Super funny little joke

1. Your future depends on your dreams now, so go to sleep!

Second, Tang Yan's meat can live forever. I wonder if Tang Yan's feces have the same effect?

Think of me as a kite, or let me go or take me home. Don't bind me with an invisible emotion, it will break my heart.

Four, one day I went shopping with my friends, and we met a beggar by the overpass. I can't see his dirty face clearly. I immediately whispered to my friend that it was really ugly, so I threw him a dollar. Then the beggar immediately picked up the sewage next to him and washed his face. He threw me a hundred dollars and said to me, "You are ugly, so I'll give it to you for plastic surgery." I was speechless at that time.

The woman outside the umbrella is doomed not to go out in rainy days. ...

When I was a child, I liked playing hide-and-seek best. When others hide, I will go home for dinner.

Seven, you don't have a long head, or your head will be moldy! !

Eight, thank you, thank you, thank you for your family, thank you for your ancestors for 18 generations!

I am a lump of dried cow dung.

Today, I went back to my parents' home for dinner with my boyfriend and wore a short skirt. I accidentally tripped on the road, kneeling on the ground with my hands on my head, and my knees were red. When I got home, I was afraid of my mother's heartache, so I hid and told her about my fall. I thought she didn't care. As a result, my boyfriend went to add rice at dinner. My mother gave me a squint and said, "It's summer. Is it showing off to let your boyfriend change his posture? " My knees are red like this, and I'm ashamed. "

Eleven, shameless is also a quality! Missing is a kind of neuropathy!

Ugly girl: "I went on a blind date yesterday." Girlfriend: "Oh, what's the matter? Ugly girl: He got down on one knee. His girlfriend: impossible, this is the first time we met ... Ugly girl: He said my shoelaces were loose and he wanted to tie them for me. " Girlfriend: "Oh, well, what a romantic man. Ugly girl: Ho ho, he tied the shoelaces of my left and right feet together, and then turned and ran away!

Thirteen, what world is this? People live like dogs, and dogs live like people.

Fourteen, an uncle went to town and saw that all the young girls in the street were dressed very sexy, so he went back to facilitate his wife to brag. My wife was furious after hearing this. You don't think about me at all. Grandpa said, "Why not? I spit when I think about you, and I was fined five dollars. "

Fifteen, count the money and count the cramps in your hands until you wake up naturally!

16,3000 women lie in a row, take off their clothes and turn them over to see if they can get some.

17. A real estate agent just called me and recommended a house in Luohu District. I just said, my salary is 2000. The real estate agent said, "Sorry, thank you". Damn it, hang up the phone.

Eighteen, the female teacher in physics class complained that she was always wearing silk stockings. Xiao Ming couldn't help it: "stockings are easy to fall off, mainly because the tension is too large, resulting in plastic deformation ~ in layman's terms: thick legs!" " The teacher was about to speak when Xiao Ming said consciously, "I'm going out ..."

Nineteen. A: I curse that your wife is not a virgin! B: I curse your wife for being a virgin forever.

Twenty, a woman can't see through her heart because the meat on her chest is too thick.

Twenty-one, classic to the point of death.

Twenty-two, listen to you and leave me ten books!

Twenty-three, now it is 10 female 9 dew, 9 dew 8 silk, 8 silk 7 black, 7 black 6 transparent, 6 transparent 5 thick, 5 thick 4 Sao, 4 Sao 3 ugly, 3 ugly 2 fishing net, 2 fishing net 1 with holes. ...

Twenty-four, people always make mistakes, otherwise the right way is to squeeze.

Q: What do you like about me? A: I like you to stay away from me!

Twenty-six, only the closest people will publicly hurt you, and at the same time, when you are in the most dangerous, get you ashore-please cherish your best friend-good friend, for life!

Twenty-seven, amorous feelings of women are lighters, and women who don't understand amorous feelings are fire extinguishers.

28. I am a lonely tree. I have been standing on the side of the road for thousands of years, waiting for loneliness, just because one day you walk by me and I will fall for you. If I can't crush you, I will live in vain.

29. If you look in the mirror and pay taxes, I'm afraid some women will go bankrupt.

Thirty, I am lying on the sun earth, lying on the sun universe!

Thirty-one, if you can't be amazing, it's ugly!

Super funny little joke

Super funny selection of 20 small paragraphs 1. The direction against the wind is more suitable for soaring. Not afraid of being blocked by ten thousand people, I am afraid of surrendering myself.

