worth loving. Tao Yuanming of the Eastern Jin Dynasty only loved chrysanthemums.

Peony has been loved by the world since Li in Tang Dynasty. I only like lotus (because it grows out of mud and is not polluted), washed with clear water, but it doesn't look attractive. Its stem is straight inside the outer space, without vines and redundant branches. Its fragrance spreads far away, making it more and more quiet, straight and clean. You can look at it from a distance, but you can't play with it at close range and seriously.

I think chrysanthemum is a hermit in flowers; Peony is a rich flower among flowers; Lotus is a gentleman among flowers. Alas! Tao Yuanming's love for chrysanthemums has rarely been heard of since then.

Who else loves lotus flowers as much as I do? There should be many people who love peony! The original text of the Three Gorges is 700 miles away from the Three Gorges, with mountains on both sides and no gaps. Rocks piled up like mountains, blocking the sun and the sky.

I haven't seen the rising moon since midnight in the pavilion. As for launching Xiangling, it is along the back block.

Or the king ordered an emergency notice, sometimes going to Baidicheng and going to Jiangling at dusk. During this period, although he took the wind, he didn't get sick. In spring and summer, the green pool is surging and the reflection is clear.

Absolutely? There are many strange cypresses, hanging springs and waterfalls, waterfalls. Rong Qing Junmao, it's fun.

At the beginning of every sunny day, the frost shines, the forest is cold and sad, and there are often high apes whistling, which leads to sadness, the empty valley echoes, and the sadness turns to leisurely. So the fisherman sang: "The Wuxia Gorge in the Three Gorges of Badong is long, and the apes cry three times, and tears are spilled on their skirts."

The Three Gorges is 700 miles, with mountains on both sides and almost no gaps. Layers of peaks and rocks cover the sky and block the sun.

If there were no noon and midnight, we would not see the sun and the moon. In summer, floods overflow the hills on both sides of the river, and the upper and lower sewers are cut off.

Sometimes the emperor has an imperial decree, which must be conveyed quickly. He started from Baidicheng in the morning and arrived at Jiangling, which is 1200 miles away in the evening. Even if he rides a galloping horse and flies in the long wind, it's not that fast. Spring and winter festivals, white rapids, dancing waves; The green pool reflects the mountains on both sides.

On the extremely steep mountain peak, there are many cypresses and waterfalls with strange postures, where the water is clear and the trees are luxuriant, the mountains are steep and the green grass is abundant, which is really interesting. In Chuqing after the rain or first frost Day, every morning, the Shan Ye in the forest is cold and bleak, and there are often apes singing in the heights, and the sound is continuous and abnormal.

The echo echoed in the empty valley and it took a long time to disappear. So the fisherman sang: "The Wuxia Gorge in the Three Gorges of Badong is long, and the apes cry three times."

Li Bai's preface to the Spring Banquet Peach and Plum Garden is the reverse of everything. Time flies, and a hundred generations have passed. And floating like a dream, for joy geometry? The ancients walked by candlelight at night, not bad.

Kuang Yangchun told me to smoke, and I made a big fake article. Will be full of peaches and plums, family happiness.

Qun Ji Jun Xiu, all for Huilian; We sing, and we are ashamed of our happiness. You didn't get a reward, you can tell me.

Give a banquet, sit on flowers, fly feathers and get drunk on the moon. If there is no masterpiece, why open your arms? If the poem fails, it will be punished according to the number of wines in Jingu. Heaven and earth are hostels for all things, and time is a passer-by for hundreds of generations.

Life is impermanent, like a dream. How many happy days can there be? There is a reason why the ancients played with candles at night! More importantly, the clear and mild spring attracts us with beautiful scenery, and nature provides us with splendid scenery. Now let's gather in the fragrant garden of peaches and plums and talk about the happiness between brothers.

My brothers are all smart, and they all have the talent of Xie Huilian. Everyone sings poetry, but I feel ashamed that I can't compare with Xie.

Quietly enjoying the scenery on the spring night is not over yet, and the indulgent talk has turned into elegance. Put on a luxurious banquet, sit among the flowers, raise glasses frequently, and get drunk in the moonlight.

Without good poetry, how can you express elegant feelings? If a poem fails, according to the precedent of Jinguyuan, there are two ways to punish Liu Zongyuan, one is to start from Xishan Road in the north, and the other is to cross Huangmaoling. One is to go west and get nothing; One is less in the north and east, but 40 feet, the soil is broken and Sichuan is divided, and there are accumulated stones across its vastness.

Above it, it is the shape of a proud Liang Li; Next to the castle pier, there is a door. Peeking at the dark and throwing stones, the hole is full of water, and its sound is fierce for a long time.

The ring can be seen far up. Without soil, a good tree and a beautiful arrow were born, strange and powerful.

Its sparse number is suppressed, which is also determined by the wise. Hey! I have doubted the existence of the creator for a long time, and the more I think it is sincere.

It's strange that it's not Zhongzhou, but Yidi, who won't sell it for a thousand years. It's hard work and useless. If the fairy is not suitable, will it be fruitless? Or: "to comfort your husband, to be ashamed of this person." Or: "Qi Qi is not a great man, but a unique thing, so there are fewer people and more stones in southern Chu."

Both. I don't believe it. From the intersection of Xishan to the north, through Huangmaoling, there are two roads: one is to the west, where I went to find (scenery) but found nothing; The other one turned slightly to the east and walked less than forty feet. The road was cut off by a river, and there was a stone mountain at the end of the road.

The rock above forms the shape of a female wall and a beam, and there is a hole protruding like a fortress and a door. Visiting from the cave, it was dark and a small stone was thrown in. The sound of water came from the hole, and the sound of agitation disappeared for a long time.

You can climb to the top of the mountain by circling the rocky mountain, and you can see far away. There is no soil on the mountain, but there are good trees and arrows, which are more peculiar in shape and hard in texture. Those rocks are densely distributed and oblique, as if they were deliberately arranged by wise men.

Alas! I doubt whether the creator exists for a long time, and here I think the creator does exist. But strangely, he did not create such beautiful scenery in the Central Plains, but put it in the remote Yongzhou. Even after thousands of years, he didn't have a chance to show his strange scenery. It's futile and useless.