Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Adapted script of Yugong Yishan classical Chinese
Adapted script of Yugong Yishan classical Chinese
Synopsis:
Two mountains in Taihang Wangwu block the way for Yugong's family to go in and out. Yugong made up his mind to dig up two big mountains and get through the road. Yugong's idea was questioned by his wife, and finally he formed a * * * knowledge, so he began to dig mountains. The son of the neighbor's widow also came to help. The wise men in the same village laughed at the foolish old man for overreaching himself, and he was speechless by his righteous words. The actions of Yu Gong were known by the mountain gods and told to the Emperor, who was moved by Yu Gong's sincerity, so he ordered his two sons to carry two mountains, making Yu Gong's dream come true.
People:
Yugong Yugong's wife Yugong's sons, neighbors, widows and her son, Guae, the God of Zhicuo Mountain
The first scene
is in the south of Jizhou, north of Heyang, and the two mountains of Taihang Wangwu, Fiona Fang, 7 Li, and Wan Ren, Gao. These two mountains are towering into the sky and boundless. As far as the eye can see. The mountains are misty and hazy, as if they were real and unreal.
an old man stood in front of his thatched cottage and saw that he was white in hair and beard and dressed in coarse clothes. I'm not young, but I'm hale and hearty He is the elder in the village who is called Yu Gong. I'm almost ninety years old this year. He stroked his beard, his expression was calm, and he looked at it intently, as if thinking about a serious problem. He thought for a long time, and suddenly, he nodded heavily, as if he had made a major decision, and turned and walked back to his home.
Scene 2
(The Yugong family is sitting together, and there are Yugong, his wife and his sons present. They are discussing something important. )
Yugong: Two big mountains in front of our house block our way in and out, which makes us have to take a long detour every time we go in and out. I want to level these two mountains and open a road to the south of Yuzhou and the south bank of Hanshui River. What do you think?
a son: I have had this idea for a long time.
a son: I agree.
First son: Dad, just tell me how to do it.
foolish husband's wife: don't blame me for throwing cold water on you, old man. Your idea is too whimsical. With your old bones, there's nothing you can do to put a grass and a tree on the mountain. What can you do to the two mountains in the King's House of Taihang? Besides, where do you put the excavated earth and stone?
everybody: (saying in succession) transport these rocks to the edge of the Bohai Sea, to the north of the hidden soil.
foolish husband's wife: you should think clearly, this is no joke. Is to suffer a lot.
everyone: we've all thought it over. Ready.
foolish husband's wife: since you say so, I have nothing to say. It's up to you.
yugong: then it's settled. Let's start tomorrow.
Scene 3
(Yu Gong's neighbor's house, a mother and son. The mother, Jingshi, is a widow, and her son, named Shuang'er, is only seven or eight years old. )
Mother: Shuang'er, look at you. You've been away from home all day. Where have you been? Let me find it easily.
Shuang'er: Mom, I went to see Grandpa Yugong and they went to dig a mountain.
mother: digging mountains? What mountain to dig?
Niang: You don't know, do you? Grandpa Yu and his family are going to dig up the mountain in front of us!
mother: why?
Shuang'er: Grandpa said that these two big mountains blocked our way in and out, so we wanted to dig them up and dig a flat road.
mother: (thoughtfully for a moment) oh, I see.
Shuang'er: Mom, shall I help them?
mother: (embarrassed and puzzled) can you do it?
Shuang'er: Mom, I can do it! (shaking mother's arm coquetry) Mom, please let me go!
mother: (thinking for a while, then making up her mind) ok. But be careful.
Shuang'er: OK! (Before saying his word, people skipped out. )
mother: (with a sigh. ) Good is good, but ...
Game 4
(The Yugong family is in full swing, and Shuang'er is also busy, and he doesn't have a rest, as if he has endless energy. An old man came to Yu Gong, and Yu Gong greeted him. )
Yugong: Yo, it's Zhizuo's brother!
Zhizuo: Yo, I said, foolish old man, what are you doing?
Yugong: Dig a mountain.
Zhicuo: What are you doing digging mountains?
Yu Gong: Open the way.
Zhisou: (I was stunned, and then I laughed. Laughing makes my stomach ache. ) Are you kidding? With you? These two mountains are 7 Li in Fiona Fang, Wan Ren Gao! Look at you, your hair and beard are white, can you dig mountains? You can't even do anything about the vegetation on the mountain, but you still dig the mountain? What a joke! Trying to move the mountain is simply a pipe dream. Your idea and practice are really stupid.