You will never see me when I am loneliest, because I am loneliest only when you are not by my side.

Don't smile at me with your pirated Mona Lisa smile. My stomach is not as strong as you think.

Choose any handsome guy. If you don't like it, you don't need money.

5. Have you seen Water Margin? Four Tang Sanzang apprentices became sworn friends in Taoyuan, and Jia Baoyu caught up with Liangshan.

Every time I meet you, my heart is always beating. I don't know why you always nod and smile at me.

7. I am not very talkative, so I was offended. . . . . You fucking hit me! ! ! ~

8. What I fear most is watching the person I love fall in love with another person.

9. The most embarrassing thing is that someone stepped on your shoes while running. ...

10. My love for you silenced you, and your love for me became my extravagant hope.

1 1. Only women and heroes are sad, and wives and jobs are hard to find!

12. The happiest thing in the world is eating, and the second happiest thing is eating later!

13. Liangxi: If I were wifi, more people would love me.

14. I have tasted the ups and downs myself. I brought myself. I am my own sun and don't depend on anyone's light.

15. People eat pomegranate one by one, and I eat pomegranate one by one. My friend said: I ate loneliness, not pomegranate-!

16. No money, no power, no matter how good it is for you, can you follow me?

17. I fell in love with my bed, but the alarm clock was jealous and always wanted to separate me from the bed.

18. I want to use you as a toilet, because when I don't like you, I will sit on your ass.

19. I didn't say you are shameless, I said shameless people are like you.

20. So far, among the curses I have seen about Tanabata, this is the most vicious: curse the weaver girl to menstruate on Tanabata!

Super funny 20 small paragraphs recommended 1. When there is no money, my wife and secretary; When rich, the secretary and wife.

2. No difficulties, attitudes, discouragement, giving up and farting.

3. Acne grows more than 700 million a year, and acne can circle the earth twice together.

When you chase the prince charming in your heart, the frog waiting for you is actually a prince and will be caught. . .

If the person I hate likes me, then I don't hate him, because I can't hate such a discerning person.

6. Don't base your happiness on the pain of others, you are different from others.

7. Mo Yan is angry. What should we do? The answer is actually very simple: don't worry ... the countdown to school starts, and take the time to have fun and go to school to catch up on sleep.

Everyone should send as many eggs as possible, not flowers, because eggs can be eaten and flowers can only be seen. ......

9. This morning in spring, I woke up easily, hung up Q, and didn't bother. Suddenly heard the QQ sound, what is the truth.

10. Dogs and pigs play together. Dog: "How much is one plus one?" Pig: "Two!" "Dog:" Wow! How clever you are! "Pig:" Of course, you think I'm a pig! " "

1 1. Fireflies work as lighting effect engineers and fly together in the air. One of them didn't shine, and the other asked him curiously, "Brother! Why not shine? " The glowworm said, "Hey! Don't mention it, the electricity price has gone up again, and I still owe the electricity bill last month! "

12. "The temperature at the poles is getting higher and higher. Penguins and polar bears have left their territory. Finally, they met at the equator. Penguin said: Brother Xiong, although the greenhouse effect makes us not have to keep out the cold, this environment has made my family extinct. The polar bear said, "Sister Penguin, don't be sad. Although we will disappear first, human beings will pay for what they have done. "

13. The kitten was fishing by the river and was accidentally caught by a shallow crab. When the crab saw something bad, it ran away. The kitten went on fishing and soon caught a shrimp. The kitten saw it and said, "Xiaoya, you are so thin in the blink of an eye. The weight loss effect is good."

14. A rooster fell in love with a hen, so he decided to invite the hen to dinner. The hen readily agreed and dressed up to attend. After dinner, the waiter asked the rooster to pay the bill. The rooster said, "It pays the bill today." The hen paused and said, "Didn't you invite me to dinner?" The rooster said, "haven't you heard that the iron rooster is penniless?" I am a miser. "

15. The puppy and kitten went to court to sue for divorce soon after they got married. The elephant judge asked them why. The puppy said, "The kitten doesn't go home every night. I suspect it is cheating! " The kitten is full of grievances and says, "I'm just chasing mice." Dog: "Look, it admits!" " "

16. A snake in the jungle likes to swallow the sparrow's nest while bypassing the trunk. Other snakes thought it was strange and asked why it wanted to eat Nestle. Only this snake gave the other snakes a white look: "Didn't you listen to what humans said?" Then I closed my eyes as if I had an endless aftertaste, slowly exhaled and sighed, "Nestle coffee is delicious!" " "

20 super funny jokes 1. When will Taiwan Province Province be reunified? The answer is: when buying instant noodles. Today is National Day. We eat instant noodles at home together and look forward to the reunification of the motherland. Amen!

