It is difficult to find a job after graduating from college. What should I do if I am laughed at and looked down upon?

Characteristics and problems of college students' interpersonal communication

Interpersonal communication is an important part of people's growth and socialization. No one can live without social life, so interpersonal communication is inevitable. Having good interpersonal relationships is not only conducive to the healthy growth of our college students on campus, but also helps us to move towards society, change our roles, further socialize and make necessary psychological and behavioral preparations. In social psychology, interpersonal communication includes two meanings: from a dynamic point of view, interpersonal communication refers to the exchange of information and goods between people, and from a static point of view, interpersonal communication refers to the relationship that has been formed between people, usually called interpersonal relationship. 1. Interpersonal communication is the need of college students' own growth. 1. Interpersonal communication is an important part of college students' life. Interpersonal communication is an instinctive behavior of human beings, and anyone needs to get psychological satisfaction by interacting with others. Chinese college students are in the mature period of personality, so normal interpersonal communication is very important for understanding and enriching themselves and promoting physical and mental health. Maslow, an American humanistic psychologist, put forward the hierarchy theory of needs, which ranked human needs from low to high as follows: physiological needs, security needs, communication needs, respect needs and self-realization needs, among which communication needs, respect needs and self-realization needs are unique to human beings. The need for communication refers to a person's need to get close to others, cooperate with each other and develop friendship, which is an important part of spiritual needs. In the process of our college students' personal growth, the need for communication is very urgent, and it is also a necessary condition for the normal development of individual psychology. When we were young, it was particularly urgent to be accepted and understood. German scholar Sprenger said: "There is no stronger desire to be understood than in youth in one's life. Nobody likes it.

Young people are so lonely and eager to be accepted and understood. "Interpersonal communication is a necessary prerequisite for the development of mental health, and good interpersonal communication is the need for college students to affirm their self-worth and promote their physical and mental health. People who are good at communication can often get a lot from interpersonal communication. People can know and accept themselves while expanding their social life and contacting more people and things. Only in communication can we better understand ourselves and others, find out our strengths and weaknesses, find out the gap between ourselves and others through others' reactions, attitudes and evaluations, position ourselves reasonably, foster strengths and avoid weaknesses, learn from each other's strengths, and thus develop and improve ourselves. The more contact a person has with others, the richer his life experience and the wider his contacts, and the more objective and comprehensive his understanding and evaluation will be. At the same time, people can think with their brains and solve problems only by staying in activities and constantly interacting with others, so as to exercise and improve their memory, thinking ability and even create things. In communication, people will learn to get along better with others and establish good interpersonal relationships. As modern college students, there are not a few people who are afraid, unwilling and not good at communication in interpersonal communication. This will not only seriously affect their mental health and the improvement of their comprehensive quality, but also lead to psychological problems if they lack communication, are too self-enclosed, or often have abnormal communication, which will seriously lead to abnormal personality and be extremely unfavorable to our own development. 2. Interpersonal communication is an important part of college students' socialization. People are social people, and mutual communication is inevitable. Interpersonal communication is an important part of the socialization of college students in China. If we want to survive in society, we must learn to adapt to the environment, learn the knowledge, skills and behavior norms accumulated by society, master the skills of dealing with interpersonal relationships, and acquire and develop our own sociality. With the growth of our age, this socialization has changed from external enlightenment to individual internalization, and several forms of internalization (imitation

Learning, subjective identification, cognitive processing and role-playing are all inseparable from practical activities and interpersonal communication. Some college students have defects and deviations in interpersonal communication, so they can't have regular communication and realize individual socialization well. For example, after graduation, some people are at a loss at work and will not associate with others. Some people feel that society is strange and difficult to adapt to, which leads to some psychological obstacles: we should not only put what we read in books into our life, but also learn a lot from life that books can't learn, communicate with more people normally, adapt to society, transform society and improve ourselves well. In short, people need to be with others. Second, the characteristics and main problems of college students' interpersonal communication 1. Characteristics of College Students' Interpersonal Communication As college students, on campus, our interpersonal communication has characteristics corresponding to our social knowledge and experience in terms of willingness, content and methods. Mainly manifested in: First, the urgency of communication desire. With the growth of age, the improvement of knowledge and cognitive ability, and the expansion of living space, college students have an urgent desire to communicate. Compared with high school, we pay more attention to interpersonal communication than to study, and it is particularly urgent to be understood and accepted. Second, the breadth of communication. The communication between our college students is not limited to classmates, but also involves people between classes, departments, teachers and students, inside and outside the school. Third, the richness of communication content. Similar age and social cognitive level make us have a wide range of interests and active thoughts. We pay attention to various natural and social phenomena and have rich communication content. In addition to professional knowledge, it also covers literature and art, economy, culture, history, folk customs, daily life and so on. Fourth, the openness of the communication system. College students are eager for knowledge, curious, and easy to get in touch with new things. Plus, they come from all over the world, their family situation,