Yu Gong: (Stop what you are doing and give a long sigh. ) Zhisou, Zhisou, everyone says you are smart, but why can't you even understand this truth? I am old, but I still have strength. You can still do things! Maybe I can't see the mountain being removed, but my children and grandchildren can see it! Even if I die, there will still be my son. A son has a son, and a son has a grandson. There are endless children and grandchildren! And the mountain is neither enlarged nor raised, so why worry about digging uneven?
Zhizuo: (with a face of shame) ...
Scene 5
(The mountain god was holding a giant snake in his hand, and when he heard what they said, his heart was bad and he immediately flew to the sky.
the palace of the emperor of heaven. Solemn and solemn )
Mountain God: Report to the Emperor of Heaven. I have something important to tell you.
Tiandi: Come quickly if you have anything important.
Mountain God: There is an old man named Yugong who wants to move the two mountains, Taihang Mountain and Wangwu Mountain. And it's already digging.
Tiandi: Why did he move mountains?
Mountain God: It is said that the mountain blocked their way in and out, and they wanted to open a smooth road.
Tiandi: (Laughing) Can a mortal move a mountain? Hugh is talking nonsense.
Mountain God: But he said that his children and grandchildren will continue to do it, and then ...
Heaven Emperor: (thinking for a while, as if talking to himself) It's rare that he has such vision and perseverance.
mountain god: what should I do? Ask the Emperor of Heaven to make it clear.
Emperor of Heaven: Then let him be fulfilled. Where is Kwa 'e?
Quayle: I'm here!
Tiandi: Tell your two sons to move the two mountains. One is in Shuodong and the other is in Yongnan.
Quayle: Yes!
Scene 6
(People cheered. Where the mountains stopped in the past, now a flat avenue extends into the distance. )
Villagers: (Jumping and jumping, very excited) Yugong succeeded! Yu Gong succeeded!
Zhizuo: (sighs in shame) It seems that I am senile. It's time for my "old man" to be renamed "old man".
Shuang'er's mother: (hands folded) Thank God!
villagers: if you are sincere, the stone will open the door!
(On the avenue, people come and go. One by one, the faces are filled with happy smiles. There is infinite longing for the future in words. )
(End)
Yugong moved mountains
- Characters: storyteller, Yugong, foolish woman, son, Zhizuo, Tiandi, giant spirit god
Storyteller: Long long ago, at the foot of two big mountains, Wangwu and Taihang, there lived a family, the owner of which (. Call me stubborn? You are stubborn! This is called persistence. Do you understand ... Hey, young man, you don't read like this. You should jump on your head and read. Look, don't listen to me. It's so stubborn. You are stubborn!
Storyteller: (in silence) ... Because they live at the foot of two big mountains, it's very, very, very inconvenient for the Yugong family to do anything ...
[The voice of the foolish woman comes from behind: "Ah!"
Yu Gong: Old woman, I told you not to open the front door, but you forgot. Wangwu Mountain is in front of you. When you open the door, you must not bump into the rocks on the mountain!
Foolish woman (I): But I want to get some air. Forget it. I'll open the back door.
yugong: don't! No! There is a landslide in Taihang Mountain in the back these days. As soon as you open the door, you may roll down some dirt and gravel, which is more dangerous. You'd better not.
foolish woman: that's true, but it's not a problem for our family to jump in and out of this window every day! It's all because of you, an old thing. When building a house, you said that the mountain scenery is good and the air is fresh. You must build it between two mountains, saying,' Farming outside the west window, eating and watching the North Mountain.' You won't listen to anyone who advises you. After building the house, you have to open the door in the direction of the mountain. Now you can't even get out of the door. You have to climb the window when you go to the vegetable market to buy a dish. Why can't you listen to others?
Son: Yes, Mom is right. We are not as good as Spider-Man. Climbing the window every day is really tiring! Dad, I've thought about it. Let's open another door by this window.
Yugong: You silly son, how troublesome it is to open another door by the window, materials and workers!
son: well, what should we do according to your idea?
Yugong: I think, let's move the Taihang Mountain and the Wangwu Mountain together.
Son (in a low voice): Isn't this more troublesome?
yugong: ok, it's settled. from tomorrow on, the whole family will move mountains!
family: yes!
son: oh, yes, dad. How should we move?