2. On the occasion of National Day, I don't want to give you too much, just give you 50 million: happy, healthy, safe and content, never forget me!

On the occasion of National Day, I don't want to give you too much, just give you 50 million: happy, healthy, safe and contented, never forget me!

4. The weather is getting colder and the mood is getting better; The work went smoothly and the salary went up; Children grow up and have less troubles; The car has just been bought, the mortgage has also been paid, the National Day is coming, and the seven-day holiday has begun.

5. Back pain, leg cramps, physical and mental fatigue, kidney deficiency, fortunately, 11 to rescue; Pay tribute to the dust in the distance, let the moldy soul flow into the water, relax and walk the horse, and spend the eleventh day happily.

6. You are happy on a hot day. Pay attention to your health on a special day. Be gentle and pure. Don't let the sun shine on you. You are handsome and tender. All the beauty today belongs to you! Happy National Day!

7. People are happy when they are happy, and the National Day Mid-Autumn Festival is a double happiness. Wish you a happy holiday!

8. If one day, you are too tired to walk, just turn around and I will be by your side! No matter how far away, no matter how many years, may my blessing turn into a star and shine in every day of your life! Happy National Day!

9. If one day you think of someone who loved you, it must be me. If one day no one loves you, it must be that I am dead. I still miss you on National Day, don't you?

10. Is there anyone like me? I feel that things in my dreams can always be realized in reality.

Super funny joke

1. How far is it forever? Get out, boy!

Second, the happiest thing in the world, sex; The happiest thing in the world is to have a rest and have sex again.

Third, you know what you look like without peeing.

The fish said, "I always open my eyes to leave your side." The water said, "I have been flowing tirelessly all day, surrounding you and holding you tightly." The pot said, "It's almost fucking ripe and there's still so much nonsense."

If you count the increase of salary and pork, you will find that you are not even as good as a pig!

Six, if people live by eating, that meal is not called rice, but called feed.

7. I drove past a scenic spot, stopped at the roadside and bought a bottle of mineral water. I asked the children who sold the goods: "Why are some mineral water bottles full and some bottles not full?" The child replied: "The full bottle is filled by my mother, and the dissatisfied bottle is filled by my father."

Eight, we are a village-run middle school in rural areas, and the teachers are relatively weak. So there is a shortage of teachers. My Chinese teacher's handwriting is recognized as beautiful by the whole school. Not only that, the Chinese teacher is also the headmaster of our school. On this day, the headmaster assigned homework and handed out exercise books. Let me see. Wow! The headmaster actually wrote a few big characters on my homework, which is so beautiful! ! I must keep it in the future. Maybe it will become an antique in hundreds of years. My deskmate also shouted, attracting everyone's attention in the class. Everyone asked in unison, "What did you write? What is the collection value? " I can see that they are a little jealous. I said, "I didn't do my homework, so you can make it up for me!" " "

How many Chinese cabbages would like to sleep with me?

Ten, go to the pizza shop to buy pizza! The waiter asked me whether to cut it into 8 pieces or 12 pieces. I thought about it and said: 8 yuan! 12 can't eat!

Eleven, as a typical failure, you are too successful!

It is said that the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl are the most miserable, only one day a year. I said they are actually the happiest! Who are you missing for 364 days?

13, what did you look like before the accident?

Fourteen, if a dog passes by you, it will not look at you in a hurry; If it's okay, it will look at you. If your eyes are more friendly, they will turn around your feet. This kind of etiquette is lacking between people.

15. You must come to be my partner on the wedding day, because we promised to walk into the marriage hall together. ...

Sixteen, I am not afraid that beautiful women will treat me like a pervert, but I am afraid that ugly women will treat me like a rogue!

Seventeen, fell down, get up and cry ~ ~ ~

Eighteen, my lover calls me a third party!

Nineteen, the biggest trouble for men is creditors, and the biggest trouble for women is lovers.

Twenty, the real society ruined my opportunity to be a good person.

Twenty-one, senior three, in chemistry class, the teacher talked about organic chemistry polymers or something. Suddenly the teacher gave an example and drew a "phthalein bond" on the blackboard, telling everyone that this is a "eunuch". Let's give him a "methyl" and laugh.