Different lives determine that communication is a multi-level open system. In addition, the psychological complexity of communication, we are in the period of personality development, and our personality is not stable. We have not only naive and romantic psychology, but also lonely and autistic psychology, which is easy to produce many unhealthy psychology in communication. 2. The main problems in college students' interpersonal communication Because of the differences in personality factors and social environment, some college students in China have some problems in their communication, which creates obstacles to harmonious interpersonal relations. At present, there are two main types of interpersonal problems of college students: one is the lack of interpersonal skills, and the other is the psychological obstacle of interpersonal communication. A. Common problems in interpersonal skills mainly include: difficulty in getting along with people, lack of intimate friends, dull communication with people, poor communication with people, etc. Some people mainly show that they can't live, be human, communicate well, communicate with others, and understand the skills and principles of communication. In addition, some people are easy to be autistic and difficult to communicate. Some people communicate in order to make friends and follow the trend at the expense of the principle of being a man, which easily leads to psychological problems. Some people are afraid of communication, unwilling to communicate and not good at communication in interpersonal communication. These obstacles belong to cognition, emotion and personality, which seriously affect our normal interpersonal communication and mental health. B. There are all kinds of unhealthy psychology in communication, such as inferiority, loneliness, jealousy, revenge, saving face, impulsiveness, isolation and confusion. Here are a few: 1, inferiority complex. People with low self-esteem are pessimistic, melancholy and withdrawn, afraid to associate with others, think that they are inferior to others everywhere, are introverted, and always feel that others look down on them. This kind of people are mainly caused by the following reasons: too much self-denial, negative self-suggestion, frustration.

Voice and psychological or physical defects. For example, some students are short, ugly, humble, poor in learning and so on. 2. Loneliness. Loneliness is a feeling of isolation from the world, with no one to communicate emotionally or ideologically, and a lonely psychological state. Lonely people often show malaise and produce discordant sadness, which affects normal study, communication and life. This kind of students are mainly caused by the following reasons: personality, overconfidence and self-esteem, frustration. 3. Jealousy is a kind of unhappiness, shame, resentment and even destructive behavior caused by comparing with others and finding that they are inferior to each other in talent, study and reputation. The characteristics are: dissatisfaction with the strengths and achievements of others, and jealousy; Seeing that others are unwilling to take the lead, I always hope that others will fall behind me. Another feature of jealousy is that it has no courage to compete, and it often takes sarcasm, sarcasm, crackdown or even illegal behavior to cause harm to others. 4. Revenge mentality. The so-called revenge is to vent the dissatisfaction and resentment of those who bring setbacks to themselves through attacks in interpersonal communication. It is extremely aggressive and emotional. People who are narrow-minded and bad-natured often have revenge psychology and behavior when they are frustrated. According to the research of social psychologists, revenge psychology is not only related to the same-sex characteristics, but also related to the attribution and environment of setbacks, and revenge is often carried out in a hidden form. Because revengers often appear as the weak, they don't have enough psychological endurance and public counterattack ability, so they have to take revenge in a hidden way! This kind of psychology has brought great resistance and pressure to the interpersonal communication of the revenger. 5, different to confusion. Going abroad is a normal social activity, but it is also a social obstacle that has always plagued college students. Some college students mainly can't distinguish correctly.

And in dealing with the relationship between friendship and love, some college students can't draw a clear line between friendship and love, so they turn friendship into love. In addition, some college students are influenced by traditional ideas, especially the cultural tradition of "men and women give and receive without kissing" in feudal society. They think that there is nothing between men and women except love, so they have not yet established a correct "opposite sex friend view" The other is influence. Some schools, teachers and parents interfere in the communication between boys and girls, which will inevitably increase the difficulty of communication between the opposite sex. Third, learn interpersonal knowledge and cultivate interpersonal skills 1. Learn interpersonal knowledge. Interpersonal factors include interpersonal cognition, sewing emotion, personality, communication knowledge and skills. When learning the knowledge of interpersonal communication, we should start with cognition, master the correct interpersonal perception, and avoid all kinds of interpersonal deviations in interpersonal perception, such as first impression, stereotype effect, halo effect, recency effect and so on. At the same time, we should understand the role of interpersonal communication factors (such as communication purpose, communication tools and communication situation) and interpersonal attraction factors (such as similarity factors, complementarity factors, idiosyncratic factors and instrumental factors) in communication. We should also pay attention to the cultivation of healthy emotions and sound personality. We should have a correct pursuit of life, a broad mind, be able to adapt to life rationally and find happiness around us. We should also master appropriate channels and ways to control, express and vent our emotions, and turn negative emotions and contradictory emotions into positive and healthy emotions. In addition, we should also pay attention to the cultivation of interpersonal communication methods and skills. From the perspective of communicative psychology, we should learn positive self-suggestion: psychological research shows that good self-image and self-awareness will make people walk towards people with an open attitude, make people feel calm, and have few preconceived defensive psychology, so they can speak freely. Using positive hints can reduce bad self-expression and have firm confidence in communication. In communication, we should be positive and enthusiastic: "enthusiasm" is the most important.

Being able to impress people is one of the most attractive qualities of people. We should be happy with ourselves first and be interested in others at the same time. Practice shows that people are more likely to like people who are interested in themselves. Everyone should be regarded as an important person: self-esteem is maintained and self-worth is recognized, which is the strongest psychological desire of many people. Let others save face in communication, don't try to change people through arguments, but discover and appreciate the advantages of others. We should adhere to the correct principles of making friends: treat others sincerely, treat others as equals, tolerate others, seek common ground while reserving differences, and help each other and benefit each other. 2. Actively participate in healthy and colorful group activities. Interpersonal communication is carried out in social relations, and people's social behavior is improved and cultivated in physical activities with others, thus forming good communication ability.