Yugong: Why are you so stupid? Didn't Hanoi tower play? First remove the mountain layer by layer, and then install it at the destination.
son: this project is too big. I don't think so. Let's hollow out the foot of the mountain first, then put on wheels, and finally push it somewhere else. This is a lot easier.
yugong: aye! Silly son, it seems that you are smart sometimes. Let's do this for a long time
Storyteller (with a straight head): Cough, cough. It's finally my turn to play again. Cough, cough. Speaking of this, early the next morning, the Yugong family took their tools and began to dig up the mountain in full swing. When someone passes by, they ask them
(imitating the host), "This is a live report from Wangwu Taihang and International Radio and Television Station. (Analog microphone reaches out to son) Excuse me, what are you doing?"
son: oh, we are digging ... no, my dad said, we are improving the quality of life.
Storyteller: It won't be long before everyone knows their plan to move the mountain. As soon as the news spread, it became a well-known plan. The news soon reached the ear of an old man named Zhicuo. (Quietly) This old man likes to meddle. (on tiptoe)
Zhizuo: What are you talking about? ! Well, hello, everyone, I am the legendary super thunderbolt and invincible wisdom. ..... wisdom, is the wisdom of wisdom ... barbary ... barbary? Ah, whatever, it means old people anyway. To sum up, it is a wise old man. So, what I hate most is that people do stupid things. It's said that the old boy, Yu Gong, is going to move the two mountains, Wang Wu and Taihang Mountain. This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life. As a nosy ... well, I have an obligation to persuade him.
Yu Gong: 123! Come on, do it!
son: hey yo!
Yu Gong: Three, four, five! Dig more!
son: hey yo!
yugong: four, five, six! Don't litter!
son: hey yo!
Zhizuo: Is that Yu Gong over there?
Yugong: Who did I think it was? It was Zhisou, you smelly boy! Long time no see, let's go and have a drink at my house!
Zhizuo: Your home? No, I can't. I have to jump out of the window. My old bones can't jump. Let's talk here.
Yugong: OK!
Zhizuo: Uncle Yu, I heard that you are going to move the two mountains, Wangwu and Taihang?
Yugong: Huh? I'm such a low-key person. I didn't expect you to know about it.
Zhizuo: Yugong, you are such a fool! Have you ever thought that comparing the strength of your whole family with the two mountains of Wangwu and Taihang is like an ant moving an elephant and a bug shaking a tree? I don't think you'll ever move the mountain by half.
Yugong: Zhisou, you're the idiot. I can't do it in my life, and there's my son. My son can't do it, and there are my grandchildren. Children give birth to grandchildren, and grandchildren give birth to children. Children and grandchildren dig until the 28th century! I can't believe it's not successful.
Zhicuo: Oh, my God! But have you ever thought, if your whole family is exhausted from digging mountains, who will give you children and grandchildren? Yugong: Hey, that makes sense. Silly son! From tomorrow on, don't dig mountains, just stay at home and have grandchildren with your daughter-in-law!
son: yes! Daddy!
Zhizuo: And, Yu Gong, why do you have to move the two mountains? Just dig a big hole in the clearing and bury them.
Yugong: Where do you put the excavated soil?
Zhisou: This ... you can dig the hole deeper and bury it together.
Yugong: This is the first time I've heard of such a creative method.
Zhisou: Finally, I'll give you a piece of advice. It's really hard for your family to dig mountains. Why don't you spread a rumor and say it's at the foot of two big mountains?
Yugong: Zhisou, Zhisou, I always thought you were a gentleman, but I didn't expect you ... how could I do such a thing for no reason?
Zhizuo: I ...
Yugong: At least you have to draw a treasure map to be believed!
zhi shou: ah!
Storyteller: Just as Zhisou and Yugong were discussing intrigue, the celestial emperor heard about it. The celestial emperor was deeply moved.
[ The celestial emperor turned his face and burst into tears.
Giant Spirit: Your Majesty, although this is touching, you should take care of yourself!
Tiandi: (smacking) Onions are really delicious, but they are too irritating to the eyes. Ah, djinn, what did you just say? Giant spirit: Oh! No, it's nothing.
Tiandi: By the way, what fisherman did you just say ...
Giant Spirit: I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's not a fisherman, it's a foolish man.
Tiandi: Fisherman? That's the old fisherman.
Giant Spirit God: No, Your Majesty ...
Tiandi: Well, whatever his name is. Alas, I didn't expect that there are such persistent and stupid people in the world. It seems that the quality of our people needs to be improved. djinn!
troll: yes!
Tiandi: Go down and help him. Move that royal house and Taihang. Remember, you'd better go at night. I don't want to disturb Tai.
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