Twenty-two, I won't hit you, you don't know that I am both civil and military.

Twenty-three, a dinosaur went to the toilet when passing by Xi Jiaotong University. When she came out, she sobbed, "555, I finally don't have to worry about getting married in my life ..."

24. What plastic bag do you put in front of Lao Zi? Do you have shit on your head?

Me: Honey, I bought you a bottle of perfume. Daughter-in-law: How much? Me: You can sleep with me. Daughter-in-law: 400 yuan. Did I know something?

26. If there is only one mouthful of porridge in the future, you drink it first, and then I lick the bowl clean-

Twenty-seven, there is a grave in the heart, and the widow is buried.

28. I'll be a worker when you enter a foreign company, because that's a very special day for invigilators-sit in front of me! Life!

Twenty-nine, there are more and more monsters in this world, and there are fewer and fewer Taoist priests in Tang Dynasty.

People always deceive themselves, because it is easier than deceiving others.

rich joke

First, you are calm because you are not afraid of death. I am calmer than you, because I am not afraid of your death.

Second, boss, a bowl of tomato and egg noodles, not noodles.

Third, the Spring Festival this year. . Students working in Shanghai will return to Hefei for the holidays. But as we all know, it is hard to get a ticket for a holiday, and he can't buy one either. So he signed up for a two-day tour of Chaohu-Fangte. Later, he went home … and went to Fontaine to play a roller coaster! Dear friends, the 11 th holiday can be handled according to this!

Fourth, there is a kind of silence, calling the old class. . .

5. I ... lack sleep, money, love and soul. . . The only reason I don't lack is: I don't lack meat ~ ~!

6. Today, my buddy sent me a short message: "I missed my stop to see the beautiful woman on the bus." I replied, "How beautiful?" He said, "I have been to four stops ..."

7. I don't like to tidy my room. They all call me a messy room hero.

Eight, if money is the capital you love me, then please hit me with money.

In the dead of night, I often ask myself, was it right or wrong to decide to come to earth? . .

Ten, one day at noon, Lao Liu happened to meet Lao Zhang on the road, hurriedly say hello, and conveniently took out a dime from his pocket and gave it to Lao Zhang. Lao Liu said, "Lao Zhang, I lent you a dime the day before yesterday, and I won't pay it back until today." Lao Zhang said: "Forget it, a dime, what else!" "Give it back to me, give it back to me!" Lao Liu just stuffed a dime into Lao Zhang's hand. Lao Zhang had to accept it and said, "If you really want to pay it back, I'm welcome. I will close this account when I go back later! " "

Eleven, hang a mosquito net to sleep in it, Doby mosquito, make it anxious.

When I have money, I will take the person I hate the most to the best mental hospital!

Thirteen, look at the time is not to get up, but to see how long you can sleep. . .

Fourteen, when school starts, the teacher will tell you that "school is your home". When you sleep in class, the teacher says, "You think school is your home". When cleaning, the teacher will tell you that "school is your home". When you don't wear school uniform, the teacher said, "Do you think school is your home?" !

Fifteen, there is a kind of base, boasting the scar and forgetting the pain. . .

I have been trying to copy every exam for more than ten years. For what? Is it for yourself? In order to improve the average score of the class, for the teacher's face, for the grade director's first evaluation, and for the face of the principal who went to the meeting of the Education Bureau, I was scared to sweat every time I copied it. Did I mention complaining? I'm so selfless. What else do you want from me?

Seventeen, what is a class teacher, is to destroy your friendship and then destroy your love, don't let go of your family!

Eighteen, don't play hard now, I'll play with you later.

Yesterday, I took part in the pigeon racing in the city, but I went alone. ...

Twenty, it is better to be ruthless than to tear your heart out.

Due to the recent frequent earthquakes, the road to love has been broken. Please make a detour.

School life is average. I am just a little tired and want to sleep, but my classmates and teachers are very funny and often laugh. There is always a hunch that my former classmates will be in a better mood after the eleventh holiday.

Twenty-three, an upright man, do your homework! Business women don't know how to hate their country and do their homework all day! I looked up and found it was moonlight. I bowed my head and did my homework! If relatives and friends in Luoyang ask each other, just say I'm doing my homework! Young people don't work hard, but the boss does his homework! Sitting up in critical condition, I didn't do my homework today! Be a good person alive and do your homework when you die! No one has died since ancient times, so continue to do your homework in the afterlife! Looking for him in the crowd, suddenly looking back, the man was doing his homework!

24. W: I'm worried. Can you listen to me? Say it. W: I had a good time during the National Day holiday. After eight days of revelry, my clothes are full of the essence of sunshine and sweat. This is a real feminine fragrance. Suddenly, I feel that I can reach the realm of unity of people and clothes in a few days, which is very good for peach blossoms. Man: Speak human words. W: I don't want to wash clothes. ...

25, my god, you let summer and winter share a room, right? Give birth to this damn weather

Twenty-six, sometimes patronize the refrigerator at night, just want to know ... the real food, dare to face the thick thighs, dare to challenge the bulging abdomen. 1 1 Month 20xx and Mid-Autumn Festival are linked together. Will there be a ten-day holiday in a row? No, God gave it to us before the end of the world.

Twenty-seven, every time the teacher thinks he is awesome. After teaching for more than ten years, he never thought that we had been students for more than ten years and had never seen any teachers. The teacher is weak

Twenty-eight The woman who used to cook uncooked rice is yours. It doesn't matter if you cook raw rice into popcorn now.

Twenty-nine, if fate grabs your throat, you scratch fate's armpit.

Chinese can at least increase your literary knowledge, English can make you communicate with ghosts, history can keep you from betraying, geography can keep you from getting lost, politics can let you know how to safeguard your rights, but what else can mathematics do except ruin your life? You can buy functional food. When you see a row of telephone numbers, you should think about whether there is a general formula between them.

Thirty-one, the figure is actually quite good, fat but not greasy.

32. I didn't know until school started: the farthest distance in the world is from Monday to Friday.

Thirty-three, a man is so funny, saying that his hand turned over the grave robbery, and then he lost control and couldn't stop, and then the eleventh holiday was gone … gone … after watching the grave robbery, the holiday was gone …

Thirty-four, look at the nose in the middle, look at the face with Qi Liuhai, look at the temperament with oblique bangs, and look at the five senses without bangs. . . I am suitable for facial mask! ! !

Thirty-five, very sad and disappointed, there is only the last day of the eleventh holiday. You wake up naturally after a sleep, you eat and drink, you are stuck on the highway, and your heart is broken. You have to say goodbye to the longest holiday in 20xx history.

36. There are no ifs in life, only consequences and results.

Thirty-seven, I couldn't help sneezing when I took the bus in the morning. I heard a woman in the back seat say, honey, I heard that influenza A is very serious recently, so I'm afraid of Austria. Then the man said, "What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of a stream even if you are not afraid of people? " ?

Thirty-eight, goose, cut the curve with a knife, pluck the hair and add water, ignite and cover the pot.

People in the upper class like to do dirty, low-level and boring things.

Forty, dad says handsome men lie, and mom says unattractive men lie. Your father is a good example.

Forty-one, as long as you have classes in your heart, you won't skip classes anywhere.

Forty-two, counting the college entrance examination, we spent 12 years of our youth, with at least 400,000 to 500,000 tuition fees. We supported Chen Guang Factory, True Color Factory, Machine Reading Card Factory, numerous paper mills, numerous printing houses, Hanlin Bookstore, Xinhua Bookstore, urban transportation industry, restaurants around the school, as well as all teachers' salaries and bonuses, the principal's car, gas money and gymnasium. College entrance examination is a national pillar private enterprise. This is our credit!

When you ask the male toad what is the most beautiful, his answer must be the female toad. There is no doubt about his appreciation level, but his environment is different.

Female customer: Does this suit look good on me? Shop assistant: Everything looks good on you! Female customer: Does this necklace look good on me? Shop assistant: Any necklace looks good on your neck. Female customer: Do you think my husband looks good? Shop assistant: madam, any gentleman standing next to you will look good!

Forty-five, eleven: blocking, a line of egrets in the sky, Lao Tzu squeezed in the middle; Excuse me, where is the restaurant? It's blocked at the toll booth. She also hid half of her face behind her guitar so that we couldn't see it, and forgot to bring instant noodles in the car; Since God has given talents, let them be used! Do not move for five hours. Cold rain into the night, watching the sunrise on the highway; Apes on both sides of the strait don't cry, and they don't live in cars at home. Roar when the road is rough and walk the dog on the highway; The mountains and rivers in Wan Li are all red, and every bear is glad to go out.

46, 600 in the morning, you lie in bed, close your eyes for 5 minutes, open your eyes, it is 745. In the afternoon 130, you sit in the classroom, close your eyes for 5 minutes, but after you open your eyes, it is 13 1.